How to give a good hug

How to give a good hug
How to give a good hug

The first step in giving a good hug is knowing when to do it. Hugs aren't always appropriate, but you can amaze someone's day by hugging them when they really need them. To give a good hug, you will need to create a welcoming and warm space for your partner. Make him feel comfortable, loved, and supported.


Part 1 of 3: initiate the embrace

Give Good Hugs Step 1

Step 1. Know when to give a hug

There are times that are appropriate and times when it is best to keep your arms to yourself. To begin with, understand why you are hugging someone: maybe to say hello to a good friend, to comfort someone who is crying, or to share your feelings with someone you love or your partner. Whatever the context, a good hug should come naturally. Wait for a break in the conversation, a transition, or an emotional moment. Consider these scenarios.

  • A pause in conversation can be any point where time seems to stand still. You can take advantage of these moments if you intend to give someone a hug. You don't need to have a reason to hug, you just need the context to be right. A hug at such a time would be quite natural.
  • A transition is anything that begins or ends an interaction. You might give a friend a hug when you meet her or when he (or she) leaves you. Give a hug to mark the beginning or the end of something.
  • A moving moment is this experience in which you and another person (or more) share very strong emotions. Give a friend a hug after they tell you a deep, emotional story. Do the same to your sister or brother when she (or he) just broke up with her boyfriend. Give a hug to recognize that a moment was important to you and end it in style.
Give Good Hugs Step 2

Step 2. Be welcoming

Create a safe and gentle environment. Open your arms wide and try to keep a warm smile. Use your body language, facial expression, and general demeanor to invite the person into your arms. Make that person feel like they're the only one who matters right now.

Give Good Hugs Step 3

Step 3. Open your arms

Your body language should tell the person they need to kiss you. Approach the person to make the invitation clearer. Make eye contact with the person you want to hug and make sure they're okay with you hugging them. If the person approaches you to answer your call, they have accepted. So now is the time to switch to affective mode.

  • Wait for a clue. If you have any doubts, wait until the person you want to hug is reaching out to you. This is a good strategy, but you can also consider how much joy you would bring to someone by initiating yourself.
  • If the person does not come forward in your arms, do not force. Lower your arms and try to pull back gently. Drop.
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Step 4. Consider asking

Say Can I give you a hug? or I want to hug you right now. This can be a good follow-up if you're having a hard time or if you think the other person might feel uncomfortable when you suddenly hug them. By clearly displaying your intentions, you can lighten the mood and create a mood that works for you both.

Know when there is no point in asking. In most cases, you don't need to announce that you want to hug, especially when you know the person well or if you've hugged each other in the past. Keep in mind that your hug will look more natural if you do it just like that

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Step 5. Be sincere

Do not expect anything else from the embrace other than sharing a warm moment. A hug can mean more, with a loving heart and genuine desire, in order for someone to feel better, you will be seen as a friendly and welcoming person. If you do it in order to get something from someone, that person is unlikely to feel comfortable.

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Step 6. Determine the style of your brace

It will depend on your personality and the person. Some people are able to hug you without the slightest fear: they open their arms wide and give a firm hug to everyone they meet. Sometimes they even lift people up! Others are more subtle and less committed in their approach: they have become accustomed to the hug that we give between friends. Watch different people give hugs and decide which one you think is more appropriate for a given situation.

  • The hug: throw yourself completely in the moment. Hold tight and be kind. Rest your head on the person's chest or shoulder. Easily show your love.
  • The side hug: This approach is more subtle and less engaged. Stand next to someone and extend an arm. Slip your arm around their shoulder (if you are taller) or around their back, below their arm (if you are shorter). Look in the same direction as your partner, gently squeeze their shoulder, and release at the right time.
  • The hug between brothers: This is an ordinary hug between friends characterized by a quick hug without too much contact. Keep your butt well back, lean forward and then pat your friend's back one to three times. Try to lean forward and start with a handshake to pat him on the back with one arm and in a quick motion.

Part 2 of 3: hug a friend or family member

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Step 1. Give a loving hug

If you hug someone in a platonic fashion, you don't have to worry about being too far forward or too far back. The goal is to show someone how much you appreciate them, so make a good hug. Wait for the right moment, then wrap your arms around the person and keep them close.

  • Most people love a hug. If it is sincere and heartwarming, people will notice it. Don't be afraid to share your love!
  • This is especially important if you are hugging someone for comfort. The more affectionate you are, the more love your partner will feel in your gesture.
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Step 2. Try not to make people feel uncomfortable

This implies that you shouldn't take a platonic embrace too far. Do not hug the person so hard that you hurt or suffocate them. Do not touch their private or sensitive parts unless the person you are kissing gives you permission. Don't get your mouth too close to hers, or breathe too hard into her ears, or step on her toes! Use your common sense and tone down your approach if the person feels uncomfortable.

