How to comfort someone who is sad

How to comfort someone who is sad
How to comfort someone who is sad

You might feel helpless when you want to comfort someone who is sad. Most of the time, there is nothing you can physically do to help that person. The most important thing you can do, however, is be available and listen to her.


Part 1 of 3: Knowing what to say

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 1

Step 1. Start the conversation

Show the person who is sad that you are there and ready to listen. If you don't know this person well, you might wonder why you want to help them.

  • For example, if you know her, you could say, “I see you're having a bad time. Do you want to talk about it? If she doesn't want your company, that's okay. You shouldn't force her to stay with you if she doesn't want to see you!
  • If you don't know her well, you could say, “Hi, my name is John. I study here too and have seen you cry. I know we don't know each other, but if you want, I'm here to listen to you. "
Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 2

Step 2. Tell him what you think

You might be tempted to beat around the bush if you already know what's going on. If this person has lost a loved one or just broke up with their loved one, you might think it's best not to tell them about the real problem to avoid making them feel even more painful. However, this person already knows what is wrong and has probably already given some thought to the situation. By asking her clear questions, you show her that you care about her and that you are ready to deal with the problem without taking her with a grain of salt, which will surely give her some relief.

For example, you could say to him, “I heard that your father passed away today. It must be really hard. Would you like to talk about it? "

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 3

Step 3. Ask her how she feels

You can help her start the conversation by asking her how she feels. In any situation, a person will experience many emotions, even in sad times, which is why you could help them by letting them talk to you about how they are feeling.

For example, if a member of her family died after a long illness, obviously she would feel sad. But she might also feel a little relieved because the illness is over, but also a little guilty because of her feeling of relief

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 4

Step 4. Keep it in the center of your attention

It might be tempting to compare what is happening to her with something similar that has happened to you in the past. However, when someone is sad, they don't always want to hear about similar experiences you've had. He wants to talk to you about what's happening to him now.

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 5

Step 5. Don't try to make the conversation more positive

It's natural to want to cheer him up by trying to see the bright side of things. However, when you do, you might quickly pass over his problem and he'll think the feelings he's having right now aren't important. Just listen to him without trying to get him to see the positive side of things.

  • For example, try not to say, "well, at least you're still alive", "it's not that bad after all" or "go ahead, smile!" "
  • If you have to say something, try phrases like, “You have the right to feel bad, you are having a hard time. "

Part 2 of 3: Learn to Listen Carefully

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 6

Step 1. Understand that the other wants to be heard

Most of the time, people who are crying or sad need someone to listen to them. Try not to cut him off or offer solutions.

You might suggest some towards the end of the conversation, but at the beginning you just need to listen

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 7

Step 2. Show him that you understand him

You can show him that you are listening carefully by repeating what he says to you. For example: “If I understand correctly, you are sad because your friend was not giving you enough attention."

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 8

Step 3. Don't get distracted

Concentrate on what he is saying. Turn off the television. Look up from your phone.

To stay focused, you should also try not to daydream. Also, don't sit around wondering what you're going to say to him. Instead, understand what he is telling you

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 9

Step 4. Use your body language to show him that you are listening

Look him in the eye. Nod his head as he speaks. Smile at her at the right times or show your concern by frowning.

Also keep open body language. Do not cross your arms and legs and turn your body towards the person you are chatting with

Part 3 of 3: End the conversation

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 10

Step 1. Recognize your helplessness

Most people feel helpless in the face of a friend who is going through a difficult time. It's a natural feeling and you are probably not going to know what to say to her. However, sometimes it is enough to simply recognize them and tell the other person that you are there for them.

For example, you could say, “I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't really know what to say to make you feel better and I know that no words could get there. But I want you to know that I'm here if you need me. "

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 11

Step 2. Offer to hug you

If you feel comfortable enough to do so, offer to give her a hug. It's always better that you ask first, as some people might not like this kind of physical contact, especially after trauma.

For example, you could say, “I'd love to hug you. Would you like to ? "

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 12

Step 3. Ask him questions about the following

While there may not always be a solution to this person's problem, sometimes you could help them feel better by making a plan. Now is a good time to come up with solutions if she looks like she has no ideas. If she has any, you can encourage her to tell you about it or talk to you about what she wants to do.

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 13

Step 4. Discuss the possibility of therapy

If your friend is going through a very difficult time, you can ask them if they need to discuss it with a professional. Unfortunately, going to a therapist is still frowned upon, but if your friend is really having a hard time going through this situation, it might be worth talking to a professional who is used to this genre. of situations.

Obviously, it is not normal that this is frowned upon. You should even convince your friend that it's okay to talk to a counselor about it. You'll fight social stigma by letting him know that you won't change your mind about him just because he needs help

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 14

Step 5. Ask him what you can do

Whether he wants to talk to you every week or just needs to see you at lunch every now and then, you could still help him. You could also help him by offering him a hand with difficult tasks, for example by accompanying him to obtain a death certificate for one of his relatives. Start the conversation to find out if he needs anything in particular.

If he seems reluctant to ask you for help, make concrete suggestions. For example, you could say, “I wish I could help you. I can take you somewhere if you need to or I can go shopping for you if you want. Just tell me what you need. "

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 15

Step 6. Be sincere

If you offer to help a friend, you should be sure to help when the opportunity arises. For example, if you say to him: “don't hesitate to call me so that we can speak to each other anytime”, you must give him your time when he calls you. Likewise, if you are going to do something, like driving him to his consultations, you need to be available when he needs you.

Comfort Someone Who Is Sad Step 16

Step 7. Check that all is well

Most people have a hard time asking for help when they need it, especially emotional help, so you should remember to contact them every now and then to see how they are doing. It is important that you are available if necessary.

Popular by topic