How to start a love letter: 15 steps (with pictures)

How to start a love letter: 15 steps (with pictures)
How to start a love letter: 15 steps (with pictures)

In the words of the philosopher Max Muller, “a flower cannot blossom without sun and man cannot live without love. If you know how you feel inside of you, but find it difficult to put words into your thoughts to write a love letter, don't panic! Whether you want to write to the love of your life, someone important to you, or just someone "special", the tips below will come in handy as you write your great work.


Method 1 of 3: Write to someone you admire

Start a Love Letter Step 1

Step 1. Forget the traditional formatting rules

If you don't know how to write the header of your love letter, how many lines to skip before you start writing, or where to write the date, well, stop worrying right now! Love letters are not formal writing exercises. In fact, they are even some of the most informal, personal and intimate documents that a person will write in their life. The content of your letter is much, much more important than the way it is organized, which is why you have the freedom to break free from the standard rules of writing a letter.

  • If you're looking for a more conservative option, just write the recipient's name on the left edge of the first line, followed by a comma. For example, if you are writing to Rebecca Dupont, your favorite in the math class, simply write “Rebecca” at the top left of the page.
  • If you want something more daring, don't be afraid to bend traditional formatting rules to your liking. For example, if you wanted to include today's date as you would in a traditional letter, you could take the opportunity to improve your chances by writing something like, "September 29, 2014, 145 days since I told you. met for the first time … "
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Step 2. Pick a salutation that shows your reader is special

In a letter, the greeting is the little phrase that introduces the letter. Usually it is something like "Dear John", "to the person concerned" or something similar. Depending on the purpose of your letter, there are literally dozens of greetings that may be appropriate. While you "can" use a regular greeting for your love letter, getting creative right off the bat is a great way to show that you care enough for your reader to put some care into that wording. If you feel like it, you can even skip the greeting part entirely, it's up to you!

For example, if you are writing to John Ramirez, the handsome kid you met at the bookstore, you might try to refer to it in the greeting by writing something like, "Dear John, my beautiful bookworm."

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Step 3. Aim to intrigue or excite the reader in your first line

Love letters can be a lot of things (eg sweet, sassy, ​​sincere, or mischievous), but they should never be boring. A love letter is not only an opportunity to reveal your feelings to the one you love, it is also an opportunity to interest that person in being with you! Your first line should reflect this: be funny, funny, or even "outrageous," but whatever you do, don't start with "I'm writing to tell you I'm crazy for you." Here's why…"

  • Here's a good example of an exciting introduction: let's say for example we're writing to Suzie Jackson, a real "bombshell" you know from the debate class. There are a million different ways to do this, here are two.
  • “The hardest part of the debate course isn't having to put up with Mr. Nelson's rules, it's having to argue with someone I'm madly in love with. "
  • “Last week when you stepped onto the platform you argued hard for a lump sum tax, but I felt like you were arguing to win my heart. "
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Step 4. Use a playful, but respectful tone

While lovers of all times have often used a stilted and formal tone to court each other, modern lovers can usually indulge in a little more fun. Don't be afraid to be goofy or even gently tease your partner in your letter. If you already know each other well, this type of informal approach will usually lead to laughter or equivocation and not to a feeling of upset.

  • For example, as long as you make it clear that you are joking, you can take long flights of archaic and flowery language. Don't be afraid to "think big". For example, you can start with “My very dear beloved, the one for whom my heart continues its dance. You enchant each of my days, one after the other. I would be honored to take you to the high school boom”.
  • On the other hand, you shouldn't be too "wild". Beyond a sweet tease or two, don't be rude or disrespectful, and don't use profanity unless you already have a history of using those words with the other person. Remember that you are trying to win that person's heart, not crush their ego.
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Step 5. Amplify the romance with personal touches

Your love letter shouldn't be read like a standard letter. Ideally, your writing should make it clear that you wrote it with one person (and only one) in mind. Try to include details specific to your partner, like how he or she looks, how he or she makes you feel and how he or she makes your life better, to show that you have intention in your writing..

For example, if you write to Stefan Burnett, the star of the swim team, you can approach it with a bit of a teasing gait and include the following details: “Stefan, my heart skips five beats every time you go out. of the swimming pool. Your eyes are bluer than chlorine, your abs are harder than locker room tiles and your hair is blacker than your Speedo. Marry me. "

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Step 6. Know what to avoid

Confessing your love to someone is tricky, and no matter how elegant the pen is, mistakes are easy to make. Fortunately, some mistakes can pass for sweet and endearing eccentricities. On the other hand, other mistakes can arise in unflattering ways. The following are things you should avoid writing in your letter.

