How to convince a girl to open up to me (for boys)

How to convince a girl to open up to me (for boys)
How to convince a girl to open up to me (for boys)

It's hard enough to get people to open up. If you are looking to build a closer relationship with a friend, family member, or possible partner, you will need a fair amount of patience and understanding. To be able to build a solid relationship with women one day, you have to listen to them without prejudice and understand their way of communicating.


Part 1 of 2: Communicate Effectively

Get a Girl to Open up to You when You're a Guy Step 1

Step 1. Practice active listening

One of the first things a girl needs to do to open up to you is listen to her. This way, she will understand that what she says interests you and that will convince her to open up to you.

  • Make eye contact with her when she speaks and use words and non-verbal communication to let her know you care. Nod, smile and laugh at the right time. Repeat what she thinks and says so she knows you understand her.
  • Avoid distractions during the discussion. Don't look away from your smartphone or your computer. If you get a phone call, ignore it unless it is absolutely necessary to answer it.
  • If you don't understand something, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. However, it is best to wait until she has finished her remarks. Try saying this, "Could you explain it to me further?" I am not sure I fully understand. "
Get a Girl to Open up to You when You're a Guy Step 2

Step 2. Don't be judgmental

Judgments can compromise communication when trying to convince someone to open up to us. If you want a girl to confide in you, avoid being judgmental when you speak.

  • The way women communicate differs from that of men, in that they are not always looking for advice or suggestions. When they speak, they are simply trying to express what they are feeling and to understand it. Therefore, it is better not to give advice if it is not specifically asked. It is enough to listen and try to understand the feelings of the other.
  • Being vulnerable comes down to expressing the most complex and embarrassing thoughts and feelings. Make your friend understand that you understand what she is feeling, even if it is unpleasant and that she should be able to express it without fear of any judgment on your part.
Get a Girl to Open up to You when You're a Guy Step 3

Step 3. Show him that you appreciate him

Tell her you like her when she trusts you. Sometimes people are afraid to open up because they don't want to overwhelm others. By showing a friend that you love that she feels comfortable talking to you, you can develop a healthy and comfortable relationship, which will help her to open up more.

Get a Girl to Open up to You when You're a Guy Step 4

Step 4. Ask open-ended questions

When you talk to a friend, you should ask her open-ended questions that promote mutual connection. Psychiatrists have developed 36 questions that promote intimacy and rapprochement between two interlocutors.

  • Some of them are funny, like the ones designed to break the ice. Here's an example: “If you could have dinner with someone, who would you choose and why? In a certain order, they become more and more serious. At the end of the day, you can even ask questions like, "What's your worst memory?" And "How do you feel about your relationships with others? "
  • Search the Internet for the complete list. Remember to ask these questions in the correct order. Normally it takes 45 minutes to put them all down.

Part 2 of 2: Understand their way of communicating

Get a Girl to Open up to You when You're a Guy Step 5

Step 1. Accepts communication differences between the sexes

Women and men tend to communicate differently. While there are arguably exceptions to this and not all individuals fall strictly into certain categories, in general it seems that there are some pretty obvious differences in communication between men and women.

  • Women want to confide in someone when they are feeling frustrated, while men prefer to offer practical solutions to problems. If a friend tells you that she is frustrated or sad about something, she is not expressing her feelings for a specific purpose. She does it just to let off steam. You don't need to offer her a solution - just try to listen to her and show understanding and empathy with her.
  • Women often explore their thoughts as they speak. If a friend tells you something that you find contradictory or confusing, don't tell her. She probably knows that her thoughts are not so clear and cohesive. She expresses such thoughts to better understand them. Give him time to express himself, even to digress, without trying to explain anything to him.
Get a Girl to Open up to You when You're a Guy Step 6

Step 2. Learn to participate effectively in difficult discussions

Sometimes you will find yourself involved in rather difficult conversations with your girlfriend or a friend. Try to figure out how to best handle the most difficult confrontations.

  • Determine when to raise the issue and express your intentions at the appropriate time. What do you hope to get from this discussion? What problems do you want to solve?
  • If some form of breakup or negativity sets in between the two of you, take your share of the blame. Remember that a relationship is not a one-way street, it is a two-way street. Don't try to explain or justify the role you played in a given situation. Try to understand instead of making yourself understood.
  • Be patient. It's okay to feel frustrated and impatient in a difficult conversation. If you can overcome these feelings and move forward to find a solution, you will be able to effectively resolve the problem.
Get a Girl to Open up to You when You're a Guy Step 7

Step 3. Examine Yourself

If you become aware of what makes you feel certain feelings and reactions, it will be easier for others to open up to you. Learn to identify your needs, your desires, your fears and your expectations. By knowing the factors that cause you to act out of fear, anger or uncertainty, you will be able to understand if you are interacting in a negative way with someone.


  • Go slowly. Rush is never helpful. It takes time to be intimate.
  • Make it clear to the person that you are looking for a serious relationship. Women and most people are more willing to communicate and open up if they know they have someone in front of them who is trying to build a strong friendship or relationship.

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