In everyday life, we meet different people. Going to get the bread, you can see your neighbor and exchange a few words. As part of his work, a verbal exchange between colleagues, with his boss or even a client happens every day. In the street, you may come across a tourist who needs information. All of these little moments are important in social life, but it's not always easy to have a conversation with everyone. Do not panic ! It is within everyone's reach to become a good interlocutor.
Part 1 of 3: start a discussion
Step 1. Be outgoing
To make people want to talk to you, your body and your face first and foremost must express that you are approachable and inclined to talk. Present a smiley face and appear relaxed. This will make it easier for people to talk to you.
- Observe your surroundings and make eye contact with your acquaintances. When a person returns your eye contact, smile at them. Don't constantly stare at your phone and avoid crowds. Some people might think you have better things to do than be there and will not try to approach you.
- Do not cross your arms or legs.
- Stay smiling, have your eyebrows slightly raised, tilt your head a little bit. Here are some aspects of your outgoing side that will get people to talk to you.
Step 2. Be entrepreneurial
If no one is coming your way to chat, take the first step and go talk to the people. Depending on the context and the place, you will establish a first exchange with one of your acquaintances or with a complete stranger.
- If you come into contact with someone you've seen before, show that you haven't forgotten them. For example, you could say to her: The last time you saw each other your wife was about to give birth. Are you the father of a girl or a boy?
- During a first contact with a person who is acquainted with one of your friends. You can start the discussion by referring to that friend you have in common. And so, you can start a conversion with this person by addressing the connection that exists with this shared knowledge.
- If the meeting takes place in a professional setting. Introduce yourself and say what you do in your business. The person in return will do the same. To continue the conversation, depending on the activity of your interlocutor, you can ask him for an opinion on a subject to which he is accustomed or you can exchange on the common points of your respective companies.
- Whatever your reason for talking to this person, you can share your thoughts on the event you are attending. You can bring up subjects that may be in common, if you are of the same generation.
Step 3. Ask to be introduced to another person
As part of a party, if you feel too nervous to approach someone you want to chat with, ask the host or a common acquaintance to introduce you to them. It is a simple way and which can be reassuring for a first contact.
Step 4. Forget the fear of talking to a stranger
Very often, people do not dare to approach a complete stranger to discuss the time of a bus trip, for example. The idea would come from the fact that people imagine that they are going to annoy the person. According to a recent survey on the subject, people who have had a conversation with a stranger are more cheerful as a result of their conversation. So, fear not. Go for it!
- To be more and more comfortable chatting with strangers, you need to interact as often as possible. You can exchange a few words with the person who is waiting at the same time as you for the bus, for example. The more often you will seek contact with people, the more natural and easy it will become for you. Don't worry if it's not always a success.
- When you approach someone, you might not have a clue to start a conversation. Keep it simple! Start by talking about the weather or the last event that has just had in the city. Another approach would be to ask the person for information. You can also compliment the person on their dress or on their children, or even the dog. You are free to say something that will establish the first contact.
Step 5. Start with a simple topic
A simple topic to start a conversation can seem irrelevant and boring. However, it should be seen as a way to get to know the person better. So when you have a better idea of who the person is, it is possible for you to move the conversation forward.
When starting a conversation about a topic like your hobbies, there may be times when the person expresses their passion for a hobby you have in common. As a result, the conversation can evolve towards that point in common that you have. Note that without having started a conversation, a little embarrassing at first, you would never have known that you had something in common with this person
Step 6. Know your goal
If you are interacting with people for the right purpose of relationship, allow the conversation to develop on its own. On the other hand, if you need specific information, steer the discussion little by little towards your objective.
- Always start your conversation, whatever your goal, with a short introduction, followed by a trivial discussion on a common topic. Thus, the person will open up easier. Pay attention to what the person is doing before slowly bringing the conversation to your goal.
- Depending on the topic you want to discuss with a person, make sure the person is available to discuss that topic with you. Note that if it is a sensitive or private subject, check beforehand that the environment in which you are is well suited.
- When you know that the person will not have time to develop the topic you want to bring up with them, just start a conversation on a simple topic and let them know that you would like to speak with them at greater length on another topic when. it will be available. At the same time, give him your business card or your contact details so that you can have a new exchange later.
Part 2 of 3: Become a good interlocutor
Step 1. Maintain eye contact
When having a conversation with a person, think about eye contact. It is important to maintain it constantly during the discussion. If you are not looking at the person and are still observing around you, the person may think that you are not interested in the topic of the conversation.
Step 2. Pay attention and take an interest in the person
Someone you show interest in will be more likely to chat with you. Show it by listening to the person and asking questions, because you want to know more.
- When you start to discover the person, ask them questions about their interests, their family, their work.
- Don't make closed-ended questions. The person you are chatting with may be shy or not used to having conversations. If you are at a restaurant, don't directly ask whether or not the person likes something. Open by asking for an opinion and no by asking a question that will only be answered yes or no. Questions that begin with "What is your opinion on", "What do you think of" or even "What is your point of view on? "
- Remember to orient your answer according to what the person is saying and not according to you. The person may tell you that it is difficult for them to exercise because they are too tired for the rest of the day. Do not say that for you it is easy, but rather take care of the person and tell them that they are very courageous to continue.
- Show your interest in the conversation by punctuating occasionally with exclamations of approval, encouragement, congratulations when the person is explaining something.
Step 3. Pay attention to what you don't want to talk about
It is of course important not to bring up subjects like politics. There may be other subjects that may seem trivial to you, but which will be painful to bring up for the person you are talking to. So pay close attention to the person and try to see which subjects to avoid.
