Everyone can improve their way of apologizing. Apologizing after a misstep can be tricky, as it requires some social and emotional sensitivity. Whether it's a natural or social inclination or a mixture of the two, boys and girls tend to have different apology needs. The recipe for a good apology to a boy includes sincerity, brevity, remorse, and a commitment to move on.
Part 1 of 3: prepare to offer a good apology
Step 1. Wait until you have time after an argument
If you are still under the adrenaline rush, it will be harder for you to express yourself properly when you want to apologize. Most men will understand that you need a little time, even if you are wrong.
For example, you could say, "I feel a little overwhelmed now, I need some time alone to calm down, we can talk about that when I come back." "
Step 2. Show empathy
Try to think about how he feels. If you've wronged them, ask yourself how it would feel if someone had done the same to you. Empathy for the person you have hurt is an essential part of the healing process.
Step 3. Avoid aggressive passive behavior
Many dating men and women often make the mistake of finding a reason for their excuses. If you get ready to say, “I'm sorry, but…” you know that's not a real apology.
Passive aggressive behavior can take many forms, for example sarcasm if you say, "I'm sorry for being such a bad girlfriend" or if you try to take your responsibility away by saying, "I'm sorry you did. 've got it wrong. "
Step 4. Bring up the topic
Once you've got your thoughts in order and prepared to apologize, you can think about the best way to approach the subject. Wait awhile when it's not busy, when you're alone, and when you're not in a rush. A long drive can be a great time or in the evening during dinner. Say something like, “If this is the right time, I would like to apologize for what I did. »Don't beat around the bush.
If he tells you it's not a good time, don't push it and wait for a better time. If he tells you it's not a good time because he's still mad at you, let him know without stretching out that you understand that he's upset with you and that you'll wait until he's ready. to talk about it
Part 2 of 3: expressing regret
Step 1. Express your regrets and remorse
Look him in the eye and say, “I'm sorry,” including the reason for your apology. It is important that you make it clear to him that you understand the way in which you have hurt him. By including the thing that happened in your sentence, you show him that you listened to him and that you took his thoughts into account.
For example, if you apologize for yelling at him for something that was not his fault, you could say, "I'm sorry I got mad at you last night because of something that you were not responsible. You felt like I didn't care about your feelings and was only selfishly trying to selfishly vent my anger on someone, I understand that. "
Step 2. Take responsibility for your actions
Instead of sharing your reason for acting the way you did, for now, you should avoid telling her what you think. If you make excuses for your behavior, you're going to make her feel like you're not really sorry.
- For example, instead of saying, “I'm sorry I behaved like this. I was only frustrated with what happened at work and I had a headache that put me in a bad mood,”you should only say,“I'm sorry for my behavior. I was not allowed to behave this way with you. "
- If he wants to know why you did this, he can ask you. At that point, you can give him an explanation.
- Apologies that don't seem sincere often express regret for getting caught instead of remorse.
Step 3. Recognize the possible consequences
For example, if you tell him, “I understand that it may be difficult for you to trust me,” you will help him understand that you have taken into account how your actions will affect him. You better let him know that you don't expect him to completely forgive you right away.
Step 4. Keep it concise
Use short, direct sentences for anything you want to say to her. Express your remorse and acknowledge the consequences of your actions without being too elaborate. This will give him the time necessary to say what he has on his mind and avoid any miscommunication.
Part 3 of 3: move on
Step 1. Suggest repairs
While this does not apply to small incidents, it is a solution that can help in more serious situations. The best way to do this is to tell him how you are going to change your behavior or habits in the future.
You can also ask him what he would like you to improve, letting him know that you take his comments seriously
Step 2. Give her the opportunity to speak
Try to keep your apologies short and sweet. It will be less confusing and it will allow you a better conversation. A good apology should be a dialogue, not a monologue.
Step 3. Try not to get defensive
Chances are he still feels angry. It is important that you remain calm during your apology. Listen to him and tell him that you regret what happened if you feel it is necessary, but don't take the opportunity to argue again.
Step 4. Move on
Stop talking about it once he accepts your apology. Men often find it easier to accept an apology and move on with no hard feelings, which is why you shouldn't talk about it again unless it becomes a problem again.