How to comfort a crying person: 12 steps (with pictures)

How to comfort a crying person: 12 steps (with pictures)
How to comfort a crying person: 12 steps (with pictures)

You may find that your coworker or friend repeatedly cries or seems upset. You may want to help someone in this condition, but you may not know how or where to start. The first important thing in these kinds of situations is to show that you care about the other person. Offer them all the help you can and do whatever it takes to meet their needs. You will also need to ask a few questions to make sure the person feels safe or to determine if they need anything. Generally speaking, you need to be generous in devoting your time to her and giving her the opportunity to communicate what is on her mind. However, you need to avoid pressuring her to speak out.


Part 1 of 3: Making yourself useful

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Step 1. Make yourself available

More often than not, there is very little you can say or do that will be of real benefit. The words are not very comforting. In most cases, the most important thing to do is to be right by your side. Your time and physical presence are generally more appreciated when an acquaintance is going through difficult times. So you have to make the effort to devote your time to it.

Stay with the person and make them realize that you are there for them and that you are supportive. You don't need to talk a lot, just being there is enough, especially if the person feels they lack support

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Step 2. Make sure the person feels safe

People are generally afraid of shedding tears in the presence of other people, because they believe that society views crying as a sign of weakness. When you notice your loved one starts to cry in public, suggest that they step aside and move to a more private place. This can help ease any embarrassment he feels. For example, you can direct it to an empty room, in the car or in the toilet. Being in a private place can make her feel safe and overcome all of her emotions.

  • If he feels uncomfortable, you can ask him the following question: "Would you like to go somewhere more private? For example, you can take it to a separate room, in the car, in the toilet or anywhere else. However, you must make sure that she is not in the presence of several dozen other people.
  • If you are still young (that is, you are in college or high school), you should avoid taking your partner to a place you are not supposed to go, such as a gym. empty class where no one teaches. You will also need to make sure that you can find your way back, because if there is one thing for sure, you don’t want to be in trouble.
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Step 3. Give a handkerchief to your crying loved one

If you have a handkerchief with you or know of a place where you can get one, suggest that you buy one for him. Crying often makes the nose and face feel wet, and just handing that crying person a tissue is a sign that you want to help. In case there are no handkerchiefs on hand, just offer to buy some for him.

  • You can put it this way, "Would you like me to bring you a handkerchief?" "
  • At times, handing a handkerchief to the crying person directly lets them know that you want them to stop crying. In these kinds of situations, you need to be careful about how your actions may be viewed, especially when the person is very upset or going through a breakup or death.

Part 2 of 3: Meeting Your Needs

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Step 1. Let the person cry

It has never been helpful to tell someone to stop crying, or to try to convince them that there is no point in shedding tears for such a situation. In fact, crying makes people feel better. It is much better to express the emotions you feel than to keep them within yourself, as repressed emotions can lead to mental illnesses such as depression. So if you see someone crying, it's best to let them cry. You should also avoid using words like “don't cry” or “why are you crying? This is just a small, irrelevant story. " Keep in mind that the person is sharing a vulnerable moment with you and as such, you should allow them to say what needs to be expressed without asking them what to feel.

There may be times when you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed around someone who is crying. If this happens, you need to remember that your role is to offer help that will be helpful and that ultimately the attention should not be on you

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Step 2. Ask him what he needs

There may be times when your crying loved one wants you to be able to stay by their side and listen to them, or they may also need some space to be on their own for a bit. You should avoid assuming that you know what he needs when you have no idea. Asking this person what they want and need allows them to take control and gives you the ability to listen and then respond. No matter what she needs or asks, just respect what she says.

  • You can ask some questions, such as: "What can I do to help?" ", Or" how can I support you? "
  • In case the person asks you to go away, just walk away without hesitation. You should refrain from saying things like, "But, you need my help!" Instead, you can say this: "Okay, but if you need anything, write to me or give me a call." Just understand that people need to be alone at certain times.
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Step 3. Give it time

You should avoid giving the impression that you are in a hurry or that it is important that you can go about other things. Providing support to your loved one means being there by their side and giving them your time. If you are there to comfort someone who is crying, you need to be able to give them the time they need. Know that your presence alone can be a source of comfort, and staying by his side to make sure he is able to manage his day or to help him may be what he needs most.

Avoid retiring after a while to go about your business. Stay by his side and tell him you'll be there if he needs you. Even if you have to go to work, giving you a few extra minutes won't hurt

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Step 4. Show affection if you want to

If you know your friend enjoys hugs, don't hesitate to give them a hug. However, if he is likely to be more reserved physically, then you can pat him on the back or not touch him at all. If you are helping a stranger, it is best to ask them if they want physical contact. If you are unsure about this, ask if he would like to receive a hug or if you can hold his hand. In case the other does not want physical contact, just refrain.

You can ask the following question, "Will I give you a hug?" Friends or family members may appreciate physical contact more than strangers, and for this reason you need to be careful not to make the person more uncomfortable

Part 3 of 3: Talk about your problem

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Step 1. Avoid forcing the other person to speak out

The crying person may not feel like speaking or may be in shock. You should therefore avoid forcing him to speak if he does not seem to be ready or willing to do so. He won't always want to share his problems, especially if you are not very close. If you can't find a topic to discuss, don't feel pressured to say something important. Just being by his side and saying (or implying) "I'm here to support you" is more than enough.

  • You can comfort someone who never tells you what's upset them. Be aware that this kind of thing can happen and it is quite normal.
  • You can simply express yourself this way, "Talking about an issue would make you feel better. In case you want to talk, know that I am fully available”.
  • Avoid reacting or passing judgment. The affected person who is crying will behave more reserved towards you if they notice that you are reacting or passing judgment.
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Step 2. Listen carefully

Use your listening skills and be ready to give your friend your undivided attention. Refrain from continuing to ask questions if you ask him what's wrong and he doesn't respond. Just take whatever he says and focus on listening to support him. In fact, listening carefully to someone is like giving them your undivided attention and being attentive to what they are saying as well as how they are expressing it.

Improve your listening skills by making eye contact and responding without judgment

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Step 3. Keep your attention on the crying one

You might think that saying “I just went through such a situation” will be helpful and help bring people together, but the reality is that this way of expressing yourself draws more attention to you and not to the person you are supposed to be. comfort. Worse, it can make you look like you're rejecting her feelings. So you need to keep the conversation focused on your loved one who is being tried. In case he decides to say what makes him cry, you should let him speak and not interrupt.

You might be very eager to empathize or make a statement that relates to your life, but you should resist it unless the other asks you to. Keep in mind that your role is to comfort and help him

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Step 4. Avoid rushing to come up with solutions

When the person cries or is upset about a situation, you should avoid trying to resolve the problem immediately. In your posture, it is important that you do less chatter, but you need to listen more. They may not even express what is bothering them, and this is quite normal. It is not your job to find a solution to their problems.

  • Remember that crying is not the effective way to solve her problem, but rather a way to express her emotions. So allow him to do it and don't interfere.
  • It might be difficult if you yourself make a frequent effort to avoid crying. Also, keep in mind that crying is not a sign of weakness.
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Step 5. Encourage him to see a psychologist if he needs support

If this person consistently has trouble dealing with their emotions, then it might be time for them to see a psychologist. Her problems might overwhelm you or you might find that the situation she is going through will be best appreciated by a psychologist. Use moderation in your recommendations, but make sure you let her know that it might be a good idea.

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