  • Self-deprecating humor (i.e. laughing at yourself or putting yourself down). Some have mastered this art, but it is quite risky to dabble in it.
  • The poems. Unless you are a confirmed poet or are already dating your reader, your masterpiece could be shared with the latter's friends and family (and not necessarily in the best possible way).
  • Mention other people. Try to write only about two people: you and your reader. Now is not the time to make the other jealous.
  • Rude, dirty or extreme sexual references. Wait until you go out together.

Method 2 of 3: Write to your boyfriend or girlfriend

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Step 1. Start warm and familiar

If you are writing a letter to someone who is already in your life, the tips below might still be helpful, but you might find that your results will be better using a slightly different approach. Since you've earned that person's affection, you don't have to worry too much about arousing their arousal or being scheming. You can use a tone that's a little more intimate and familiar, closer to pillow conversation than a high-intensity flirtation.

For example, if you wrote to Mike Greene, your boyfriend for a year, you might start off like this: “Mike, my love. Has it been 1 year already? 12 wonderful months? 52 great weeks? 365 extreme days? How time has flown by. "

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Step 2. Make references to private jokes

When you've been with someone long enough, you probably have your own “vocabulary” as a couple: terms, references, and jokes that only the two of you understand. To give your letter a personal touch, try sprinkling these thoughts in the first part of your letter. It will show that you remember and value your shared experiences.

So you decide what to put in this part, because only you and your loved one are able to know those private jokes, your little nicknames and other obscure references

Start a Love Letter Step 9

Step 3. Write honestly, even about your conflicts and disappointments

No relationship is perfect. After an initial “honeymoon” period, members of each couple begin to slowly but surely notice each other's flaws, get on each other's nerves, and sometimes even have arguments. It's normal to be someone's important person. Don't be afraid to touch on these things lightly in your letter. After all, they are a part of your relationship just like the happy times, which luckily are more common.

  • However, no matter how serious your letter is, you need to let its reader know that you are confident in your relationship. Never give your boyfriend or girlfriend the impression that you might be intending to break up. This could make your relationship strained and uncertain, potentially ending in a breakup.
  • For example, let's say you write to Kim Jones, your girlfriend you recently had an argument with. You could write a sentence or two like this: "I know we have a fight sometimes, Kimmy." In a way, our little quarrels are positive. Each time we reconcile, I am more and more convinced that I made the right decision”.
Start a Love Letter Step 10

Step 4. Use flowery language for humor

Don't be afraid to be funny in your love letter. A lot of things suggest that humor can be a very sexy trait, for both men and women. While it's hard to come up with humorous introductions, and you probably shouldn't try it if you don't have a knack for it, it does reinforce your light side. Plus, since you're already dating the recipient of your letter, you don't have to worry too much about staying “okay” or “nice”. As long as you're not terribly rude or cruel (and can use a good sense of humor), you can play a joke without being afraid of making a bad impression. Here's an example of a ridiculously over-the-top and deliberately cheeky introduction.

Despite the terrible cold last night, I walked unperturbed. It was snowing harder and harder. Was I going to be able to continue? What despair! With each step I took on the frozen ground, I became more and more decaying. My skin was so full of frostbite it turned black. I thought that in this gloomy time I was going to die, that I was destined to languish in this tomb of ice. But oh surprise, what was it? Could this be possible? A light coming down from the sky! An effervescent glitter luminescence shone through a sublime glow of an even brighter figure. It was not possible. And yet it is. It was you. You were there, you, the only thing that got me out of the darkness, out of this plague, out of this affliction, out of this anathema. "

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Step 5. Study the love letters of the greatest lovers in history

Do you think it sucks? No worries, the story is filled with hundreds of excellent love letter writers, each with their own unique style. Here are a few examples from the literary world that you should take a look at (and there are plenty more, from all walks of life).

