How to determine if a person is trustworthy

How to determine if a person is trustworthy
How to determine if a person is trustworthy

When you are about to hire someone or meet someone for the first time, it can be difficult to determine if they are trustworthy. Even if it makes a good first impression on you, it can turn out to be false or misleading. To determine if a person is trustworthy for a professional or personal role, you should observe their behavior and gauge their personality through referrals, recommendations, and testimonials.


Part 1 of 3: observe the person's behavior

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 1

Step 1. Look the person in the eye

Most people think that it is possible to tell that a person is lying by observing the direction in which their eyes go. If she is lying she will look up and to the left and if she is telling the truth she will look up and to the right. Unfortunately, no study supports this theory. Maintaining eye contact doesn't also mean the person is telling the truth, since those who lie don't always look away. However, you can pay attention to the pupils of your interlocutor. A person who is lying might have larger pupils, showing that they are thinking and are under stress.

  • Whether they are someone you trust or a liar, the other person will tend to look away when you ask them a difficult question. However, someone who is lying will only briefly look away, while someone who is telling the truth will take longer to prepare their response.
  • While eye contact is not the only way to determine someone's reliability, a person who makes good eye contact is more likely to be a good communicator and might more readily accept the idea of ​​someone. 'be vulnerable.
Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 2

Step 2. Pay attention to his body language

A sure way to tell if a person is trustworthy is to study their body language as well as the way they present themselves. However, body language shouldn't be taken at face value, as most signals indicate nervousness or tension, which could mean the other person is lying or not feeling comfortable.

  • Trusted people most of the time have open body language, with their hands resting at their sides and the body facing them. Observe if the person is crossing their arms or facing you when you talk to them. This could mean that she is not sure of herself and that she is probably not as involved as you or that she is hiding something from you.
  • Be careful if the other person's body language shows tension. He may just be nervous, but studies have shown that people are physically tense when they lie.
  • People who lie are more prone to pursing their lips when you ask them a sensitive question. They may pick up their nails, play with their hair, or make awkward gestures.
Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 3

Step 3. Observe if the person you're talking to shows commitment

Trusted people often come to work or to their appointments on time to show that they are on time. If the person you're talking to is late without calling you to let you know or if they miss the meeting, it could be a sign that they can't show commitment.

Also, in case the person changes the time of the meeting without informing the others or cancels out what would have been planned, it could be that he has no qualms about wasting their time to others and that she has trouble managing her time. In a purely professional context, this kind of behavior is unreliable, but also unprofessional. Among friends, if you are misled, it shows that the person has no qualms about wasting your time and might not be trustworthy

Part 2 of 3: Interpreting Your Interactions

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 4

Step 1. Observe how the other person answers difficult or sensitive questions

If it is a job interview, it would be wise to ask a sensitive or difficult question to see how it is doing. You don't have to ask a questionable or aggressive question, but opt ​​for an open-ended question that requires careful thought. You should always give the person a chance to respond honestly and openly.

For example, you could ask your candidate what they think was their biggest challenge in their previous job, or if they had difficulty learning a particular skill in their previous job. It may take a long time to respond, but watch if he tends to steer the conversation to another topic instead. This might indicate that he is hiding something about his old job or that he doesn't want to dwell on it

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 5

Step 2. Ask personal, but open-ended questions

Open-ended questions require the person to provide more details. Questions like these "Can you tell me more about …?"”And“Tell me about…”are a good approach. If you suspect the other person is lying, ask general questions first and then be more specific. Pay attention to any suspicious details. It's hard for a liar to stay consistent in what they say, especially if their story becomes more complex.

People who lie are more likely to redirect the conversation to their partner. If you feel like you still can't figure out who you're talking to after several conversations, or if you find yourself talking more about yourself rather than learning more about the other, this could be an alarming sign

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 6

Step 3. Listen to the person speaking

According to some research, people who lie have many verbal tics. Pay attention to what she says, but also how she says it. Here are some things to consider.