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Step 3. Kiss a family member

You don't have to think about it too much. The goal here is to show simple, platonic love, even if you don't really like the person. You shouldn't over-tighten, even if strong braces (both in firmness and in duration) seem to show more affection. Quickly move your hand to the upper back of the person you are kissing and smile when you let go.

  • Part of hugging a female relative should be the same. Do it to your mother as you would your sister or your grandmother. For men, it may depend on the context and who they are. If you are a man, some people prefer you to shake their hand.
  • Try to understand how your family members hug each other. Some families force the hug a little bit while others tend to have as little physical contact as possible. Watch how other members of your family behave with each other, then lend yourself the same to make sure they feel comfortable.
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Step 4. Don't be afraid to extend

If you give a quick, fun hug, you can let go after a few seconds. However, if the moment requires a long hug, don't feel embarrassed. Just like staring at someone, a long hug can be a strong and intimate experience. It might be a great way to get closer to someone. You will find that after a while you can slip into the person's arms just to enjoy the feeling of being held.

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Step 5. Give a friend a hug

The depth and duration depends on the context: how close are you to the person, why are you hugging them, and what's your mood right now? Expectations can also vary depending on whether the person you want to kiss is a woman or a man. What matters is that you are loving and sincere. Your gesture should show your friend how much you appreciate them.

  • Girl hugs: Close your eyes and think about how much you appreciate your friend. Tighten as much as you want, but be careful not to crush your friend! Avoid patting him on the shoulders. Some girls might think you don't like them if you pat them on the back without the hug being deep enough.
  • Boy-to-boy hugs: Hug each other firmly and pat each other on the upper back or shoulders. If you're having an emotional time, make the hug last a bit and don't give yourself a pat on the back. Be careful who you hug - some boys don't feel comfortable with a boy-to-boy hug, while others don't.

Part 3 of 3: hug your partner

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Step 1. Make it natural and consensual

Before you give a hug that comes out of the platonic frame, make sure that person doesn't mind your touching them. Your partner should be okay and ready to be drawn into some romantic or sensual movement. If you have any doubts, do not hesitate to ask him for his opinion. The more comfortable you become with your partner, the more apt you will be about how comfortable she is.

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Step 2. Pick the right time

There are many reasons you can hug your partner as to why you would anyone else, but there can be deeper emotions behind the hug and there is at least some sexual tension. Give your partner a hug when you feel the surge of affection or just to greet or when you want to ignite a spark of passion.

A hug can be a great way to recognize that the two of you just shared a moment. Maybe you just confessed your love to her, your eyes met, or you have a special feeling of love today

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Step 3. Make it intimate

If your partner is doing it, you can make the gesture a little deeper. Squeeze her a little tight and gently stroke her back with your hands. Give her a kiss on the neck or on the forehead and think about having fun squeezing her behind. Play with the hair at the back of her neck and push your head towards her chest. The more comfortable you feel with someone, the easier it will be to show them your affection and your hugs will only get better.

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Step 4. Know the traditional gender roles

Be yourself, but it's good to know which style of brace is best suited for a woman or a man. Be aware of these roles and decide how you are going to present yourself to the person you are hugging. You have the choice between accepting and rejecting these models. There is no correct way to hug.

  • To take on a traditionally more masculine role: take your partner by the waist, so that your hands meet in the small of their back. Hold them in this position for just a few seconds then release once she does. Look her in the eye when you part ways, and then naturally continue your conversation.
  • To take on a traditionally female role: put your arms around your partner's neck and shoulders. Lightly press your chest against hers. Quickly let go. However, there is nothing wrong with just putting your arms around your partner's waist.
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Step 5. Try a surprise hug

If someone feels really comfortable with you, try giving them a hug in surprise. Pick up your girlfriend while she's standing working on something, hug your boyfriend while he stares into the distance. A surprise hug doesn't have to be aggressive or sudden, it's just to show how comfortable you feel with that person.

If you are in a cheerful mood, try covering their eyes by saying Guess who is it! Keep in mind that not everyone likes surprises, especially when the eyes are involved. So use your common sense


  • Smell good!
  • Give him a pat on the back. If he (or she) pushes you away, consider saying something nice like sorry in another way.
  • As a precaution, find out if your partner really wants you to hug them. Have a reason to hug someone you don't know. Read the person's body language to see if your hug is welcome.
  • If he (or she) tells you he has back pain, don't give him a massage.
  • Boys like their girlfriends to hug them from behind. They also love surprises, so spice things up. Don't give them a hug the same way all the time.


  • Don't have cold hands.
  • Let your funny hugs be very light, unless you think he (or she) likes them very much.

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