Being considerate is taking the time to think about how other people are feeling. To be truly considerate, you need to know how to put yourself in someone's shoes, be tactful, and be kind and generous. Sometimes we can be so focused on our needs and wants that we can forget that there are other people with us and that they may be offended by our actions. Choosing to be considerate can help us consider those around us while asserting our needs.
Part 1 of 3: have a caring mindset
Step 1. Put yourself in people's shoes
Before talking to your friends, coworkers, neighbors, or teachers, ask yourself how the person must be feeling right now. Maybe you just can't stand your roommate anymore and want to tell her that she's too messy, or you want to tell your friend to stop calling you so often. In short, before expressing what you are feeling, you must first ask yourself how the other person might react and put you in their state of mind. While you don't have to totally change what you want to say to make others happy, taking their state of mind into consideration can help you articulate what you want to say better while avoiding hurting the person.
- Maybe your roommate is really messy, but she's also the one doing the shopping. You have to find a way to compliment her qualities as well as her flaws so that she doesn't get on the defensive or think you don't like her as a roommate.
- Maybe your friend calls too often because she's never felt so lonely since the separation. You can still say what is important to you, but take their feelings into account and put yourself in their shoes before expressing yourself.
Step 2. Anticipate the needs of others
Part of caring is knowing what people need before they even know it. If you are going to lunch with your coworkers, put enough towels down for everyone, if you are going to the beach with friends take an extra umbrella for them. If you know your husband will be home late from work, give him his share of dinner in the fridge. Paying attention to people's needs before they even know it so you can be truly caring.
- People will be grateful and touched by your attention.
- You shouldn't expect anything in return, just because you genuinely want to help people.
Step 3. Be considerate when you are in a public place
Many people tend not to think of those around them when they are outdoors or in a public place. The next time you're outside, think about how this might be perceived by other people and think about their reactions. You might think that talking on the phone out loud with your best friend in a coffee shop where everyone is trying to study is harmless, when in reality it can infuriate the people around you. Here are some other ways you can tell if you are being considerate in a public place.
- Try to keep your voice volume at a normal level when you are on the phone or talking to friends.
- Avoid taking up too much space.
- If you are in class, avoid making noise while unpacking your things or moving around so much that you end up disturbing others.
- Watch where you are going instead of walking and writing a message at the same time.
Step 4. Pay attention to other people's financial situations
Before asking your friends or people you know to pay for something, you should consider their financial situation as much as possible. If your friend is broke, don't suggest dining at the finest place in town, invite them instead. You might not take this into consideration because you can afford it, but you probably don't want to put other people in sticky situations because they can't afford it. Here are a few examples that will help you pay attention to people's finances.
- If you are celebrating your wedding, think about your guests. Can your maid of honor afford a 150 € dress or a trip to Tahiti for a bachelorette party? Do your guests really have the means to fly over the country to pay homage to you? It stands to reason that this is your wedding, but you need to make sure that those asked do not have to empty their bank accounts to participate.
- If you are going out with people who are not very fortunate, find inexpensive activities such as going to an inexpensive cafe or going to watch a comedy movie at the movies rather than going to a party or the theater. Don't embarrass people by making them realize that they can't afford to go out.
Part 2 of 3: Be considerate during conversations
Step 1. Pick the right time
Choosing the best time to say something is part of benevolence. Even the most innocuous comment can turn offensive if you say it at the wrong time. Make sure that the person or people you are talking to are receptive to your comment, that you don't interrupt anything or cause complications with what you say. Here are some tips to help you choose the right time.
- For example, you have some really good news to share such as being hired. This news can be perfect for brunch with your friends, but if your coworker is talking about her mother's funeral then you should definitely put it off.
- Likewise, if you have bad news to share, make sure the person is in the same state of mind as well. If your friend is talking about her pregnancy, now is probably not the time to announce that you just broke up.
- If you have to blame a coworker, make sure the person isn't caught off guard. Pick a special time to talk to her instead of blaming anytime, when the person least expects it.
