Apologies are complicated conversations to have, because they involve someone admitting they are wrong and it can be difficult to do so. However, when you want to save your friendship with a boy friend, know that it's important to apologize to them. Boys and men are not as emotional as girls and women, but they still wait and appreciate an apology when it is needed.
Part 1 of 3: Recognize what you have done wrong
Step 1. Determine what happened to make your friend upset
As soon as you realize that your friend is mad at you, you need to figure out what you may have said or done to put them in this state.
- You may already know this, but if you don't, take the time to reflect on your recent actions and what you've said about him. What did you do or say that could have upset him?
- If you can't figure out what made him angry with you, then you need to ask him. You can't sincerely apologize for a situation that you didn't know was frustrating or upsetting.
Step 2. Acknowledge that you made a mistake
You may have done a number of things that upset your classmate. An important step in presenting a sincere apology is admitting that you made a mistake.
It can be difficult to do this, because some people don't like to admit that they are wrong or that they have behaved badly. However, this is an essential part of offering a sincere apology and repairing your friendship
Step 3. Understand why your mistake upset your friend
You certainly know your comrade very well. The other very important thing that you have to apologize to him for is knowing why this particular situation is upsetting him.
- Did you disrespect their values or beliefs?
- Did you hurt his feelings?
- Have you lied to him?
- Did you offend his family or another close friend?
- Did you hurt him physically?
Step 4. Decide how you will apologize to him
In general, face-to-face apologies are preferred. However, if this is not possible, other great options available to you are writing a personal letter or making a phone call.
Most people strongly advise against expressing an apology by courier, because it gives the impression that it is not sincere. By doing this, you are indirectly telling your friend that you don't want or don't have time to apologize face to face and therefore don't care about their friendship
Step 5. Make plans to apologize
You need to make plans to apologize to your friend after your friend takes time to calm down. If you decide to apologize face-to-face, ask your buddy if he'll meet you the next day for a chat. If not, consider writing him a note or wait a day before calling him.
- It is best for both of you to give yourself time to calm down and take a step back from the situation. In some circumstances, apologizing directly can seem hypocritical and selfish. However, you should avoid waiting too long, because this will arouse resentment.
- In the meantime, prepare an apology for your friend.
Part 2 of 3: apologize for your actions
Step 1. Plan what to say to him
It is important to plan what you will say to apologize to your friend. Usually boys and men don't like trivia too much, so it's best to get straight to the point.
- “I have to apologize for what I did. "
- “I'm sorry for what I said the other day. "
- “I owe you an apology for the way I acted. "
- "I want to apologize to you for the way I treated you." "
Step 2. Avoid explaining yourself
You should avoid giving reasons for the behavior that upset your friend. More often than not, these reasons simply come as excuses for your behavior.
If you really feel the need to give a reason to justify your act, it's best to stick to the arguments that throw the blame on you. For example, you can say this, "I said these mean things about you, because I felt compelled to mingle with this crowd." You have to avoid saying things like "okay, I know I shouldn't have said these things, but you looked for it." "
Step 3. Take full responsibility for your actions
In some cases, you and your friend may both share the blame for the disagreement. However, when you apologize, it's best to take responsibility for your actions.
- “I admit I was wrong. "
- "I know what I did was rude and you didn't deserve to be treated that way." "
- “I am aware that I made a mistake. "
- “I made a mistake and I fully accept this obviousness. "
Step 4. Explain how you will catch up
When you hurt a friend's feelings or upset them in some way, know that at times they will lose confidence in you. The best way to restore that trust is to show her that you value friendship and want to mend it.
- "I'll buy you another one, since I destroyed yours." "
- "I don't like the fact that they tried to get me to bully someone to be friends with them, so I'm going to walk away from them." I already have good friends like you. "
- “I will also apologize to your family. It was really horrible of me to say that. "
- "I'll always be honest with you from now on." Your friendship means a lot to me. "
Step 5. Apologize to your friend
Once you've written down everything you want to say to him in your apology, bring it to his attention.
- Go all the way by meeting him in person to apologize or be sure to call him. If you decide to write him a letter, then leave it somewhere he can find it or send it to him in the mail.
- Keep in mind that you shouldn't apologize while chatting with him.
- Stay calm when you apologize. Crying will certainly make her feel guilty, when you are the one in charge and the anger will turn the conversation into an argument.
- Allow them to interrupt the discussion if they get angry or want to say something, and avoid reacting negatively if what they say doesn't suit you. This gives him proof that you are serious and that you respect his friendship.
Part 3 of 3: Moving Forward After Apologizing
Step 1. Face the evidence if your friend rejects your apology
In some cases, he might not be ready to accept your apology. It is important that you accept this as well.
- Don't get mad at him or yell at him. He has the right to accept or reject your apology and if you really hurt or offended him, he might not want to.
- If your mistake cost you your friendship, you need to take responsibility.
- Avoid begging for forgiveness or asking what you can do to redeem yourself. Instead, take the initiative to regain her confidence by doing these things on your own.
Step 2. Show your friend that your apology is sincere
In your words, you certainly told him how you will make up for it. Show him you are serious by keeping those promises.
- Do whatever it takes to be forgiven without complaining. Complaining will only destroy your excuses and possibly lay the guilt or blame on your friend.
- It is even more important to follow through if he refuses to accept your apology, as this is a great way to regain his trust.
Step 3. Make the situation historic
Once the apology is accepted and the dispute is resolved, it is best to forget about this situation and put it in the past.
Avoid bringing it up all the time, regardless of whether he accepted or rejected your apology. If he has accepted them, talking about them again may become boring and cause a new problem. In case he rejects the apology, frequently annoying him with it will only drive him away
- Offer a short apology. You don't have to have a conversation lasting several minutes or write a long letter. Express what you have to say and move on.
- Analyze the situation from his perspective to better understand why he is mad at you.