3 ways not to care what other people think of me

3 ways not to care what other people think of me
3 ways not to care what other people think of me
Anonim

While it is natural to care about what others think about you, you might feel overwhelmed and anxious if you worry too much and you will have a hard time being yourself. If you often feel upset or worried about what people around you think of you, you might focus on loving yourself instead. Reprogram your mind to focus on the important things in the moment instead of thinking about what others are thinking or saying. Finally, you must learn to use constructive criticism in a healthy way and to filter out unnecessary or too harsh criticism.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Improve your self-confidence

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 1

Step 1. List your strengths and successes

It's important to understand that your value comes from within so you learn not to care what other people think. You can boost your confidence and get a better idea of ​​your worth by making a list of positive things about yourself.

  • Your strengths may be traits of your personality (eg your kindness or patience) or skills you have (eg if you can cook well or drive well). Your successes could include many things, such as good grades, the end of a project, or a promotion at work.
  • If you're having trouble finding things to put on the list, ask a friend or loved one for help. You can also use a specialized website to get a better idea.
Not Care What Others Think of You Step 2

Step 2. Replace negative thoughts with more realistic ones

If you're used to ruminating on negative things or taking harsh criticism too much to heart, you could try practicing thinking more positively. When you notice your little negative inner voice, stop and examine those thoughts. Are they really realistic? If not, replace the negative thoughts with something more neutral and realistic.

  • For example, if you find yourself thinking that everyone hates you at your new school, you might be thinking instead that not everyone is going to like you, but that's okay. It is not possible to please everyone. If you make an effort to be nice and friendly, you'll find people you get along with.
  • Learn to accept your weaknesses in order to improve yourself.
Not Care What Others Think of You Step 3

Step 3. Commit to improving yourself

Everyone has flaws and that's okay. It is important to recognize your weaknesses in order to develop yourself. If you identify them yourself, you will see them as an opportunity to improve yourself instead of feeling sorry for yourself and worrying about what others will think of them. By taking action to improve yourself, you will help yourself to develop and worry less about what others think about you.

For example, if you are out of shape and that bothers you, you might set yourself some reasonable fitness goals, even if they aren't great to begin with. You could start by deciding to walk for half an hour a day, three days a week

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 4

Step 4. Be nice for no reason

Focusing more on others than on yourself will help you feel better about yourself. Make an effort every day to be kind and considerate to others, without worrying about making them happy or receiving something in return for your kindness. You will feel good, and even if others won't thank you or judge you fairly, you'll know you've done what you had to do.

Try to incorporate acts of kindness into your everyday life, even if they are small things, like holding the door open for someone or complimenting someone on their outfit

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 5

Step 5. Set limits with others

While it's important to be kind to others, that doesn't mean you should let them trample you on your toes. If you are not used to setting limits, it can be difficult at first. However, you will feel better about yourself and more secure in your relationships with others if you set firm limits on them.

  • Remember, sometimes you have the right to say no.
  • Be clear and direct with others about your limits, and let them know the consequences if they exceed those limits. For example: "Mom, I'm going to have to stop inviting you over if you argue with me about the way I raise my son every time you come over." "
  • You might have to face disagreements, anger, or resistance at first, especially if it's something new to those close to you. However, people who genuinely care about you are going to respect your limits, even if they don't really make them happy.
  • If someone consistently refuses to respect your boundaries, you may need to communicate with that person less often.

Method 2 of 3: Refocus your attention

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 6

Step 1. State what is worrying you

The fear of what others think about you might be difficult to deal with if it is large and vague. Try to think about what is really worrying you. This will help you calm your anxieties while moving you closer to an effective strategy for dealing with them.

For example, you might be generally afraid of people who judge you at work. Try to pinpoint your concerns in particular. Are you worried that your boss might not think you are productive enough? Worried about rumors your coworkers might discuss about you? Do you feel like you need more training and support in your job?

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 7

Step 2. Determine what is behind some fears

Once you've figured out what really worries you, think about where your fears are coming from. In some cases, you may find that your worries are not rational. However, it is also possible that you cling to worries that you learned from an early age. When you think about it, you might decide that your fears are unfounded.

  • For example, you might worry about the rest of your coworkers judging you because of your tattoos. If this is the kind of workplace where tattoos are considered inappropriate (such as in a law office), this could be a valid concern.
  • If you work in a more casual cafe where everyone has tattoos, you probably shouldn't worry about this. Ask yourself if your anxiety is not from some other source, for example things you heard your parents say as a child (“if you get tattoos nobody will trust you!”).
Not Care What Others Think of You Step 8

Step 3. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you become more aware of your surroundings, thoughts, and emotions at a certain point in time. By making an effort to do so, you will be helping yourself to ground yourself in the present moment instead of worrying about what might be happening or what others might be thinking.

