Facebook: the social network where relationships form, develop and sometimes die. We all know what it feels like when one of our Facebook contacts removes us from their friend list. Did you say something that you shouldn't have said? Is this a message from him? If these thoughts occur to you and you want to get over it, here is some reassurance!
Part 1 of 3: Make sure you've been deleted
Step 1. Be certain of the situation
Before you lose your mind because someone deleted you from their Friends list, make sure you do. Sometimes you will have the impression that someone has deleted you, when they are just not very present on the platform.
- To find out if you are still "friends" with someone, click on their profile. At the top right of the page, a button will say either "friends" or "add".
- If the button says "friends," then the person hasn't removed you from their list and you will still be listed on each other's friends.
- If the button says "add", you and that person are no longer friends on Facebook.
Part 2 of 3: understand the reasons for deletion
Step 1. Evaluate the possibilities
If you were indeed removed from someone's Friends list, try to determine some plausible reasons for doing so. Be reasonable and honest in your analysis: don't overwhelm yourself and pretend you've done nothing annoying. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine why you got deleted.
Do you tend to spam?
There is nothing more annoying for Facebook users than reading spam several times a day. Perhaps you are promoting your brand (personal or business) a little too much, or perhaps you are talking too much about a product or service that you love.
Are you a show-off?
Another major annoyance factor on Facebook is people who put themselves forward too much. Are you constantly posting "selfies" on your wall? Do you spend your time mentioning your vacation spots or your great weekend outings? Do you let your friends know how far you have cycled, how successful your diet is or what you have been shopping for?
Do you post your scores on different games?
People who don't play the same games as you will quickly get tired of "I made my farm bigger!" Messages. And invitations to join the game. You will end up annoying your contacts and risk losing some Facebook friends!
Are you looking for compliments?
By constantly asking others to like your posts, you can be sure to annoy them. If people feel like you are harassing them, they could quickly decide to remove you from their friends.
Are you shouting your love from the rooftops?
Over-the-top and repeated declarations of love for your husband, wife, best friend, fiancé, etc., can quickly annoy others, especially people who feel lonely.
Is your child at the heart of all your publications?
The occasional snapshot of your kids is one thing … but information about potty training and the intellectual potential of your little geniuses will send some of your friends straight to the delete button.
Do you disagree with this person?
Maybe you had an argument with her on Facebook or in real life? After such an interaction, some people will instinctively remove you from their friend list. It might sound petty, but if it boils you down, the message's probably got across. Perhaps the time has come to hold out an olive branch?
Does this person have too many Facebook friends?
Is this person dangerously approaching the limit of 5,000 friends? In this case, unless you are a close friend of her, she has probably made the pragmatic decision to do without you to make room for someone she meets on a daily basis and who is closer to her. that you.
Do you tend to complain?
Is each of your status an update on your various aches, pains, operations, convalescence and future medical appointments? Whether you're trying to gain attention, empathy, or commentary, you will certainly come across as a grumbler. How would you like to be friends with someone like this?
Do you tend to share too much?
How many memes, funny or cute images, and inspirational quotes have you shared over the past week? Sure, these posts can be fun, but if you take up all the space in other users' news feeds and never write a status yourself, your "friends" may not find you all. just not interesting.
Are you saying too much about your political and religious views?
By talking over and over again about the political parties you like and dislike, you can be sure to annoy others. The guilt-ridden memes are the worst of the lot: "Share if you're not ashamed to believe in God."
Do you spy on others?
If you comment on every post from a friend of yours, they might feel harassed. Imagine the real-life equivalent of someone commenting on your every move. Friendship and unhealthy curiosity are two different things.
Do you keep inviting your contacts to play online?
If you sent too many game invitations to this friend, you've probably got on their nerves. That’s probably why he deleted you.
Is this friend really one?
Do you know this person very well? If she's just the friend of your friend's friend, the connection probably isn't enough for her … and your status probably didn't interest her much.
Part 3 of 3: Overcome the Situation
Step 1. Understand and accept the situation
If you are still in doubt as to why this person removed you from their friends, seek to understand them based on your reasonable analysis of the situation. For example, if the person has nearly 5,000 friends, it is quite normal for them to decide to remove people they are not close to in real life, in order to make room for their friends and family. family. You would probably do the same and you will have to accept that others do the same. These few tips might help you come to terms with the situation.
- Don't be mad at this person. Respect his decision. After all, if you deleted a friend on Facebook, you wouldn't want that person to hate you.
- Realize that you can't make someone be your friend, whether on Facebook or in real life. It just isn't possible, and smooth relationships are a part of life.