  • Limited use of the pronoun "I". Those who lie do not usually use the personal pronoun "I". They might avoid taking responsibility for their actions and try to put some distance between themselves and the story they are telling, or they might avoid appearing too involved.
  • Words that reflect negative emotion. Some research shows that those who have trouble telling the truth often experience guilt and anguish. It shows in the words they use. They tend to use words with negative connotations, such as "unnecessary", "hate" and "sad".
  • Low use of limiting words. Words like "but", "neither" or "except" show that the person is making a distinction between what has happened and what has not happened. People who lie have a harder time dealing with this complexity, and they rarely use these words.
  • Unusual details. People who lie do so in less detail than usual when recounting an event. They also tend to justify themselves for everything, even if you haven't asked them anything.
Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 7

Step 4. Look for any act of mutuality

Trusted people respect collaboration during communication as well as the concept of mutuality. If you still feel pressured to ask important questions or to keep an eye out for anything the interviewer might reveal during the discussion or if you can't get satisfactory answers when you ask, be aware that your interlocutor is probably not reliable.

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 8

Step 5. Pay attention to how quickly the other person engages in the relationship

Wanting to start a collaborative relationship too quickly is a sign that the person may be unreliable. If she puts pressure on you to make a commitment, constantly flatters you, or tries to distance you from your friends and family so that you have you all to her own, then it's highly likely that she won't. be unreliable.

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 9

Step 6. Observe how the person treats others

Sometimes it happens that unreliable people will make a special effort to prove their worth to you and make your relationship okay. However, it is very difficult to play this comedy for a long time, and sometimes the mask can fall off. Observe how the person behaves around others. Does she lose control of her emotions when around other people? Does she treat the waiters with disrespect when she is at a restaurant? Does she feed the gossip about her colleagues when they are not around? These are just a few signs that a person is untrustworthy.

Part 3 of 3: have proof of the person's character

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 10

Step 1. Go to social networks

It can be difficult to maintain a deceptive appearance, especially since we live in a networked world. Research has shown that a person's Facebook profile reflects their true personality more than the character they present to everyone. If you have any doubts about a person's reliability, check their accounts on various social networks and see if they really reflect the personality of the one you met.

According to research, many people often tell little lies on dating sites. These are usually attempts to present themselves in the best possible way, for example by decreasing their weight or age somewhat or increasing their income a little. People are more likely to lie when they are in a social situation. However, it is rare to come across big lies

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 11

Step 2. Ask for at least three references

If you are hosting the person for a job interview or planning to hire them, you should ask for at least three references, including one personal reference and two professional references.

  • If the person you're talking to is reluctant to give you their references or outright refuses to do so, you should take this into account. A reliable candidate would generally be happy to include his references in his CV, since he would not be worried about what the references would say about himself.
  • Pay attention to applicants who give you personal references like a wife, family member or friend. The best personal reference is someone that the candidate knows both professionally and personally and who can describe him objectively.
Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 12

Step 3. Obtain testimonials about the candidate's personality through their references

Once you have the references, be sure to contact each of them to ask them a few basic questions to better understand the candidate's behavior. These could be simple questions, including how they met, either professionally or personally, and how long they've known each other. You can also ask the reference person why they are recommending the candidate for the job and ask them to give you examples of why they would be ideal for the job.

Note whether the reference person says anything disturbing about the candidate or gives information that could put the candidate's reliability in question. You should raise the issue with the candidate and give them a chance to explain themselves, especially if you are serious about hiring them

Determine if Someone Is Trustworthy Step 13

Step 4. Ask for other personal information, such as background or a list of previous employers

If you are still not sure what the personality of the person is, you can ask them to provide you with more personal information, through the names of their previous employers or do a little verification of their background. Most people shouldn't be afraid of having their route checked if they have nothing to hide.

  • The names of previous employers as well as their contacts can be used to prove that your interlocutor has nothing to reproach himself with and that he wants his previous employers to talk to you.
  • In case you still have big doubts about someone you have met in a social circle, you can always do a little private check of their professional background on the internet.

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