Most people cry, but women tend to cry more than men. If you find yourself in front of a woman who is crying, there are things you can do to make her feel better, whether it's your partner, a friend, or a co-worker. You can strengthen the bond between you by comforting her so that she and you feel better too.
Method 1 of 2: Comforting your partner or close friend
Step 1. Judge the situation
A woman can have countless reasons to cry. She may be grieving, she may be stressed, sick, or filled with joy. Before going any further, try to figure out what is going on and if you can go and comfort her. You should avoid going to comfort her in the following cases.
- If you are affected by the same situation as her. If you're upset, confused, or hurt by the situation that made her cry, you might not be the right person to comfort her. If so, you should instead turn to friends or family members for help and help as well.
- If she cries for joy. Scientists are not really sure what causes this situation, but when someone is filled with joy, they tend to cry uncontrollably, as if they are afraid or sad. In these kinds of situations, it would be better for you to praise her instead of trying to comfort her.
- If she is crying because you had a fight. Before going to see her to comfort her, you should calm down for a while so that the argument does not start again.
Step 2. Make the decision to comfort her
Unless there is a good reason that is preventing you from comforting her, you should make an effort to help a crying woman. You might hurt her emotional well-being if you ignore her while she cries. Choosing to comfort her will help her stop crying faster, and you will also make your relationship stronger.
Step 3. Know how to listen
This is an extremely important thing. Tears are an important form of communication and you should be careful what she is trying to tell you. Use active listening skills, such as verbally affirming what she is telling you and avoiding interrupting her.
- Remember that comforting someone does not mean that you should try to change how the person is feeling.
- Be especially careful not to bring the discussion back to you, you have to make it the center of your conversation. You are not the one crying. Even if she doesn't behave the way you would like to, that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve comfort or that she deserves to be sad.
- Avoid phrases like "if I were you", "have you tried" and "when it happened to me, I didn't make a big deal out of it".
Step 4. Don't minimize her pain and tell her not to cry
Tears can often be a positive gesture even if they have been caused by something painful. Crying can provide both physical and emotional relief to a sad or stressed person. You may not be able to heal if you suppress your crying. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, let her cry as much as she needs to. She will feel better after doing it.
- In general, avoid giving orders or speaking negatively. Avoid phrases like "don't cry", "you shouldn't be sad" and "that doesn't sound so bad".
- You won't help him by pretending you have the answer to everything. Don't tell her directly what you think she should or shouldn't do in order to solve her problems. Don't say you know how she is feeling and how to fix it, it will make her feel stupid.
- People who cry because of a mental illness like severe anxiety or depression may feel even worse after they cry. If you think she is crying because of a mental illness, you should still offer your comfort and support, but you should also suggest that she see a doctor for proper treatment.
Step 5. Confirm his sadness
Show him that you understand his pain by acknowledging the legitimacy of his pain and your sympathy. Here are some phrases you could use.
- It's terrible, I'm sad about what is happening to you.
- I understand that it must be painful for you.
- It sounds very frustrating, I'm sorry.
- It is not surprising to be upset. It really sounds like a difficult situation.
- I'm sorry this is happening to you.
Step 6. Use nonverbal reassurance techniques
A crying person might recognize your attempts to comfort them if you use non-verbal language instead of verbal language instead. By nodding, using facial expressions, looking her in the eye, and leaning forward, you can help her understand that you care and worry about her.
While she could understand that you want to take care of her by offering her a tissue, it could also make her realize that you want her to stop crying. Only give her a handkerchief if she asks for one or seems to be looking for one
Step 7. Consider whether physical contact is appropriate
Some people find comfort in physical contact while it makes others more anxious. You can offer to give her a hug if you know it can have a positive effect. Hugs can help relieve stress. It might also be appropriate to hold her hand, touch her on the shoulders, run your hand through her hair, or kiss her on the forehead. Use good judgment based on what you know about her, her preferences, limitations, and your relationship, and always let her decide what to accept. Make sure you are there when she asks you to.
You can also observe her body language to determine if she might be open to physical comfort. Defensive body language like clenched fists, crossed arms and legs, or gazing that avoids yours may mean that she would prefer you to step back a bit
Step 8. Avoid escaping the situation
It can be disturbing to be around someone who is crying. You can then react by saying something thinking you can help her without really knowing what to say, which is usually a way out of the situation, and that will only make it worse. If you're not sure what to say, try a phrase like "I'm sorry you're sad, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" This will at least show her that you care, which can make her feel a little better.
Step 9. Offer help, not solutions
Let her choose what she wants you to do. It's easy to find yourself stuck trying to make things right for you. However, she might not want your help, or she might need something other than what you think she is. The last thing you want is to make it worse. Resist the urge to solve her problems when all she wants is for you to comfort and support her.
- Let her know that you are there to help her, not to force her. She might need help just to talk about what she's going through. Sometimes the best way to comfort someone is to just listen to them.