If you find that the person has recently lost someone close to them, avoid topics that deal with family or close friends. Start the conversation on hot topics like travel
Step 4. Stay positive
People won't want to argue with you if it's to hear you complain about this or that. Approach the discussion on positive topics, even if you don't feel very motivated to do so. You have to stay pleasant so that people want to exchange.
- Keep smiling throughout the conversation and occasionally, when it's appropriate, have a laugh.
- If it's hard for you to stay cheerful, ask the person questions that will change your mind, such as their next vacation destination.
- Sometimes it is okay to bring up more serious matters. In particular, if you have it in common with your interlocutor. It could be a friend who is in the hospital. It will therefore be fashionable to express his feelings towards him and to wish a speedy recovery. Be careful not to stay too long on delicate subjects. People might not want to continue the conversation, or even avoid you afterwards.
Step 5. Introduce yourself succinctly
Whether it's as part of your job or making new friends, it's good for people to know who you are. If you can impress them with your profile, they'll be excited to chat with you at a future opportunity. However, remain vigilant and measured about aspects of your private life or your point of view on sensitive subjects.
- During a discussion, if you start to speak too much, try to give the other hand back. To do this, ask him questions and listen to him. A simple way is to relaunch the subject you are expressing, but depending on who you are talking to. For example, if you were presenting your ideas as part of your work, challenge him about his work.
- When you express something that makes you stand out, don't try to add it, keep it simple. People enjoy chatting with people who are humble.
Step 6. Stay positive
Sometimes some people don't want to talk to you, don't take it the wrong way. It could be a private or business issue that makes the person unwilling to chat with anyone. Leave the person by remaining pleasant. So you don't close the door on another occasion or in another place to chat with that person again.
Step 7. Conveniently end a conversation
When you leave someone and the discussion ends, thank them for the time they gave you and let them know that you enjoyed chatting with them. If you are at a party and want to stop a conversation with a person, without leaving the premises, be kind enough to thank the person and offer to continue at another time in the evening. Say something like this for example.
- “It's really nice to know you, but I just saw someone I need to talk to. Maybe we can continue our conversation later? "
- “I'm going to go shopping. It is a pleasure to have met you. "
Part 3 of 3: Meet People
Step 1. Go out and meet others
You may be nervous and have trouble finding your words when you speak with someone for the first time. Be aware that this is very common. Many people feel uncomfortable when they meet people, but that doesn't mean they stay locked in their homes.
- Consider that the more people you meet, despite your anxiety, the more comfortable you will be seeing new people.
- Realize that no one can guess that you lack self-confidence when meeting new people. Put aside your doubts and anxieties. Go to the others! The more outgoing you are, the more people will think of you as a confident person.
Step 2. Educate yourself
If you are planning to go to a party where you need to attend a business meeting. Take the time to find out who will be attending. This way, you will know who you need to interact with and therefore be more confident.
- For a professional meeting, it is always possible to find information on the internet on current activities or related to the event. For a dinner at a friend's house, all you have to do is ask the host beforehand about the guests who will be present.
- If you can't come up with interesting information about the people you need to meet, try to imagine what those people might be interested in.
- For example, you go to a party organized by your school. Remember to ask other students about their favorite subject or what they think they will do at the end of their studies. You will be able to break the ice and have a good evening.
Step 3. Stay informed
Don't be afraid to run out of conversation. Listen, watch the news on what's going on in the world and in your city. So, by staying on top of the news and events around you, you will always find something to say when you meet someone, even if the subject is basic like the new bakery that has just opened instead of l. old butcher.
Avoid discussing sensitive topics like politics with people you've just met. Some will not want to talk about it and the conversation will cut short. Others will be so inclined to debate that it could go on for a long time
Step 4. Be captivating
As a bonus on board, this may seem difficult to you. However, you must have subjects that fascinate you such as sports, travel or the last movie that you liked in the cinema. You will easily find interesting information to tell your interlocutor on a subject that is important to you.
- When you are looking for interesting things to say, think about things that others will be able to visualize. So take a test by imagining questions that would lead your interlocutors to enter the conversation. If you're curious about new culinary flavors, let your audience know about your passion and ask if they have a restaurant they like to go to frequently. As a rule, anyone can provide an answer on this topic.
- It is good to think about the different topics you want to bring up. However, do not try to structure the development of the conversation on your topic in stages. You have to stay natural and let yourself be carried away by the exchange. You cannot anticipate future responses. Unroll your arguments over the comments of your interlocutors.
Step 5. Decode the physical reactions of your interlocutor
During an exchange with a person, the more you can understand the body language of the other person, the better able you will be to converse with the person. Detect through contact with an individual when it is possible to initiate a discussion and when it is best to avoid bringing it up.
- If you see someone in a hurry or carrying something, don't try to start a conversation. The person does not have time. Of course, if you plan to help her, it's possible to approach her and it's a good way to start a discussion.
- In a group chat you see a person standing aside to read or watch something on their phone, don't go bothering them. She wants to be alone.
- When you talk to someone, if you find that the person is irritated or not responding to you. It's best if you end the conversation or change the subject.
- When you call out to a person or say a word to a person to initiate a conversation and the person is not looking at you, it may be a sign that the person is unwilling to discuss.
- Have frequent conversations with different people, you will get to know more things, more people and you will progress without realizing it.Not to mention that the people you have made a good impression on will want to see you again.
- Know that compliments, when they are sincere, are very useful to start and develop a discussion.
- Ask someone you trust and who knows you well enough about their views on your ability to converse. Be objective! It will be constructive criticism.
- Don't try to create a discussion with someone by making fun of someone you don't know. The person you are chatting with may know them and will therefore be embarrassed. Also, don't attempt to taunt the person you're chatting with on top of being moved, the person might take it badly.