Subcultures, for example the Gothic subculture, can be difficult for people outside of them to understand. If you find yourself attracted to a goth girl, you might not know what to say to her. However, Goths are human beings like any other. By having a better understanding of the subculture and learning how to send it the right signals, you could be able to interest and seduce it in no time!
Part 1 of 3: Understanding the Gothic subculture
Step 1. Understand what it means
A better knowledge of the subculture will allow you to better respect its beliefs. This understanding will also help you connect and find commonalities between her beliefs and yours. The definition of "Gothic" can change from group to group and region to region, but there are three basic elements of Gothic culture: the social component, the personality, and the music.
- The social component allows individuals who believe in the same thing, in this case Gothics, to come together in communities and share ideas. This could include places like Gothic cafes, clothing stores, second-hand stores, clubs, stores specializing in the sale of religious objects, music stores, etc.
- The Gothic personality usually consists of a heightened sense of individuality directed strongly towards appreciation of the dark side of things, the supernatural, dark beauty and aesthetics, the arts, emotions, mystery and drama.
- Gothic music is an important part of their culture. Music serves as the center around which the social component revolves. This kind of music tends to have a strange or unreal tone. Gothic groups usually write songs around Gothic themes, for example the grotesque and the mysterious, and they could reproduce styles of the Gothic, for example by dressing in black.
Step 2. Identify common Gothic features
There is no rule that says what to wear, how to behave, or what to listen to to identify with this subculture. Chances are that not all of the common gothic characteristics apply to your friend. However, by learning more, you can prepare to compliment her on her looks and personality that she puts a lot of effort into. Here are several things you can notice to compliment her.
- Her style: this can include the type or color of clothes she wears. You can also compliment her on her accessories, especially the ones that stand out. Pay special attention to certain accessories like nets, capes, spikes, ankh crosses, chokers, etc.
- Make-up: Goths tend to appreciate the contrast obtained by mixing white and black and to achieve this effect they often wear light make-up with darker touches on the lips and eyes. Compliment her on her makeup and show her your interest by asking her how she manages to have perfect makeup every day.
- Her musical tastes: You could discuss the music she likes and her favorite bands. You could also show her your interest by asking questions about the things she likes most about certain bands.
Step 3. Read Gothic literature
Gothic fascination with darkness and the supernatural make vampire, fantasy, horror, and sci-fi books popular genres in this community. By reading these novels, you will have a topic of conversation with the gothic girl you are interested in and at the same time you will be able to learn more about the popular themes of the subculture. If you don't really like reading novels, you can also try to find gothic comics.
Dracula, by Bram Stoker
1984, by George Orwell
Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
Hell, by Dante Alighieri
Most of Edgar Allen Poe's novels
The Sandman, by Neil Gaiman
The Crow, by James O'Barr
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, by Jhonen Vasquez
Step 4. Familiarize yourself with Gothic media
Many filmmakers and musicians identify with this subculture or are held in high esteem by the Gothic community. Some directors, for example Tim Burton, and some labels, for example Cleopatra, Projekt and Anubis, are considered to be more representative of the Gothic subculture. This kind of media is a great way to gain a better understanding of the Gothic aesthetic while learning more about the themes of this subculture.
Popular Gothic Movies:
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
The strange Christmas of Mr. Jack
Popular gothic music groups:
The Sisters of Mercy
Part 2 of 3: Communicate your interest verbally
Step 1. Ask him questions about his interests
Just because she's gothic doesn't mean she doesn't have other passions or hobbies. You might find that you have more in common than you thought! Ask him questions about the following topics:
- his favorite TV shows
- the courses she takes
- his activities during his free time
- the places she likes to go
Step 2. Be open to new things
The Gothic subculture might seem a little strange to you at first, which might make you feel uncomfortable. Try not to judge her. After all, goths are people like you and they are just looking for a place where they can be accepted and loved for their lifestyle and beliefs. There is a good chance that goths feel as uncomfortable in their everyday life as you feel uncomfortable in their world.
- Try to understand how she thinks. Listen to her and discuss the topics she brings up. You don't have to force yourself to think the same, but you should respect her point of view and show her that you care about the things she finds important.
- You might be tempted to behave in the way that you find most attractive to her. It's natural, but you're going to start to feel like it's not you who she likes, but your character. You are only going to create difficulty in this relationship with her if you pretend to be someone that you are not. Avoid pretending.
Step 3. Make sure you understand correctly
When chatting with her, try to summarize what she is saying by rephrasing it in your own words and ask her if you have understood correctly. This is a great way to make her feel that you really understand what she is saying, which could create more emotional honesty between you. As your relationship grows stronger, so too may her feelings for you.
In addition to helping you create an open atmosphere between you and her, this technique will also help you avoid any misunderstanding. If you regularly check to make sure you understand what she is saying, there is little risk that you will get something wrong
Step 4. Engage in the conversation
Invest in what she's saying by asking her questions. When she says something, you can ask her why she thinks that way and what brought her to that conclusion. Don't get distracted by other people, your phone, or what's going on around you. Showing her that she has your undivided attention is also letting her know that you care about her.
Turn off your phone before going to meet her. Even if you're having a good time, you might make him think you're not interested in the conversation if you indulge in your habit of checking your phone every ten seconds or fiddling with it reflexively
Part 3 of 3: Communicate your interest physically
Step 1. Take care of your hygiene
This is a very important point if you want to seduce a girl you like. Whether she's gothic or not, you aren't going to please her if you smell bad! Take a daily shower, put on deodorant, wear clean clothes, brush your teeth, and style your hair.
You don't have to imitate the Gothic style to please it. She might even be looking for someone who complements her style rather than someone who emulates her. If so, you might elicit her admiration if you are NOT gothic. The most important thing is to nurture a sense of connection between you
Step 2. Point your toes towards her
Body language can convey a lot of information to the people you interact with. Even if she is not aware of it, she will understand your gestures and your posture in one way or another. If you orient your body towards her, for example by pointing your toes, body and hands in her direction, she will feel that you are interested in her.
Avoid crossing your arms. This will close your body and she might feel like you don't want to open up. Try to keep gestures open
Step 3. Look her in the eye
It could be very difficult if you are feeling nervous, but if you hold her gaze she might start to see you as a potential partner. In addition to arousing her romantic interest, you could nurture a healthy and fulfilling relationship by making a habit of looking her in the eye.
- Be careful not to daydream while looking at her! If you do, she might think you're bored. To avoid staring blankly, you need to think about the things you love most about her while looking her in the eye.
- You can also use other techniques to get a warm look as you look her in the eye. She might also feel more comfortable in a room, restaurant, or cafe where the light is dimmed, which will help you seduce her.
Step 4. Smile at him
When you smile at her, you naturally look more attractive. Good humor is also contagious, if you spend enough time smiling at her, she will associate you with a good time when she had fun.
Maybe you should practice smiling to achieve something that feels satisfying to you. Practice smiling in front of the mirror every day to strengthen your facial muscles so that you are always ready to smile at her as soon as she enters your visual field
- Remember that gothic girls aren't necessarily easy girls. It is often a cliché associated with the Gothic subculture. The Gothic style has no relation to the sexual preferences of the individual. If you like a gothic girl because you think she'll easily accept your advances, you shouldn't even go talk to her.
- All the girls are different and the Gothic subculture could even vary from region to region. The girl you are interested in might also not meet the general characteristics of the Gothic subculture.
- Remember, while Gothics look terrifying, they're usually no different from other people you meet in your day-to-day life.