Nightlife can be a great way to relax and have fun. There is nothing wrong with having this experience, but sometimes you can have a hard time separating sex and emotions. However, if you give yourself the time to prepare yourself emotionally, you can have this kind of adventure and have fun with much more ease. If you still think about the person after a night out, there are steps you can take to deal with these emotions and move on, too.
Part 1 of 3: Manage your emotions
Step 1. Don't think of this as a way to have a relationship
Sometimes people mistakenly assume that one night stands are a good way to build a relationship, but it rarely happens. Instead, think of it as a way to satisfy your sexual urge, have fun, and enjoy life.
Are you looking to have a relationship with someone or have fun? If in fact you are looking for a relationship, do all you can to make that wish come true. You may get lucky after a one night stand that leads to something more serious, but if you don't, you are going to feel confused and regret
Step 2. Tell the person that you are not looking for anything serious
It might be a little awkward, but being blunt and telling them that you don't want to date someone right now is a good way to clarify your intentions. It also helps prevent things from getting weird afterwards.
- Don't worry. Before going to her house, tell her something like this: “I want to be honest with you so that there is no confusion. I want to go to your place, but I want nothing more than that. Does this suit you? "
- This way of proceeding avoids any illusion later on. If you tell the person this and they agree and don't want anything else either, you won't wonder if they wanted to have something more serious with you.
Step 3. Remember this is just for fun
If you end up having feelings that you don't want to have, try to remember that you only had a one-night stand because you wanted to do something you liked and not because you wanted to meet your partner. next partner.
Try to be grateful that you met a nice person and had a pleasant experience. Then forget about it all
Step 4. Think about why you want to have this adventure
Is it because you want to have sex or for some other deeper reason? Maybe you are feeling a little anxious and think that a night out with someone will help you feel more valued. The secret to such an adventure is to keep in mind that it is just for fun.
If it's because you want to feel wanted or needed, you might feel bad afterward. If so, it might be a good idea not to go there. Instead, do something that will help you feel good. Treat yourself to a facial or hit the gym. Having confirmation from someone else can do good in the very short term, but the only person who can really make you feel good about yourself is you
Part 2 of 3: Make it easy for yourself
Step 1. Keep it simple
When we talk about short-lived adventure, it is always better to keep things light and superficial so as not to fall in love. Avoid focusing too much on each other's values, personality, and interests. Try to find someone who you find physically attractive, but don't worry too much about their personality.
- Try to talk about things that are not too serious when you have a conversation. Flirt, talk about drinks, music, the weather and the evening's events. Avoid deep discussions like passions and values and more intimate questions.
- You can even try to find someone who you don't have much in common with or whose personality you don't like very much. Think about a time when you found someone physically attractive, but had no interest in seducing them because you didn't like their personality. He's the kind of person you should have a one-night stand with without the fear of falling in love.
Step 2. Don't spend the night at her house
If you end up going to the person's house, leave as soon as you're done. Spending the night with her will only create a false sense of intimacy, as you'll be sleeping together and you might even cuddle. When you leave, you don't have to look cold and indifferent. Just explain to him that you have a lot to do the next day and that you don't want to rush to leave in the morning.
- Realize that this doesn't mean you have to get up and run as soon as you're done. Stay with her for a while if that's okay with you. However, avoid spending hours in his house.
- If you are in your home, things can get a little more complicated. You can casually say that you have a very important meeting early in the morning so that she understands that she has to go. If she doesn't understand what you mean by that, be polite and let her stay if she wants to.
Step 3. Leave early in the morning
If you end up spending the night at her place, avoid spending the morning there. Limiting the time you have together to get to know each other better will prevent you from having feelings for her.
- Don't be rude. If she asks you to stay a while, find an excuse. Tell her that you have plans and that you need to leave so that you are not late. Say something like this: "thank you, this has been a very pleasant night" and go.
- If you think you'll end up spending the night at her place (for example, if it's too late), just say you have plenty to do the next day. Talk about it the night of the meeting so that she doesn't expect you to be there in the morning too.
Step 4. Do not exchange your contact details
If you want to avoid falling in love with someone after a one-night stand: the easiest way is to resist the temptation to exchange your contacts. Don't give him your contacts and don't ask for his.
- Also, avoid looking for their profile on social media. If that person finds you on social media, decline their friend request. It might sound too extreme, but limiting contact will make it easier for you if you don't want to experience romantic feelings.
- If she gives you her number without asking, delete it as soon as you can. This way you avoid being rude, but you also eliminate any chance of coming into contact with her.
- If she sends you a friend request and you don't want to decline without any explanation, send a quick message saying "thanks for the request!" I had a lot of fun with you, but I don't want things to get any more serious than that. I wish you the best ! "
Step 5. Cancel the appointment
If you don't think you can avoid romantic feelings for the person and you don't want to deal with them, it is best not to have this kind of experience.
That doesn't mean it's wrong to have a one-night stand, but if you're sad afterwards, it might not be worth it
Part 3 of 3: Forget this adventure
Step 1. Don't be friends with this person on social media
If you haven't checked out their social media profile, don't. If you've already done so and sent a friend request, delete it from your contacts. Having access to his page will only make you sadder.
Likewise, if you have their contact details, delete them. This way, you will no longer be able to contact her to find out if she likes you
Step 2. Never date her again
Say "no" if you decide not to delete her contact details or if she contacts you about a new adventure. You may think this is a good idea at the time, but it will only make your situation worse.
You will probably try to convince yourself that it is a good idea to get back together. For example, if she calls you and asks you to visit her, you might say something like this: "if I date her again, I will get rid of these feelings" or "I might realize that she is. is not even that attractive. These things are unlikely to turn out to be true
Step 3. Remember it was just for fun
Think of this adventure as a learning experience. Maybe with this one-off adventure, you've learned that it's not that easy for you to have casual sex without having feelings. Now you know it's not something to be taken lightly, and that's okay too.
Try to see it as a learning experience. For example, you had a good time with an attractive person or had sexual experiences. You have to put up with the fallout from that night, but that doesn't mean it has to become a bad memory
Step 4. Think about the aspects that suit you the least
When you have feelings for someone, especially at first, it's easy to ignore aspects that are incompatible with your personality. Since your goal is to forget about the other, try to focus on the differences between your personalities, your lifestyles, your interests and so on. It can help you realize that a relationship with him wouldn't work out very well.
- For example, maybe you don't like his personality, lifestyle, or other aspects of his life, such as being a very shy person when you like going out and meeting people.
- Try to be as honest as possible when thinking about the differences between the two of you.
Step 5. Take an interest in serious relationships
It is often recommended that you wait a while to heal after a breakup, but in this case, you haven't ended any relationship. So there is no reason not to seek a more serious relationship. This will help you realize that this evening has been enjoyable, but that it doesn't necessarily involve love.
- If you don't know where to start, you can try meeting people on the Internet.
- Ask your friends if they know of anyone you could date.
- Do an activity that you enjoy and that also gives you the opportunity to meet new people. For example, volunteer for a cause that's important to you. If you are a believer, become an active member of your church or mosque. You will find people who share the same values as you.
If you are going out with the intention of having casual sex, keep a kit that contains things like a condom (even if you are female), clean underwear, and maybe a toothbrush and deodorant. travel size
- While there is nothing wrong with having a one-off if you both want it, it is still important to use condoms to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. Do not accept any excuse for not using a condom.
- Make sure you both agree and feel safe. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, it's okay to say "no".