- Ask open-ended questions to see if you can help, for example, "Is there anything I can do to help you?" "Or" I would love to help you, if there is anything I can do, don't hesitate ". This could be a great way to start the conversation and find out how you can help her.
- Sometimes a person can get so upset that they won't be able to suggest ways to help them. If so, try making a list of things you can do to comfort her. For example, you could ask her if she'd like you to go for ice cream together, or if she'd like to come over to your house later to watch a movie together. See if she responds positively to any of the suggestions you offer her.
Step 10. Make an effort to help her if it is appropriate
While you shouldn't be trying to solve her problems, there may be more tangible and specific things you can do to ease her pain. If there are a number of ways that you can make her forget about her worries (and if she seems to want to), there are a number of ways that you can offer to help her.
For example, if she is crying because she is stressed at work, you may suggest that she take care of the housekeeping to give her more time to concentrate on her work. If she is crying because she had a fight with a friend, you might want to talk to her about ways to make her relationship better
Step 11. Check later to see if she is better
After several days or weeks, contact her to make sure she is okay. Don't ask her too many personal questions, such as inviting her for coffee, asking her how she is, or calling her a little more often. She might get over it quickly, but she might also need more time to get over her sadness. You will help her a lot by showing her that you support her.
Step 12. Take care of yourself
It's important to empathize with her, but it's just as important not to feel upset or depressed. Remember to take care of yourself and ask others for help if you need it!
Method 2 of 2: Comfort an acquaintance or co-worker
Step 1. Show your empathy
In general, people prefer to cry in front of loved ones, and not in front of strangers, coworkers, or casual acquaintances. If you are not close and she is crying in front of you, she may not be feeling very well and needs sympathy. It's all the more important that you react with empathy instead of showing her that she annoys you, freaks you out, or scares you.
Step 2. Let her cry
If she wants you to stay near her, let her cry. Don't try to force her to stop crying or suggest that she contain herself. Tears are natural and healthy, they can help relieve stress and pain.
- Remember that just because she cries at work doesn't mean that she is unprofessional. Most people cry from time to time, which is why they will necessarily cry once or twice at work.
- Say things to reassure her if she looks embarrassed, for example: "it's okay to cry" or "you mustn't feel embarrassed to cry, it's something human ! "
Step 3. Show her that you are available if she wants to talk
Since you don't know her well, she might not want to give you too many details. But you can still listen to it. Ask her questions and use your body language to show her that you are ready to listen to her if she wants to. For example, you could tell him.
- I know we're just co-workers, but I'd be happy to be your friend if you feel like talking. Do you want to talk?
- My door is always open if you need to talk about something difficult.
- Is there anything I can do for you? Even if it's not about work, I'll be happy to hear from you.
Step 4. Listen actively
If she decides to talk to you about her problems, listen carefully to show her that you pay attention to what she is saying. This means that you should not interrupt her or give her suggestions, that you should ask her questions only to confirm what you understood from what she said, to look her in the eye, and to avoid distractions.
Step 5. Show him your empathy, but keep it professional
You should behave like a human being and show her that you care about them without overstepping professional boundaries. After all, your professional relationship will continue after this incident.
For example, you shouldn't offer to give her a hug unless she asks you to. If you want to see her after work to see how she's doing, you should ask her if she doesn't mind
Step 6. Offer your help with work-related topics
Your coworker may be crying because she is stressed from work or she is going through a personal issue that is preventing her from working well. In any case, if you can help him professionally, you might find solutions for him.
- For example, you could take some free time or you could help her organize herself for a difficult job task.
- However, you should only act if she asks you to act. It's easy to try and make things the way that feels right for you. However, she might not want help or she might need something else. The last thing you want is to make it more difficult.
- Try not to interfere too much in his personal affairs. Don't feel like you have to deal with your work colleague's personal problems. Also, if you don't know her well, don't assume that you know how to deal with her problems. Be there to comfort and listen to her, and focus on the problems at work.
- If you can't see any way to help her solve her problem, apologize and tell her that there is nothing you can do to help her. If you know of someone who could solve their problem, recommend that they go talk to them and ask for help.
- Whatever happens, the most important thing to do when a woman is crying is to listen to her and show her your empathy. You can do other kind gestures too, like inviting her to dinner, offering her coffee, inviting her to see a movie, but your presence and attention are the best gifts you can give her.
- Remember that her crying is not a problem to be solved, but a form of communication that you need to be attentive to.
- Crying can make others uncomfortable, but try to work through the feeling to show her that you care.
- Crying is generally very healthy, but it can also be a sign of a more serious problem such as an anxiety disorder, phobia, or depression. If she cries constantly and cannot calm down, you should suggest that she see a professional.
- Comforting a crying person is also a healthy, positive, and loving act. But it can also have an impact on you. If you feel bad for comforting someone, take care of yourself by asking for help from people who can support you.