  • The early 21st century writer Katherine Mansfield was a great love letter writer, able to use her literary talents to write beautiful passages to loved ones, male and female (Mansfield was bisexual). Here is a short passage from a letter she sends to her second husband John Murray Mansfield: “You are everything to me, I have the impression of breathing you, hearing you and feeling you in me and on me. "
  • If you're up for a bit of saucy (see a lot), Irish author James Joyce's love letters to his wife Nora Barnacle can be great inspiration. Here is a passage he wrote before their marriage: “I'm like crazy when you call me honey. I upset two men today by coldly abandoning them. I wanted to hear your voice, not theirs. "
  • Not all love letters need to be syrupy poetic musings. The love letters of the Austro-Hungarian author Franz Kafka were often unpredictable, bordering on the bizarre. Here is a passage from a letter to his fiancée (who was never his wife), Felice Bauer: “If only I had your answer now! How much I torment you, I force your hand, in the quiet of your room, to read this letter, the most disagreeable letter I have ever put on your desk! Honestly, it sometimes seems to me that I am plagued by your happy name! "

Method 3 of 3: Write to your spouse

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Step 1. Feel free to start with a loud bang or whisper

Marriage is a decision that, for most people, means a lifelong commitment. Ideally, married couples should share such a level of privacy that there would be very little that they would not be comfortable discussing. When it comes to writing a love letter, that means anything can potentially be put on the table. While you should probably be sincere (rather than ironic, for example), there is plenty of room to be creative.

  • There is no “right” way to start a love letter to your spouse. Only you know his innermost hopes, dreams, feelings and fears, so you decide what to write about that.
  • If you are in doubt, just be honest about your feelings. Even saying something as simple as "I love you, this is how I always felt and this is how I always will feel" can do the trick.
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Step 2. Make a reference to your first shared experience as a couple

One trick that will surely do the trick for triggering hot, nostalgic feelings in your partner is to remind them of the memories of your first meeting or date. It almost always works to bring back the great memories of your common youth, when you were both more naive and carefree. If written with sincerity, including this type of nostalgic reference can make your letter extremely poignant, sweet, and moving.

If you write, for example, to your wife Tina Smith, whom you met in the hospital when she was your nurse, on the occasion of your 20th wedding anniversary, you could start like this: “I still remember that day ago. 22 years old, Tina. I woke up among those cream-colored pillows at Sainte-Claire Hospital, as if I had reached Heaven. Was it a dream? Did I survive the accident? Then I saw you and in an instant I was more grateful to be alive than I have ever been before. "

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Step 3. Focus on how your love has matured over time

A couple who have been married for years are not the same couple they were when they first started (or even when they got married). Marriage changes a relationship. Often this change is not better or worse, just different.To add a poignant side to your letter, you could draw attention to how your relationship has evolved, such as saying that your feelings for each other are more mature, talking about how you found out about each other's secrets, etc.. As you do this, reflect on the fact that your love, while different, is not weaker than it was on the first day of your honeymoon.

Say, for example, you write to Jim Davidson, your husband for a little over a year. You could try something like, “Jim, honey. It's been just 14 months now and it feels like we've been married a lifetime. The way we talk, the way we touch each other and even the way we look at each other is so much more subtle, so much more intimate than at the beginning. I've never loved you so much. "

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Step 4. Call attention to your undying dedication

It's a fact: not all marriages last until "death do us part". However, the love letter you send to your spouse should be written as if the opposite is impossible or even absurd. Even if you can mention the difficulties you have in your relationship, don't let any doubt question the strength of your marriage. Make your love letter proclaim loud and clear that you intend to spend the rest of your life with your partner (and how much you want to!).

For a great example of what kind of positive, assertive approach you should take, enjoy this passage from a love letter written by President Woodrow Wilson to Edith Bolling Galt, who has become his second wife: “You have the best soul, noblest nature, sweetest and most loving heart I have ever known, and the love, reverence, admiration I have for you took in one evening a magnitude comparable to what only a life of intimacy and loving union could have accomplished. "


  • Take your time.

    Find time to think about what you want to write and really focus on that task. It is better to make one, two, or even three drafts of the letter.

  • Be patient).

    If the right words don't all come right away, don't worry! Your feelings will come to paper in due course if you persevere.

  • Be yourself !

    Make what you write as personal and original as possible.


  • Don't be weird.

    If the person you're sending the letter to has told you they're not interested, don't bother them any longer! While it sometimes helps to write your feelings down in a thoughtful way, going too far and turning it into an obsession might take them away from you altogether.

  • It might not work!

    Even though you have put your whole heart into your letter, sometimes the feelings are not mutual. Understand that nothing does not happen by chance. You will eventually meet someone who will love you for who you are! Try not to get stuck on what you could have phrased better, as it may well be that while your writing had been wonderful, that may not be the person it was intended for.

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