A sociopath can be defined as an individual over the age of 18 with an antisocial personality disorder. This disorder is characterized by contempt for the feelings of others, lack of remorse or shame, manipulative behavior, a self-centered personality, and the ability to lie in order to achieve one's goal. Some sociopaths are just tough to get along with, but some can be dangerous, which is why it's important to be aware of yourself when you're confronted with one of them, whether it's your new or new kid - unmanageable friend or colleague. If you want to know how to recognize a sociopath, then you will have to pay particular attention to the actions and words of your "suspect".
Part 1 of 2: Knowing how to recognize the signs
Step 1. Observe if the person feels remorse
Most sociopaths can do bad things and feel no remorse. These actions can be physical abuse or humiliating others in public. If you are dealing with a real sociopath, he will not feel any remorse for hurting or manipulating his neighbor, lying or behaving in an unacceptable way in general.
- When a sociopath behaves badly, he usually refuses to admit his wrongs and tends to blame others for his bad actions.
- Sociopaths can hurt anyone who gets in their way, if it helps them achieve their goals. This is why many sociopaths are successful, unfortunately.
- Sociopaths can be cruel to animals and will not show any remorse about this either.
Step 2. Check to see if this person is lying constantly
It is okay for sociopaths to spend their lives lying. In fact, true sociopaths even find it difficult to speak the truth. If they are caught in the act of lying, they will continue to lie even more and only backtrack to cover up more lies. If they're really on the verge of being taken for a heinous or important lie, they might just violently confess everything to be loyal to them.
- Sociopaths love to lie about their past too. Think about the inconsistencies in the stories you are told.
- Some sociopaths will go to great lengths to make you believe their lies. For example, a sociopath may claim to "go to work" every morning, even though he is in fact unemployed.
- Many sociopaths suffer from delusional disorders, to the point where they themselves believe their own lies. For example, Charles Manson once said, “I never killed anyone! I don't need to kill people! "
- For example, they may promise that they will go to therapy and never do so, or they may also change for a while before their behavior deteriorates again.
Step 3. Observe if they are able to remain strangely calm despite the circumstances
Sociopaths can go through a very intense event from an emotional point of view without showing any emotion, at least in appearance (a form of silent contempt). They often react to good news with expressionless, cold gaze. Sociopaths do not react to events in the same way as non-sociopaths and may be unresponsive in dangerous or frightening situations.
- If you feel nervous or panic in a situation and the person accompanying you seems barely disturbed, it is possible that that person does not feel the events as seriously as you.
- Think about this: Has this person ever seemed particularly anxious or nervous to you, especially in situations that should naturally lead to this type of behavior? Although some people are in a more even mood than others, most people show some form of anxiety at some point.
- Studies show that sociopaths show no signs of anxiety when shown disturbing pictures or when given mild electric shocks, while non-sociopaths show anxiety and fear in this guy situation.
- If you are upset or very scared and the person you are with is perfectly calm, they may not feel or understand the gravity of the situation, which is a sign of lack of compassion. Sociopaths have a reduced ability to feel compassion.
Step 4. Observe their charisma
Charming people is their strong point, because they know how to get what they want. Charming people know how to make their interlocutor feel special, they know how to ask the right questions and know how to be funny, kind and interesting. True charmers possess the ability to charm just about anyone, from children to old ladies. If the person you have in mind is incredibly charming at first and their behavior subsequently scares or confuses you, you may be dealing with a sociopath.
- They can be generous and help people they barely know and have completely opposite behavior with their family members.
- You can think of sociopaths as artists with a secret plan. They have to know how to charm people in order to get what they want from them. To achieve their goals, they must first blend in, which means they must learn how to smile, how to flatter people, and how to make people feel comfortable.
- While many sociopaths can be charming, they possess strong anti-social inclinations and can live in isolation (without feeling lonely or socially deprived) for weeks on end.
Step 5. Look for manipulative behavior
Sociopaths notice weakness and exploit it to the fullest. When determined, they can manipulate people and get them to do almost anything. Sociopaths prey on weaker people and usually keep their distance from people as strong as themselves, they are drawn to people who are sad, uncomfortable or looking for meaning in life, as these people are easy prey. Check to see if your suspect is good at getting others to do what he wants.
- Real sociopaths will gradually dominate and control a person without him noticing. They like to be in control of all situations and are uncomfortable when dealing with strong individuals.
- When surrounded by psychologically strong people, they are afraid of being discovered. They will then keep a certain distance and establish discreet contact to assess the situation. They like to fool strong people without being discovered or noticed. If they feel compromised, they will play their wild card or disappear with an excuse that does not hold water.
- They control others by doing psychological work aimed at creating addiction in their victims. Their strategy is to weaken their prey little by little. By remaining discreet, they believe that they will not be discovered or compromised.
- Note whether it is okay for the person you have in mind to disappoint others or shamelessly lie to get their way.
Step 6. Beware of violent behavior
When they were children, some sociopaths tortured helpless animals like frogs, kittens, puppies, ants, etc. (This behavior may resurface in adulthood, but the disturbances manifest themselves through moral and emotional abuse). The person may also be violent towards others or bang against walls in a fit of anger, throw objects on the ground or exhibit other violent behavior.
