Have you ever talked or tried to strike up a conversation with someone who seems unwilling to talk to you? There are many reasons a person may refuse to speak to you: they may not like you, or you may have interrupted a private conversation. To find out whether someone wants to chat with you or not, learn to read their body language and listen to their words.
Part 1 of 3: Understanding Body and Verbal Language
Step 1. Know how to read between the lines
If you speak on the Internet, it will be difficult to analyze the body language of the other person, but in real life you can easily tell whether someone wants to talk to you or not.
- For example, you can see if the person has seen your post on social media. If it takes a while for her to answer you, or if she doesn't even bother to do so, she doesn't want to talk to you.
- See if the person logs out after you send your message.
- Analyze that person's response. If she only responds with monosyllables, she may not be interested in the conversation.
Step 2. Listen to the person's tone
The content of the discussion will also let you know whether or not you should quietly extricate yourself from this conversation. Observe the following items.
- Does the person look irritated by my words?
- Does she look tired or bored with my answers?
- Does she seem interested or intrigued by our interaction?
- Does she question everything I say?
Step 3. Observe who is leading the conversation
This makes it possible, for example, to notice whether the person you are talking to has completely picked up or not and if you must therefore stop talking.
- If you can hear your voice more than the other person's, they may not be interested in what you are saying.
- Talk less to see if that person is more likely to participate in your conversation. You may therefore be too urgent and not let him speak.
- Find out if you are well integrated into the group you are in. If not, observe the attitude of the other participants.
Step 4. Listen to the other person's responses
The following responses may indicate that the person is bored or does not want to talk to you.
- Lazy answers like “ah really” or “absolutely”.
- Repeat your sentences such as "it's cold today" and "yes, it's cold".
- Ignore certain questions or statements.
- Answer only yes or no, or nod your head.
Step 5. Pay attention to eye contact
Looking a person in the eye when speaking with them means that you are interested. Here are some signs of the exact opposite:
- look at the ground;
- observe the room;
- look at his watch;
- have a glassy gaze.
Step 6. Take note of his posture
Watch how the person is holding up to see if they are interested in your conversation.
- If the person is imitating your own posture and facing you, they probably want to talk to you.
- If the person isn't facing you, they don't want to talk with you.
- Pointing your feet in your direction is also a good sign.
- The space between you and the person also indicates whether or not they want to talk to you.
Step 7. Pay attention to body language
Here are some examples that indicate that the person does not want to have a conversation with you:
- she stands completely still;
- it is tense and stiff;
- she crosses her arms over her chest;
- she touches her neck or puts her collar back in place;
- it fidgets and does not stay in place;
- she yawns.
Part 2 of 3: politely end a conversation
Step 1. Avoid panicking or getting angry
The person in question may just be busy or preoccupied with something. Be understanding and end the conversation so you don't get in a sticky situation.
Try to hide your emotions as much as possible
Step 2. Use an agreed excuse
You can say you have to go to the bathroom or answer your phone. Try to end this conversation by ending on a positive note.
- Explain that you are going to get another drink.
- Say you need to make an important call.
- Explain that you need to go to the bathroom.
- You are not feeling well and need some air.
Step 3. Find a natural conclusion to your conversation
If you are interrupted by an outside event, take the opportunity to end this conversation.
- Find a reason in the room to end the conversation, such as the late hour indicated by a clock.
- Engage someone else in your conversation to get out of it discreetly.
- Take the side of a white person in your conversation to end it. For example, you can say, "I loved talking with you, but I have an important meeting that I need to attend."
Step 4. Respect the person in front of you
You can get rid of an unnecessary conversation by explaining, for example, that you do not want to monopolize your interlocutor.
- For example, you can say, "I'm sure you couldn't talk to everyone, I'm freeing you."
- Your tone of voice as well as your body language should be as sincere as possible.
- Don't use this trick too regularly, as you might sound like someone detached.
Step 5. Ask for the business card or contact person of your interlocutor
This will make it clear that you are ending the conversation. Also express your willingness to continue this discussion in the future.
- Ask the person a specific question. This will allow you to make her talk more easily, but also to ask her for contact with more tact.
- Read the card you will be given to show your respect.
- Offer to help. For example, you can express to him your desire to get involved in his activity.
- Use this tactic with someone you don't know very well.
Step 6. Complete the loop with your conversation
You can end this conversation by returning to the original topic of this conversation. Repeat what you have just learned and thank the person for the time they have given you.
This transition should be as natural as possible. Ask a question about the original topic of your conversation to end it
Step 7. Thank the person
Even if that person isn't interested in you and is rude, stay positive. Be enthusiastic, even if you are not, and thank her for her attention.
- Say something like, "I'm sorry, but I have to be away. I really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you very much, Jean for these tips. "
- Include the person's name in your last sentence to show your respect.
- Always stay positive, because honey is easier to attract bees than vinegar.
Part 3 of 3: keep a conversation going
Step 1. Remember, we all have our bad days
If you are not sure that the person does not want to talk to you, you can use the following tactics to find out.
Give the person a few days to reconnect. This will let you know whether or not she was annoyed by your behavior
Step 2. Send him a friendly message
You can also go through his office or his classroom. This will allow you to determine whether or not she wants to resume your conversation.
- Your message should be brief and friendly. Highlight your satisfaction with your last conversation. For example, you can write: "I really enjoyed our last conversation. I hope you are well. Would you like to have some coffee to continue our discussion? "
- Don't send too many messages. The answer given by this person will say a lot about their position towards you.
Step 3. Determine the person's position
Observe how long it will take for the person to respond to you. This will indicate whether or not she wants to talk to you.
- Analyze the timing and content of his response. If she responds to you in a friendly and enthusiastic manner, it is possible that she was just in a bad mood the last time you met.
- If the person doesn't respond, they don't want to talk to you.
- Do not send a message again so as not to annoy that person.
Step 4. Keep your distance
By insisting, you may upset the person, but you may also sadden yourself. You can also retaliate with a bad reputation with that person's acquaintances.
- Also, avoid removing that person from your social media contacts. This could be a sign that you have understood that this person does not want to talk to you.
- Give her the option to contact you if she wishes. You can then give it another chance.