Step 2. Choose your words carefully
If you want to be caring, you need to know that the words you use are just as important as the message you are trying to get across. If you want people to be receptive and not grieve, then choose the words you use carefully. While you are trying to delicately scold or praise someone, it's important to remember that words matter. Here are some criteria to consider when choosing your words.
- Even if you make a complaint, you can express it delicately. You can tell a coworker that they can be 'more efficient' instead of telling them that they are 'slow' or you can tell a needy best friend that she is bothering you rather than bothering you. tell her that she is "clingy" and "lacking in affection." "
- You can also make your message seem less offensive if you don't directly use the "you" all the time. For example instead of telling your sweetheart that he is "paranoid" you can say, "I am concerned about the lack of trust in our relationship. This helps get the message across without your darling feeling like he's being pointed at.
Step 3. Don't monopolize the floor
Another thing that careless people tend to do is talk endlessly without realizing that other people might not care. If you have a great story to tell, that's one thing, but if you're always the one to talk over and over again and don't let others put one in, it's definitely lacking in caring. The next time you speak, whether in a group or with one person, compare your amount of speaking to that of others. Make sure you have given other people a chance to talk, ask them how they are doing and how they feel, and show attention.
- If you're having a little chat with a friend in the hallways or over lunch, make sure you've been able to check in on each other. If you tell your friend about your whole day, plus what you're going to do next weekend and then leave, that's not being paying attention.
- You should also be considerate when choosing the topic of the conversation. Do your coworkers really want to hear about the story you had with your best friend when they've never met him? Would your best friend like to listen to you for hours on end talking about the reunion you had at work?
Step 4. Be grateful
Sincerely thanking people for what they have done for you is also being caring. Whether it was for something important like staying for three weeks while you were looking for an apartment or for something less important like bringing you a coffee. No matter how big the act, it's crucial to thank people in order to show them that you appreciate them and that they understand that you don't just expect people to be nice to you. Make eye contact and give the person your full attention when you say “thank you” to show them that you really mean it.
- If you've been staying with your host longer than expected or someone or a friend has done something great for you, give them a gift basket to thank them. Sometimes the simple act of saying “thank you! " not enough.
- Make a habit of writing thank you cards to show your appreciation, it's a mark of attention that tends to get overlooked.
- You can also go beyond just saying “thank you” and explaining how much this act touched you. You can say something like, “Jackie, thank you so much for cooking for me the other night. I was so stressed from work that day, thanks to you I was able to relax. "
Step 5. Apologize when you make a mistake
Even caring people can have flaws. If you've made a mistake whether it's because you hurt someone deeply, or accidentally pushed someone around, be sure to apologize for your actions. Don't just say "sorry" and look away like you don't care. Take the trouble to make eye contact expressing how sorry you are and that it won't happen again. Assuming your responsibilities is much more benevolent than minimizing it and telling yourself that it will go away on its own. Although apologizing can be unpleasant, the other person will appreciate the gesture.
Caring people know when to apologize because they know when they've hurt someone, even if it wasn't their intention. If you've hurt someone, don't say something like, “I'm sorry you took the wrong that…” These kinds of expressions tend to blame the other person and take no responsibility
Step 6. Be tactful
Being tactful is a big part of being benevolent. Being tactful is knowing how to raise a point without offending the people around us, but that doesn't mean you have to lie to express it. To be tactful is to know how to make comments or criticisms in a kind and considerate manner while getting the message across. You also need to listen and pay attention to the people around you so that you can be sure that they will be receptive.
- If you end up offending people, they will be much less receptive to your criticism. Giving information more nicely will be more pleasant for people and it will make them want to change, it's a win-win.