If you have the impression that an apparently calm individual can suddenly turn violent at any time, then it is possible that that individual is a sociopath
Step 7. Analyze the person's ego
Sociopaths often display delusions of grandeur and think they are the most fantastic people in the world. They are then insensitive to criticism because of their oversized egos. They will also feel like they are owed everything, that they deserve incredible things to happen to them, even after little effort.
- They may also have an unrealistic view of their own abilities, for example they may imagine that they are extremely talented in singing or dancing, when in reality they have practically no talent in these disciplines.
- They may also think that they are better than the people around them, without any proof of this superiority.
- They can be completely narcissistic and much more inclined to talk about themselves or to admire themselves in a mirror than to listen to what others have to say.
Step 8. See if the person has a few real friends
While not everyone is equal when it comes to making friends, you should tick if the individual you suspect to be a sociopath literally has no friends. This one can have lackeys, that is to say people who remain faithful to him to be led to the wand or people who turn around him to take advantage of the situation. But if he has no real connection with others, there is a good chance that something is wrong with him, unless he is sickly shy or unless there is some other compelling reason that would prevent it. to have friends.
- It is the same for the members of his family. If the person has no contact with family members and never talks about them, there may be a problem too. Of course, there can be plenty of other reasons not to talk to family members, such as a particularly difficult childhood for example.
- Look for a lack of connection to his past. If that person doesn't have any friends from college, high school, or dating from a past period in their life, chances are you're dealing with a sociopath.
Step 9. Note if the person is trying to isolate you
Sociopaths like to connect quickly with new people they have just met. The point is to leave you unlikely to be able to back down or change your mind. If you start a romantic relationship with a sociopath, you may find that he or she is very intensely invested in the relationship after only a few weeks, for example. He will be able to make you feel like you are soul mates because he is very good at reading people and will be able to tell you exactly what you want to hear. In the end, he will want to have you all to himself instead of “sharing” you with the world.
If you are dating, the sociopath will quickly try to isolate you from your friends, because he will feel threatened by them. He will look for excuses not to hang out with them. He will tell you things like "They don't understand you like I understand you" or "They never gave me my chance", to try to make you believe that everyone is against you and that you should pass. all your time with him
Step 10. Observe if this person is immature
Sociopaths don't learn from their mistakes and repeat the same ones over and over again. This is why they cannot grow or develop as much as the others. Look for any signs of immature behavior that might be lurking behind his apparent charisma. Here are some clues to look for.
- A pronounced selfishness. The individual might want to keep everything to himself, whatever the cost. This type of person refuses to share.
- A monstrous ego. The sociopath can be so obsessed with himself that he doesn't care about others.
- From dependence. This person may want you to be there for them whenever they want.
- A recurring lack of responsibility. He delegates the tasks that he cannot (or does not want) to accomplish? It's a sign ! He can even push the vice so far as to claim an accomplishment by obscuring other people, but they usually prefer to delegate and blame someone for a mistake rather than making it.
Step 11. Look for the trigger
Since they are deceiving others and lying, they usually try to pass off the victim as the source of the problem. Medically, this is called projection. It is one of the master cards of sociopaths.
- He accuses you of doing to him what he does to you. If he lies to you and tells you that you are a liar, he is a sociopath.
- It drives you crazy! When he says or does things that annoy you while trying to pass yourself off as a madman, he is most certainly a sociopath …
Step 12. Observe how he looks at you
As a sociopath's ego is fueled when the other feels uncomfortable, they usually look you in the eye intensely in an attempt to intimidate you.
Be careful if he stares at you with a cold gaze and doesn't seem to take your unhappiness into account at all
Part 2 of 2: Running away from a sociopath
Step 1. Don't give him what he wants
When you know you are dealing with a sociopath, be as distant as possible so as not to generate excitement in the other, as sociopaths get bored quite quickly. So don't try to argue with them or engage in deep conversations. Show that you have no interest in the person, say that you have no money, that all your things have been stolen. Whatever the person wants, always find an excuse not to help them by having a very cold and distant attitude.
Step 2. Keep a distance if you can
Once you establish that the individual you suspect is a complete sociopath, then your best bet is to avoid him as much as possible. If that person is a colleague or a member of your circle of friends, then it will be more difficult to avoid them altogether, but try to stay away as much as possible. Remember that a sociopath might be able to detect that you are trying to distance yourself, and so they might want to attract you even more. Be strong and determined to spend as little time as possible with this person.
- This does not mean that you should be openly mean or hostile, on the contrary, it could put you in danger.
- Don't tell the person you know you're dealing with a sociopath. This might make her angry or make her even more determined to control you. This person should not know that you are suspicious. Stay as far away as possible, but without being rude.
Step 3. Be insensitive to its charms
The sociopath may want to charm you and buy you off with gifts, compliments, or stories the aim of which is to show it in a favorable light. But remember, once you determine that a person is a complete sociopath, you cannot go back.
