Lying can be a means of survival or can be used during a game of poker. It should never be used to break the law or endanger others. It can hurt and cause a lot of distress in others. While there are only rare occasions when lying is appropriate, you can hone your skills with a little practice and knowing what to avoid.
Part 1 of 3: prepare your lie
Step 1. Find a reason
Lie only when you have something to gain to motivate you. If you try not to make up a lie that is too blatant, people will be unable to distinguish right from wrong. Those who lie all the time, like pathological liars, cannot get away with it and live a life filled with so many lies with the risk of getting caught quickly. It's hard to remember all of your lies and your loved ones will start not trusting you if you get caught more than once.
Step 2. Lay the groundwork
Think about all the details before you tell a lie. Like everything else in life, practice leads to perfection. The more you tell the same lie, the more you will get used to telling it. It's hard to know if someone is making up a lie instantly, as the details get more and more blurry and nervousness sets in.
Step 3. Try to tell a false truth
It is easier to tell a lie when there is some degree of truth in your words. If you tell a false truth, the other person will think you are wrong, but not that you are lying. Avoid the other person asking you additional questions by incorporating real facts as much as possible into your story.
Step 4. Study your interviewer
Try to read your partner's mind. A skillful liar uses the same tools as a good communicator. So put yourself in the shoes of the listener and imagine what he wants to hear. To avoid details that could jeopardize your story, pay attention to everything he knows and learn about his interests and routine.
Step 5. Watch your body language
Lying makes us nervous and scared. Without knowing it, you may start to fidget, stutter or avoid the gaze of the other party who can detect all these non-verbal signals. Try to limit small spontaneous gestures that could contradict your personality.
To make up for lying, many people speak faster and avoid eye contact. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend to lie in a more natural way
Step 6. Consider the emotional context
A liar can memorize the details of their story, but can get caught when asked about the emotions they feel in a particular situation. He may also have a tendency to answer questions mechanically. So add an emotional dimension to your story.
Part 2 of 3: Avoid Compromising Body Language
Step 1. Relax your lips
Having your lips pressed together can make it look bad when you tell a lie. People usually contract their lips before saying anything unpleasant. If someone asks you a series of rather delicate questions, answer them by keeping your lips relaxed.
Step 2. Breathe calmly
If your breathing becomes faster or if you cause hyperventilation, it means that you are nervous or psychologically uncomfortable. Even a long, deep breath could be a sign that you are concentrating on pulling out a big lie.
Step 3. Don't touch your neck
Many people unconsciously touch the neck when they are nervous or anxious and more generally the hollow of the neck bone. Others tend to adjust the knot of their tie or fiddle with it.
Step 4. Turn your body towards your interlocutor
Controversial issues and difficult conversations can cause you to turn your body in other directions. For example, you can change your position slightly and divert attention away from your torso area. You can even create a barrier by crossing your legs, while maintaining eye contact. Keep your chest area facing the other person, especially if they start asking questions that force you to lie.
Step 5. Keep your hands away from your eyes
Many people scratch their eyes and adjust their glasses during difficult conversations. To avoid suspicion, keep your hands in a neutral and natural position while speaking.
Step 6. Keep your thumbs in sight
By hiding your thumbs or lowering them, you may appear to be anxious or not really involved in what you are saying. When people are more categorical in their opinions, they tend to keep their thumbs straight and splayed.
Step 7. Speak naturally
Changes in your voice and the way you speak can raise suspicion. Nervousness leads some people to speak faster, to have a high-pitched voice, or to have ideas tangled in their speech. Liars tend to repeat the same details over and over again to make them more convincing. Avoid repeating the same information when you want to express yourself naturally.
- Besides this tendency to repeat the same facts, liars also soften their tone of voice at the beginning and end of sentences to try and study the other person and see if they will believe their lie.
- It's hard to tell if someone is lying when they repeat the same information, especially when you are on the phone. He can sometimes have interference during conversations, which can cause the other person to repeat words.
Step 8. Evaluate the length of the breaks
Cultural context might determine how you use pauses during a conversation. However, interrupting your speech yourself can give the impression that you are picking up your thoughts and pulling out a big lie. For example, if you say an unnecessary sentence like this: “That's a good question,” the other person may think that you are trying to buy time to organize your ideas better and to launch into a lie.
Both dishonest and sincere people can take pauses when speaking, and this could be a difficult factor to interpret regardless of the context
Part 3 of 3: keep lying
Step 1. Stick to your version
Be consistent. Depending on the complexity of the lie, it can be difficult to keep everything in mind. It is therefore important to remember all the details, even if no one asks you to. Don't give different sides of the story to different people.
Step 2. Stay focused
You have to believe your lies. Any hesitation can instantly expose your lie. A lie can seem unpleasant when you use fear and guilt in your words. Body language and facial expressions can betray your true feelings when trying to end a lie. Therefore, you must act as if you are telling the truth.
Some people take pleasure in lying and show no remorse or feelings of shame. Since this is not a socially acceptable attitude, it is normal that you do not experience the slightest pleasure and have difficulty getting started
Step 3. Increase the pressure
If you are accused of lying, turn the tables and start manipulating your accuser. You might ask questions like these: "What were you doing there?" You do not trust me ? "I'm sure you wouldn't want your friends to know what you were up to lately.""
Step 4. Change the subject
Politicians use this technique to put a new spin on their conversation. People find it embarrassing to accuse others, which makes them readily accept the possibility of changing the subject. For example, if one questions the point of view of a politician on the economy, he could orient his speech on immigration. Likewise, if you are accused of going over curfew, try to lead the discussion on your brother driving without a license.
Step 5. Negotiate with your interlocutor
Deny responsibility by mitigating your lie or even ignoring the things you have been accused of and admit certain details that might meet your accuser's expectations. If you can blame yourself, you can also lessen the anger of the other person.
Step 6. Find out all the nuances
To unmask a liar, some people repeat the same question in different ways. Memorize not only the facts of the narration, but also the details in case the other person asks you very specific questions.
- To be a good liar you have to believe what you say.
- Keep it short when preparing your lies. The more complex they are, the more details you have to memorize.
- Lying can be dangerous and harmful and even get you into a lot of trouble if you get caught out.
- Don't lie to break the law or risk your life or the lives of others.