You may notice that your friend is acting differently or is quieter than usual. If you suspect that he / she might be having trouble, go with your gut and try to find out what's wrong. If you wish, ask her if everything is fine, consider picking the best time to do it. Know the best way to steer the conversation and show your support. Finally, encourage him to seek outside help if necessary.
Part 1 of 3: Prepare for the conversation
Step 1. Chat privately
Choose the best place to chat with your friend. If you ask him / her in front of everyone, he / she may feel embarrassed and not want to answer you honestly. For example, if you are with him in a cafe or shopping mall having lunch, he may not want other people to hear his response, even if they are strangers. If you really want him to chat with you, choose a time when you are alone with him. Hold this discussion in private in a place where no one can listen to you.
Chat in the car, on foot or by going to any other private space
Step 2. Remove all distractions
Don't ask your friend if everything is okay when they're fixated on a job they're doing, chatting with someone, on the phone, or thinking about something like a test they need to take the next day. The ideal is to make sure that he has time to chat with you without being distracted or interrupted.
For example, if you are at his house and his parents or siblings tend to interrupt you relentlessly, consider going somewhere where no one can interrupt you
Step 3. Be prepared to discuss it
You should be ready to listen, talk, and support him. Don't get distracted by anything and devote time to your friend. Don't think about things that might distract you, like scheduling a phone call. Devote some of your free time to him.
- Remember, you can't fix people’s problems. If he is not yet willing to speak or does not wish to speak at all, it is best not to insist.
- If you think that bringing up a personal topic might make you nervous, perhaps consider writing down a few points that you would like to discuss.
Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Concerns
Step 1. Adopt a friendly and caring attitude
When talking to your friend, keep a warm, caring, and open attitude. Show him that you care and want to help and support him. While you might want to approach the matter casually, make sure he knows you care.
- You can say “I've been worried about you for a while and would like to know if everything is okay”.
- Nonverbal cues can help you express your concern. Sit across from him and look him straight in the eye when talking to him. If it sounds right to you, put a hand on his shoulder to show him that you care.
Step 2. Ask him how he is doing
As soon as you both seem ready to talk, start by asking her some questions. You can simply start by asking him if he is okay. Keep in mind that you have various options if you want to know how your friend is doing. Say, "how have you been lately? You can also ask him questions like: "how are you", "do you want to talk about it?""
Starting the conversation can be the trickiest part. Immerse yourself in it directly and allow it to respond as it sees fit
Step 3. Talk about one thing in particular
If something is worrying or worrying you, talk to him about it. Do this especially when he looks surprised or defensive about your questions. Try to develop a little more. Mention what you have noticed and why you are worried about it.
- Try saying something like, "I've noticed you've been spending more time alone lately." Are you OK ? "
- Say "you've been very secretive lately. Something is happening ? "
- Try to stick to objective remarks without making assumptions or making accusations.
Step 4. Avoid confrontation
Notice if he doesn't want to talk about it or immediately gets on the defensive. You must not start an argument or a fight. If he doesn't answer your questions, don't insist. Tell him again that you are worried and that he can count on you.
- If he gets on the defensive, ask him, "Is there another person you would like to talk to?" You can also say, "I'll leave you alone, but don't hesitate to call me if you feel like talking."
- Be aware that you may need to chat with him a bit before he opens up to you and talks to you about what is bothering him. Try not to be too pushy on the topic in your first or two discussions.
Step 5. Talk about suicide
If your friend is having suicidal urges or thoughts, stay calm and stay with them. Talk to him about suicide and seek help if needed. He may be telling you how he feels or what he wants to do. If this really worries you, ask him, "Are you trying to hurt yourself or your own life?""
- If he's scared to ask for help, ask him to contact a Suicidal Crisis Intervention Center on 0 800 858 858 or call the emergency room.
- After the call, offer to help them see a psychologist or apply the contact person's recommendations.
Part 3 of 3: Address your concerns
Step 1. Be prepared to listen to it
It's not enough to just ask your friend if they're okay. The most important phase comes next and it is to show him that you are available to listen and support him. Take the trouble to find a niche for him to listen to if he decides to open up to you. Lean towards him and keep eye contact regularly. Show him that you are following him by nodding your head frequently and saying "ahem hum" or "I see". Think about what he says to show him that you understand the content and the feelings he is expressing.
- For example, say, “I'm so sorry that you feel so sad and upset. "
- Never tell him you know how he feels. It's just better to be there for him and try to understand what he's going through as well as possible.
Step 2. Avoid making judgments
Even if you don't share his opinion, don't tell him at the same time or argue with him. Don't blame him for what he told you, even if you think he is wrong. Keep in mind that you asked him what's wrong. Whatever your opinion, keep it to yourself, at least for now.
For example, if he confesses to you that he suffers from a drug addiction, do not reprimand him for taking the drug. Listen to him and show your support by acknowledging his problem
Step 3. Acknowledge his experience
As you listen to your friend's confession, take note of their experience and feelings. If he is having difficulty, write it down and take note. Show him that you are listening and empathizing with the pain he is experiencing.
- Before suggesting anything to her, first take the time to listen carefully and empathize for a while. You might ask him, "What do you think you are doing about it?" Helping her formulate her own solutions can help her feel more empowered.
- If you have no idea what to say to her, just say something like, "This is really a difficult situation you are going through" or "It sucks!" "
Step 4. Encourage Him to Take Action
If the situation warrants action, encourage him to do so. You could encourage her to see a therapist, find out about rehabilitation facilities, or talk to her family and friends. You might be able to encourage her to take medication or request time off from work or school.
Say “thank you for opening up to me. I think it would be best if you seriously consider seeing a professional or finding help. "
Step 5. Keep in touch
Find out about him to find out how he is doing. Let him know you haven't forgotten him. Text him, call him by phone, or meet him in person. Let him know that you are there to support him and help him when he needs it.
- Always keep asking him the following question "How are you?" "
- Ask him "how can I be of use to you?" "