So, there is a special person at work or at university who has been occupying your thoughts lately. If you feel like spending time with her, sooner or later you should talk to her. You don't have to have an anxiety attack while you are doing it. With a few good tips, you can control your nervousness while talking to him.
Part 1 of 2: keep your cool
Step 1. Talk to your friends about the person you have feelings for
Remember that avoiding talking about your feelings won't make things easier. Your close friends can be trusted advisors to help you know how to handle this situation. Even if you don't follow the advice they give you, just talking about it is going to help get rid of this major source of emotional stress, so talk to them!
Another benefit of being able to talk with friends is that the conversation can propel you into action. Once they know you have feelings for them, they can subtly push you to take action. This can be very helpful if you are lacking in self-confidence
Step 2. Don't be alone with your loved one at first
You have to go slowly to be able to face him. In other words, at the beginning you should try to limit the time you spend together one-on-one. Prefer group outings. It will be much easier for you to seduce him / her if you have your friends nearby. Being in the company of people you already know will also make you more comfortable to the point of making the conversation natural.
Try to spend more time alone with him gradually. After all, if you're in the mood for things to change between you, you will inevitably have to spend some time alone with him (her)
Step 3. Remember that he (she) is a human being like you
Try not to think of him as perfect or inaccessible because he is not. Indeed, he has faults, is afraid of certain things and makes mistakes like everyone else. Believing that he's better than others will only make it difficult for you to keep your cool when you're together.
If you find that you are very nervous when you are around her, try to remember something that she did wrong. It can be anything, like getting it wrong, making a mistake at a football game, or inadvertently doing something embarrassing. It's a good way to remember that she's far from perfect, even if it doesn't always look like it
Step 4. Maintain good self-esteem
Staying calm when around isn't just about controlling thoughts and attitudes. It is also about how you feel about yourself. Know that it is you who are the most important part in the interactions you have with him (her). If you start to think of something like, "she will be lucky if she's with me" and not the other way around, you will find that it will be much easier to talk to her.
This is the kind of thinking that will also protect you if you find out that the one you love turns out to be a bad person. If you are devoted to him / her from the start, he / she may end up trying to take advantage of your kindness, he (she) may end up trying to take advantage of your kindness. On the other hand, if you have respect for yourself, you will not accept any kind of disrespect from him
Part 2 of 2: Knowing what to avoid
Step 1. Don't overdo the attention you give it
Just because you can talk to him doesn't mean you should always. Remember that the person you have feelings for is like you. In other words, he or she has other responsibilities that take up most of his or her day. Texting him, talking to him and calling him 24/7, you will quickly become annoying in his eyes.
Usually, a good rule of thumb is to end the conversation a little earlier than you think. Not only will this save you from long and awkward conversations, it will also make her want to chat with you again
Step 2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes every now and then
Everyone makes mistakes, including yourself and your loved one. You don't have to worry about using a word incorrectly or making an embarrassing slip in front of it. These things happen from time to time during normal conversations. Try to laugh at your mistake and move on. If you feel like your mistake offended him, apologize and change the subject. In fact, stress will only draw attention to any awkwardness.
Step 3. Try to control your anxiety
A conversation with the one you have feelings for isn't the most important thing in the world, whether everything is going well or not. Fortunately, there are a few strategies you can use to try and calm yourself down a bit if you're feeling very anxious.
- You can take a break during the conversation to try to get out of this difficult situation. In this case, you can tell a little lie. You could say something like “sorry, I have to go to the bathroom” that works well.
- Let your emotions run free. If you are sad and need to cry, go to a private place and cry. In case you're angry, try slapping a pillow.
- Do deep breathing exercises. Your heart rate will slow down and you will be able to better control your emotions.
- Once you are ready, go back to what you were doing with your head held high.
Step 4. Avoid being shy when expressing your feelings
The fact that you love someone is great, but keeping it a secret is not. If you really like her, tell the truth about how you feel. Talking to her openly about your feelings can lead to a relationship, but even if it doesn't, you'll at least be relieved that you've let your emotions out. To find out exactly what to do, read this article.
Realize that the feeling you have for him may not be mutual. If he says, "I'm flattered by what you tell me, but I think we should just stay good friends," say "sure" and go
- To relieve your nervousness when you are near him (her), practice in front of the mirror. Pay attention to your tone of voice and your body language. Keep your back straight, your head up, and a smile on your face.
- When you realize that he / she is sad for some reason or another, try to help him / her through the situation in question.
- If he's acting immature, he's probably not ready for a relationship.
- Don't try to be a very sweet person in front of him (her). Be his friend first. After that, gradually show him your interest.