- No matter how charming it is, no lie will draw you to the dark side of the force. Don't let that person flatter you for a second chance. You are smarter than that.
- Don't let your guard down. The sociopath may even try to make you feel sorry for them. He can tell you how lonely he feels, how important you are to him. But if this individual is as manipulative and a liar as you have established him to be, you cannot feel any sympathy for him beyond the fact that you may feel sorry that this individual is suffering from a mental illness.
Step 4. If you are dating this person, leave them as soon as possible
If you are dating a sociopath then you need to get out of this situation as quickly as possible and safely. The longer you wait, the more things will escalate, the more likely you are to fall for his arguments. If you need to end the relationship, let her know as quickly as possible. Don't tell him or her that the reason is that you think he or she is a sociopath.
- Stay vague so as not to give him information that allows him to manipulate you. Be firm and consistent in your decisions because you are going to have to repeat yourself many times.
- Remember, there is a difference between careless people and sociopaths.You might think that a person is a sociopath because they mistreated you or because they are very selfish, but this can be just a sign of weakness. A true sociopath absolutely never cares what other people think, ever.
- If you are in a relationship with a genuinely domineering or manipulative partner, it may be best not to end it directly. Maybe it's best to tell her over the phone or have a friend present in case you need help when it comes to picking up your things. Sociopaths may not accept that you try to break up with them and may turn violent to force you to stay.
Step 5. Notify those around you
Without going so far as to shout it from the rooftops (unless the person represents a real danger to others), you should think about warning the people around him or those who could potentially go out with him or her. If you realize that someone really needs to be warned, don't be afraid to speak up, be careful not to let the sociopath find out, or they'll get angry.
Take it on a case-by-case basis. If the sociopath is one of your superiors, then yes, it might not be a good idea to tell everyone. But you should keep your distance as much as possible
Step 6. Think for yourself
Sociopaths seek out people who find it difficult to think for themselves or who need guidance. The best way to make yourself immune to her charm or avoid dealing with sociopaths in the future is to know who you are and to be able to develop your own reasoning and see the world through your own eyes.. Sociopaths don't approach strong-minded people and free thinkers, as these are more complicated to control.
- While some people take a lifetime to start thinking for themselves, make an effort to keep up with the news, understand different perspectives on a situation, and spend time with people. whose beliefs are different from yours to achieve this.
- Part of it has to do with your confidence. If you have confidence in yourself, you will have more confidence in your ideas. And you are more likely to scare sociopaths!
Step 7. Don't be afraid
Use your intelligence and be calm in communicating and dealing with the sick. As we mentioned, a sociopath can be a great actor. So knowing that he can play many characters and lie looking at you with his charming eyes straight into yours, there is no point in being a diplomat.
- As sociopaths are sometimes intelligent, this may be the source of their unhappiness and they seek to assert themselves by making sure that they are the most intelligent, interesting, and often the very center of the Universe. If you are not trying to prove anything and if you distance yourself by communicating with them while being calm, sociopaths will have little hold on you. Appreciate yourself for who you are and don't get caught up in the web of the master! Rest assured, the vast majority of sociopaths aren't made up of assassins, rapists, or hideous, gooey monsters. They are simply Human Beings with a heart like you, but you must communicate with them with care and intelligence. A sociopath did not choose to be, but you can choose to let yourself be manipulated or not, this is your decision. Know that some people have negative intentions and are particularly manipulative, sometimes they can hurt you, but if you take charge of your life, you can live free and as you wish.
- A sociopath will appreciate that you show him your inner strength, but he doesn't like to waste energy unnecessarily and if he knows that every time he tries to drag you into his delusions you don't follow him and cut him off. the grass underfoot, he will find it boring and he doesn't like to be bored at all.
- Sociopaths usually know how to make people believe that they are the victim when they are in reality the aggressor.
- Sociopaths tend to blame their victim for their bad deeds. They will never admit their mistakes and attack their victim instead. This is a key criterion in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).
- This type of person will say things to you to make up for forgiveness and then say they never said them. It is a mind manipulation tactic.
- If someone seems too good to be true, they probably are. This is true for any diagnosis of DSM, including sociopathy, borderline personality, and narcissism.
- Most are aware that they have to hide their cold and aloof aspect and are good actors (they are used to being different). Openly sociopathic behavior will only be present in sociopaths who are not very intelligent, young or mentally limited (they will not mask their coldness, their cruelty, their antisocial behaviors).
- Some scientists believe that sociopaths suffer from damage to the frontal cortex which regulates emotions and morals.
- Sociopathic behavior can be 'passed on' from father to son, so delve into its family history for clues to better understand your suspect's personality.
- Some experts believe that a large number of sociopaths suffered from sexual abuse as children.
- Sociopaths are good liars because they don't really have a conscience. They will use every apology for their actions in an attempt to avoid being discovered.
- Sociopaths are less emotional and can use yours against you. It is most effective to deal with people on terms they understand, so if you must deal with a sociopath, leave your emotions and feelings at the door or they will control you.
- While not all sociopaths are violent, it's best to distance yourself from this type of person, whether it's on an emotional or friendly level.