When you find yourself in the presence of an impatient person, you might feel like you are walking through a minefield, you are always afraid to say or do something that will ignite the powder. In addition, people who have little patience have the gift of making you lose yours. No matter what you do, you are always going to meet this kind of person at work, in school, at work, or in your personal relationships. Learn how to react to impatient people and not let them get on your nerves.
Part 1 of 4: Responding to recurring impatience
Step 1. Anticipate impatience at work
When you have to deal with the impatience of your boss or an office colleague, it can have a negative impact on your performance. If you know you're going to have to deal with an impatient person, try to prioritize your work so that you can ease the situation on both sides.
- How you respond to impatience in your day-to-day life usually depends on your relationship with the person in question. Stay proactive when dealing with other people's impatience based on your relationships with that person.
- For example, if you know your boss is losing his temper over last-minute reports, put aside the rest of your work to make your report as soon as possible.
- If you can't prioritize the impatient person, try to find a solution to working with that person that will make you both happy. Once you agree on the program, make sure you stick to it so that your patience is not lost.
Step 2. Talk to your partner about how their impatience is affecting you
In a romantic relationship, you may have more freedom to express your thoughts and feelings of impatience. Sentences with "I" work well in this case.
- Pick a time when you can sit down with your partner and discuss the source of their impatience. Does your boyfriend lose his patience when you take too long to prepare for your dates? Does your wife lose her patience when you take too long to decide what to eat for dinner? Both partners should try to express their problems to their partner. “Your impatience with me makes me anxious. What can I do to stop you feeling so impatient? "
- Then try to find a solution that takes both partners into account. For example, your boyfriend might show up a few minutes late to give his partner time to get ready. She could also get ready before finishing her makeup and hair styling in the car.
Step 3. Set up a system to overcome children's impatience
If you often notice that your children, youth or teens, are impatient, find practical ways to deal with their impatience while preventing you from becoming overly irritable or frustrated. Again, this will require a conscious assessment of the problem or a discussion with the individual in question to find strategies that will work.
- For a toddler who gets too impatient when you're busy or concerned, you might want to give them a toy, activity, or snack to temporarily distract them until you can take care of their needs.
- For a teenager, the solution will depend on the context. For example, your teenage child becomes impatient when they have to wait for you to finish talking on the phone. You could ask him to write down what he wants to talk about and prepare his thoughts on the topic as you finish your call. If he loses patience because you don't wash his football gear fast enough, he may let you know he needs it so you can wash it right away. You can also buy duplicate equipment so that it always has one available.
Part 2 of 4: react in the moment
Step 1. Use first person singular sentences when talking to an impatient person
To relieve some of his impatience, pay attention to what you say. You need to explain to him how his impatience affects you in order to find a solution, not to make the situation worse or to accuse him. Now is not the time to argue, but to build a relationship where you can help each other and discuss what's going on. Use first-person singular sentences to express how you feel without blaming the other.
- For example, you could say, “I feel overwhelmed when you push me to hurry to work. This project will take me several hours. Can you stop constantly checking until tomorrow? "
- Make sure you present the other person's behavior as the source of your problem, not that person. Since you know this person well, you want to focus on their temporary behavior while maintaining a positive daily relationship. Don't beat around the bush, directly discuss the issue and move on.
Step 2. Avoid saying:
"Relax" or "calm down". The impatience of the other can be a sign of an underlying problem, which is why you should avoid making comments that could downplay what is really going on. An impatient person might be stressed, feel isolated, react to an unexpected delay, or experience other emotions. Lowering her feelings with a "calm down" will only make the problem worse.
Focus on words that tell him you recognize his behavior and don't try to downplay the reaction. For example, if this person seems to be upset because they have to wait, you might start by saying, “You look upset (or stressed, tired, upset, etc.), how can you do this? can I help you? This helps start a conversation and avoid conflict
Step 3. Ask him how you can help him
Instead of adding fuel to an impatient person, sincerely ask how you can help them to give them the opportunity to be heard. This tells her that you are open to dialogue and that you would like to find a way to take care of her needs.
While you can't give impatient people what they want right away, sometimes you can ease their embarrassment by giving them a fork of time to work out a solution
Step 4. Avoid getting angry when answering
Sometimes the impatience of the other can get you upset. Realize that if you get angry in response to another person's anger or irritation, you will only make the situation worse. Try one of the following strategies to defuse the situation before it gets out of hand.