- For example if you want to tell your colleague that he is working too slowly, you can say something like: “I find that your projects are always well detailed and thorough. However, can you maintain the quality of your work while increasing your productivity a little? "
Part 3 of 3: Act with kindness
Step 1. Help people when you know they need help
Being considerate is knowing when someone needs help before they even ask for it. This could range from opening the door for someone on crutches to bringing lunch for your best friend when they are having a stressful day revising for an exam. As long as you don't help the unwilling people, you will act benevolently. See when you can help someone, whether they are important or not. Constantly find out who might need help, even if the person isn't daring to ask. Here are some ways to act with kindness.
- Keep the doors open for people.
- Prepare the chairs for the people.
- Make room for those who sit near you.
- Leave your place to the elderly whether you are on the bus or the train.
- Bring coffee to a colleague if you go to the vending machine.
- Help your parents do extra chores when they are completely overwhelmed.
- Go shopping for your significant other or your roommate.
Step 2. Have good manners
To be benevolent is also to have good manners. If you want to be kind to others, you can't be rude, loud, or annoying in public. You're not being asked to be Prince Charming, but there are some basic behaviors you need to have to make those around you feel comfortable and appreciated. When you go out with your friends or are going to celebrate your grandmother's 80th birthday, you need to behave well, although this varies from person to person. Here are some examples of good manners.
- Avoid gossiping or being excessively rude.
- If you burp, apologize.
- Place a towel in your lap when eating and avoid dropping food on it.
- Do not drink while making noise.
- Make room for people on the sidewalk.
- Avoid topics that are rude or inappropriate to the context.
Step 3. Share
Another way to be caring is to share with others. Say you bring along a delicious box of cookies your mom made for lunch and you can't resist the urge to eat them all, you need to offer some to your coworkers first. If you brought some beautiful stickers to school and can't help but decorate your planner with them, sympathetically ask your friends if they want some. You can also share your clothes, your space, or something that is important to you with the people around you. Know that if you are sharing something that is of no importance to you, it cannot be called sharing.
Sharing is not only for the little ones or between siblings, it is an important quality to be a caring person, regardless of age
Step 4. Be on time
One of the least caring things you can do is act like your time is more important than the time of others. You can do this unintentionally, but if you arrive late and make it a habit, then it will mean to others that you don't care about their time. Whether you show up five minutes late for class, half an hour at work, or 45 minutes to meet a friend, this is sure to annoy the other person and make them feel like you don't have much. to do with his time.
- Of course if you are going to a party or event where there are a lot of people then it doesn't matter if you arrive exactly on time. Arriving at a party the second it starts can seem awkward at that point. But if it's keeping one or two people waiting, it's just being rude to others.
- If you know you're going to be late, you don't need to lie about where you are (“I'm here in 5 minutes!”) And think you'll get better. Be honest and say you're going to be 10-15 minutes late.
Step 5. Be kind to everyone
Here is another aspect of being benevolent. Instead of being considerate only to people you know and love, you can also be considerate of people who are completely foreign to you, especially those who can pay attention in turn. You can hold the door for people, pay a compliment to someone you passed on the street, give your still valid parking ticket to someone who has just arrived, or help an old lady with their groceries.
- You are used to looking for opportunities to help people will make you much more considerate.
- Of course, you need to be sure that the other person will accept these expressions of kindness from a stranger. You probably wouldn't like to bother someone who wants to be alone.
Step 6. Keep your space clean
Keeping your space clean is important if you want to be benevolent as a guest, roommate, or family member, or just want to be a caring person. If you live alone it is still a good thing to keep a clean place, but you have to be especially considerate of the people around you. Make your bed, throw out your trash, do your dishes, and don't let others do it for you. This is an important point for anyone who aspires to be caring, regardless of age.
Attentive people behave as if they are the center of the world and wait for others to wash the dishes for them. It shows that they think they are more important than others and believe that others will act accordingly, you surely don't want to be that kind of person
- Do whatever you can to be kind to people.
- Be patient while learning this new trait!
- Practice makes (most of the time) better!
- Another way to practice caring is to volunteer as a facilitator, act like you believe what the kids tell you even though you don't.