- Avoid giving more importance than necessary to this action. Even if you think that person deleted you to hurt you, understand that your validation should come from yourself and not from outside sources. Avoid rehashing any hidden message.
- If you know that this person has deleted you in response to an argument, try to come to terms with them. This action is no different from any other sign of annoyance or anger. However, don't make a big deal out of it: try to resolve the dispute, not your removal from her friends list.
- If the person who deleted you was a close friend or family member, kindly ask them the reason for their decision. Maybe that’s just a mistake! And if you weren't, be courteous and don't get carried away.
- If there hasn't been an argument and you see this person regularly in real life, continue to be respectful and kind to them. Never be rude or aggressive with someone for deleting you on Facebook. If you want to bring it up, do it kindly and be understanding.
Step 2. Move on
Don't dwell on the fact that someone has deleted you from their Facebook friends, and don't try to edit your profile to appeal to others. If you are happy with your posts on the network, don't change anything. Tell yourself that it is your friend who is losing something by not having access to a glimpse of your life. Don't feel hurt for so little, and don't check his profile over and over again to find out what is going on. Move on: you have lots of friends who enjoy your company.
Correct your annoying behavior. If you don't have to change your personality or your tastes in your approach to Facebook, still try to change the annoying behaviors (like those noted in the previous section). Too frequent, uninteresting, boring or silly posts never work well. Know that you are capable of better, and make the necessary changes to be able to enjoy Facebook without the platform becoming a source of negativity in your life
Step 3. Quit Facebook
If you can't seem to forget the person who deleted you and it becomes a haunting thought (you ruminate over it over and over), it might be time to step away from Facebook for a while. After all, social media is one of the biggest addictions of our generation. Here are some approaches to try to overcome the situation.
- Deactivate your account or leave it as is, untouched for a while.
- Remove the app from your phone. So it won't be constantly in front of your eyes and in your mind, especially on a portable device that is accessible anywhere. Take a well-deserved break to take a step back.
- Get involved in activities that you enjoy, such as sports, nature, art, music, or even writing an article on wikiHow. By thinking of something else, you will put this mishap in its place: in the heap of small inconveniences without importance.
Step 4. Don't focus on what this person has done
Indeed, she may no longer think about it since her click. Focus on your life, not worrying about what's going on on Facebook.
Step 5. Add a new person
If you think this will help you move on, add a new Facebook friend to your list. Pick someone you've only talked to once or twice at school or at work or the new girl on your volleyball team. Trying to get closer to a new person will quickly forget the person who deleted you from their friends.
- If you add someone on Facebook and start talking to them on the platform, don't pretend you don't know them in real life.
- Learn not to take it too seriously. If someone removes you from their friends, that doesn't mean they don't like you. He just made the decision to remove you from his Facebook friends. Respect his choice.
- Over time, some people realize that social media just isn't for them. It has nothing to do with you: they just realized that these platforms are not suitable for them and do not like to connect to them. You can usually still contact these people over the Internet, for example by email. It's okay to ask someone how to stay in touch with them if they decide to leave social media.
- If you ask someone why they deleted you from their Facebook friends, do so with kindness. Aggressive confrontation could end the friendship in real life. Stay classy and don't investigate. Ask the question gently and give the person the space they need.
- To talk about your family life and share private moments in your life, use networks like Huglr, where you will only be in touch with your family and your best friends.
- If you ignored someone, that's probably why they deleted you from their friends. For example, if someone called and texted you, with no response from you, but saw that you were posting on Facebook, they might have been upset and made the decision to you. to delete. Accept his choice and move on. Be more considerate in the future.
- Some people will delete you if you don't talk much together or if they only know you through the internet. Always consider your level of intimacy with the person.
- If you have determined that you have probably been deleted due to your spam emails, stop this immediately. Spam is annoying at best (if you promote your business) and potentially dangerous (if you share viruses or scams) at worst.
- Do not think that your value depends on the validation of others. You will be more easily hurt by a contact who removes you from their friend list if you over-value your connection with that person because you felt flattered that they noticed you. If this is a recurring problem, see a professional (therapist, psychologist) or talk to someone you trust. Learn to develop your self-esteem.
- Think twice before sending a new friend request or message on the subject. You might scare him or make a fool of yourself. Facebook now allows users to block someone's friend requests by categorizing their first request as spam. If you send them a friend request, then the person can not only decline it, but prevent you from doing it again later. Or it could block you outright.
- Understand that Facebook is just a site. Getting removed from someone's Friends list really isn't much!