- Practice deep breathing. Breathe in air through your mouth for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of seven, then breathe out slowly for a count of eight. Repeat until you regain control of your emotions.
- Ask that person to let you take a break. Take a moment to regain control and calm down. Call a friend or go for a walk. Then come back to the problem and fix it when you feel better.
- Find a mediator. Some people are really picky. Find a supervisor or someone else who can mediate the discussion between you and the impatient person. It keeps you from feeling hurt. This impartial person will help you find a solution to the problem without getting emotionally involved.
Step 5. Ignore the behavior and continue where you left off
Some people are naturally impatient. It's part of their character. If you know that this person is often impatient, you might not be able to do more than ignore them. If you take it personally instead of just accepting it, you are going to fight a losing battle. Recognizing that your boss, coworker, or even personal acquaintance tends to be a little impatient in general, you'll come to realize that you don't have to take them personally.
This technique is great for people you don't see often or know little about. If you don't have regular contact with this person, you will be wasting your time by focusing too much on their behavior
Part 3 of 4: looking at yourself in the mirror
Step 1. Think about your possible responsibility for his behavior
Sometimes others show their worst side around you because you unintentionally provoked them. Do you always turn in your projects late or always ask for extra time to finish? Your laid back attitude that makes you think you have all the time in the world could be contributing to the other person's susceptibility. Do you have to change something?
- While your laid-back attitude might be your charm, it can be frustrating for your co-workers or friends who depend on you.
- Maybe it's time to think about a better way to accommodate their needs. It could be quite simple, for example by opening the communication on the subject to show them that you are open to change.
Step 2. Think about your own flaws
Everyone does something that tends to annoy others. As you hope others will accept you for who you are, so does accepting others in good times and bad.
- You may have to get used to impatient people if communication isn't your strong suit. Impatience is often brought on by unknown factors, so if you find that others tend to lose patience with you, it might be helpful to ask yourself why this is happening.
- If you find that there are some people at work or at home who are always losing patience with you, try asking them why this is happening to them. For example, if they think you are too poorly organized, ask them what you could do about it. It can help you a lot to change your behavior, but it can also help show them that you are ready to change.
Step 3. Show empathy
Empathy really means you have to put yourself in the other person's shoes to see their perspective on the situation. Instead of showing an emotional reaction in response to their impatience, stop to ask where they might have come from and consider the other's role in the task or situation.
Empathy can be related to a clear understanding of how your role in the project or task in question affects others. For example, if your office mates have to wait until you finish your game before starting theirs, it's normal for them to be impatient if they don't know where you stand
Step 4. Avoid letting impatience affect you
This works best for people who find themselves in both groups, whether you see them infrequently, or know them well enough to know that their impatience is temporary and unrelated to your actions. If someone in your family is going through a stressful time, they may just be impatient in general and you can ignore their behavior. By choosing your battles, you will come to focus on the task that must be finished and on the end of the conflict. You cannot concentrate on your task if you are fighting a losing battle all the time.
- Count to 100 in your head. This forces you to focus only on that task and lower your heart rate to a calmer rate.
- Take care of yourself regularly. The way you care for yourself depends on things that allow you to relax and refocus. Some people like to exercise to calm themselves down while others prefer a quiet time with a book or while meditating.
Part 4 of 4: Understanding impatience
Step 1. Recognize the effect of our fast-paced society on impatience
We live in a fast moving world where everyone expects to have access to everything right away. The internet makes so much information available with just one click that we forget that people have to work, prepare reports and process information. We are not machines and it is important to take into account the human factor in life.
Step 2. Observe the connection between impatience, anger and health
Increased stress can come at the expense of your health and the health of those around you. Try to find ways to avoid this stress when it is unwanted or productive.
- Stress can be the cause of impatience. By taking care of your general stress in a given situation, you can ease the mood for everyone and improve everyone's health.
- Instead of arguing over the obvious impatience, see long-term stress as something you can change.
Step 3. Learn from the impatience of others
Impatience is the sign of being locked into the future instead of living in the present. As you witness the impatience of others, you will remember to become aware of the present. It can also help you realize that your actions are affecting others, take others' impatience as a call to action if needed.
- Try to speak nicely, if you don't you will make others even more impatient.
- If the situation becomes tense between the two of you, seek help from a mediator.
- They are the source of the problem and you have the right to let them know.
- Don't let impatient people get on your nerves. They usually just put on a show by exposing their anger or poor organization. They don't have the right to demand anything from others or to be rude just because they can't get what they want by walking past everyone.