  • If you find yourself worrying about what other people are thinking, gently bring your thoughts back to the present moment. Think about what you are doing, how you are feeling, and what you are trying to accomplish right now.
  • Acknowledge your feelings and thoughts without judging them. Just by being aware of what's going on in your head will help you recognize and deal with your anxiety more easily.
  • Try mindfulness meditation to help you get used to its practice. Find mindfulness meditation apps or find guided exercises online.
Not Care What Others Think of You Step 9

Step 4. Develop a strategy for dealing with the worst situations

Much of the anxiety you experience imagining what other people think comes from fear of what might be happening. You can alleviate some of these fears by finding a solution or a course of action in case the worst happens.

  • For example, you might think over and over again that you are going to miss your part in a group project and that other students are going to hate you. Ask yourself what you would do if you missed it. What are some things that would make you feel better? How can you prevent this from happening?
  • Even if the only solution that comes to you is to apologize, it's always a start. You will feel less helpless and anxious if you already have a backup plan in place.
Not Care What Others Think of You Step 10

Step 5. Distract yourself by taking action

One of the best ways to get over what others might think about you is to do something productive. By dealing with an important task, you will come to focus on what you are doing instead of wondering what others think about you. Here are some examples of things you could do.

  • You could finish a household chore or a project that you have left hanging.
  • You could volunteer for a cause you care about.
  • You can try to be nice to someone (for example, helping your neighbor mow the lawn).
  • Work on a hobby or creative project.
  • Spend quality time with someone you care about.

Method 3 of 3: Manage reviews

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 11

Step 1. Listen to criticism with an open mind

Criticisms are often painful, but it will be easier for you to deal with them if you see them as an opportunity to develop and improve yourself instead of seeing them as hurtful or disheartening comments. If someone criticizes you, listen actively before defending yourself. You might even find that what he says is helpful. Before you get angry or dismiss the criticism, consider the following things.

  • Source: Is the review coming from someone who generally supports you or whose opinion you respect?
  • The content: Did this person say something vague or insulting to you (for example “you are an idiot”) or did they point out something about your behavior and how Does this affect him (for example "when you arrive late, it distracts me and disturbs my work")?
  • The way: Did this person try to be tactful and give you constructive criticism or was they rude and harsh for no apparent reason?
Not Care What Others Think of You Step 12

Step 2. Reject criticisms and unfounded judgments

Just because someone has criticism for you doesn't mean they're necessarily right. Weigh his words carefully, and remember that you don't always have to take the opinions of others at face value.

For example, if someone tells you that you are lazy, but if you know that you are working the best you can, you should remember that. You might say to yourself, “I'm not lazy. I might not be able to do everything he does, but that's only because everyone is different. I'm doing my best and it's very good”

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 13

Step 3. Don't respond to judgments and criticisms

If someone says something mean about you, you might be tempted to answer them and hurt them too. However, this is not going to get you anywhere. Even if you don't feel good about what he just said, you'll feel better (and impress others at the same time) if you can turn the other cheek and respond with kindness and politeness.

  • Even if you don't agree with what that person said, you can still respond so that they understand that you heard them (only them, not their words). For example, you could say, “Thank you for your advice. I'll think about it ".
  • If the other person was trying to be mean to you, a kind response might confuse them and make them think about what they said to you. Even if that doesn't happen, you will still come out grown up.
Not Care What Others Think of You Step 14

Step 4. Realize that you are not in control of the opinions of others

If someone says or thinks something bad about you, it says more about that person than it does about yourself. You can't change what other people think of you, only they can. Remember, the best you can do is work hard at improving yourself and accept that you can never make everyone happy.

Not Care What Others Think of You Step 15

Step 5. Spend time with supportive people

It's going to be hard for everyone to feel good when you're around people who constantly belittle or pull us down. If there is someone in your life who constantly belittles you, judges you, exploits you, or breaks your boundaries, you should cut ties with that person. Try to spend time with people who respect you and give you love and support, even if they sometimes criticize you.

If you receive a lot of negativity from someone you can't really avoid, like a co-worker, try to minimize your time with that person as much as possible. Be polite or at least neutral in his presence, but do not seek his company

Advice

  • Try to focus on the positive side of people. If you don't want others to judge you too harshly, you need to do your best to offer them the same respect.
  • Don't get arrogant. Arrogance and disinterest are two completely different things.
  • Identify your irrational and illogical thoughts. They can prevent you from achieving your goals and lead you to self-destruct behaviors.
  • Focus on your flaws and try to correct them. Don't worry about what other people say about you. Tell them you don't care and focus on better things in life.

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