Have you ever been to a restaurant or cafeteria and been attracted to a waitress? Was she charming, attractive, friendly and flirtatious? Is it possible that he likes you? Inviting a waitress out is always risky, as it complicates what is usually a simple business interaction. How do you know if she acts like this or not with all clients? Try to be a perfect gentleman if you plan to invite him out on a date with politeness, discretion and kindness and above all, don't be rude.
Part 1 of 3: make a good impression
Step 1. Flirt in a subtle way
The waitresses deal with the reckless men every month, every week and maybe every shift. Being very enthusiastic, daring, and forceful in your advances can cause him to get on the defensive even before you attempt anything. She might think you are one of THESE men, which will ruin your goal.
- A rude might say, “Hey! What time do you finish work? This sentence is not only bad, but also obnoxious, making it seem like you will be expecting it when the establishment closes.
- Don't be so overwhelming or obnoxious. Instead, try to strike up a conversation with her by saying, “This is my first time coming here. Wow, are there always so many people on Tuesdays? "
Step 2. Be polite
Just like with a flirt, you need to be a gentleman and behave in the best way. Make it clear that you are kind, respectful, and considerate, and that you are not obnoxious. Use the usual courtesy methods you use in other social situations.
- Say please and thank you. A waitress is there to take care of you, but she is still a person and should be treated as such. This is just a normal act of kindness.
- Don't call her sweetheart or give her any other nickname, as that is condescending. Also avoid staring at it. She might be very pretty, but doing so might make her uncomfortable.
- Avoid complaining about the restaurant. Your waitress did not write the menu, nor set the prices, nor did the decoration. Nor is it responsible for monitoring the number of people attending the establishment. Complaining will only discourage her.
- Nonetheless, you can try to empathize with her. If, for example, the restaurant is crowded, express your solidarity by saying: “It's really busy tonight. It would be really nice if the establishment would help you more with the tables. "
Step 3. Order what she recommends
Your waitress knows the menu like the back of her hand. She knows what is good, what is such and such and what ends up in the trash. Ask him for recommendations. She will notice this and show you a good meal. It shows a degree of trust and steers the conversation towards it.
Likewise, don't order something that isn't on the menu and ask her to make changes. It will make his job more difficult and boring
Step 4. Talk about something other than food
She has been talking about the food all day. Start the discussion with something more interesting, whether it's you or her. Try to sound really interesting.
- Do not talk about the restaurant's beef supplier or the wholesale price at which the establishment buys vodka.
- Talk a bit about your personality or at least hint at it. Waitresses are often courted and while they always have a friendly attitude about it, they can reject you if they don't know you so well.
- At the same time, steer the conversation towards it. You will appear egocentric if you only talk about yourself. Empathetic people ask questions and listen to others.
Step 5. Give a good tip
Remember that tips make up about 85% of a waitress' total pay. This act is not only courteous, but it also shows that you have good manners, that you are confident, friendly and interested.
- Tip what you can afford, but don't be stingy. You will make a good impression if you are generous.
- A reasonable tip is to round up the amount of the bill. Try to give at least ten percent to make a good impression.
Part 2 of 3: Avoid Common Mistakes
Step 1. Don't monopolize his attention
Remember, the waitress works and earns a living. It must also serve other tables. If you try to get her attention very often, she will get angry immediately.
- Remember, she might have a lot to do. You might be kind enough to acknowledge that by saying, “I don't want to hold you back for long. I can see you have a lot of work to do! "
- Remember that she might have problems with her employer if she spends too much time with you.
Step 2. Avoid sexual advances
Nothing will spoil your efforts to gain the affection of your waitress but suggestive or rough advances. Remember to make a better impression and be polite, in addition to being a gentleman. You are in a restaurant and not in a nightclub or a fraternity house.
- It is not okay for you to touch her or make unwanted advances on her. This applies not only to the waitress who serves you, but to all women. Don't make sexual comments, gestures or jokes.
- Alcohol may lower your inhibitions and make you say things that you will regret. Be careful not to overdo your flirtation if you drink too much.
- Just like in all social situations, if she asks you to stop doing something, respect her decision.
Step 3. Don't abuse hospitality
Your first thought may be that the waitress will have more time and be more willing to take on a date if you wait until she's finished working. This kind of thinking is wrong. On the contrary, it sounds scary. You need to know when it's time to go.
- It's very likely that your waitress won't want to join you for a drink or coffee right after her shift. It is very likely that she will want to go home. You'd better use the moment she's serving you to invite her, make advances, and move on.
- If she notices you like her, sticking around for hours will become more of a distraction and a nuisance for her.
Step 4. Don't necessarily invite her the first time you see her
You don't have to act on your first impulse if you strike up an interesting conversation with the waitress and feel a connection. Take your time and try to go there every now and then if it's a good location.
- Forge mutual recognition. It can be a good sign if she notices your passing through the establishment or greets you.
- It's okay to be a regular customer, but avoid frequenting the restaurant too often so you don't sound like a stalker. If you always eat at the same table and always smile at her, she may be scared.
Part 3 of 3: Take Action
Step 1. Build good rapport
Try to get to know her using the techniques mentioned. Talk to her every time you go to a restaurant to eat or drink something. If possible, get to know her while presenting yourself in a discreet manner. This way, your invitation won't appear to be from a stranger.
Try to sit down at one of the tables she serves. Look for signs that show she's already in a relationship, such as a ring on her left hand
Step 2. Leave a note on a napkin
One way to ask her on a date without being embarrassed by potential rejection is to leave a note on the side of a napkin. After paying the bill, write down your name and phone number and leave. If she likes you, she will call you. A note will put the ball in his court and spare him the pressure or the need to make a hasty decision.
- Be brief and to the point by saying, “You seem to be a caring person and I would like to know you better. Would you like to have coffee with me one of these four? »End the note with your name and phone number.
- Put a good tip in a fold of the napkin so that the money is visible. Make sure she notices this before someone else can take it.
- Use a clean towel if you decide to do it this way.
Step 3. Leave a note in the bill holder
In this case, leave your note in the bill holder with the payment and tip. Using the same approach, insert a brief date invitation and add your name and phone number. Then leave the restaurant, otherwise it will only make her uncomfortable.
- Unlike the napkin, the bill holder must be very discreet and secure. In many restaurants there is an unwritten rule that waiters should only remove bill holders from tables they have served.
- If there is space on the invoice, leave a message directly on it. Otherwise, use a napkin.
- Try to phrase the invitation without pressure and in a friendly manner, “To my lovely waitress. I apologize for my daring, but I would love to invite you out. [Your phone number]. Call me one of these four. I will be very happy to hear from you. "
Step 4. Leave him a note with the tip
This tactic involves passing the bill directly to the waitress while you are leaving. Do this boldly while making sure to grab his attention. Place the tip in a folded piece of napkin with the message on it.
- You can write “(your name and phone number). Would you like to dine with me one of these four? Call me if you're up for it. I will be delighted to hear from you! "
- Give her the message as you walk out the door and say "this is for you."
Step 5. Accept the rejection
Your approach may not work. It is possible that she is only friendly with you, married or in a relationship. Either way, don't keep trying. Accept the rejection and move on.
- The good thing about the invitation note is that it's unobtrusive and doesn't create any pressure. If you've invited her with a note, you'll know whether or not she's interested in her response. The ball is in his court.
- Don't be discouraged if you try everything mentioned here and the girl doesn't call you. After all, you would have tried, because a lot of men won't!