You've probably met a hypocritical person before, but how did you behave towards them? It can be tricky to relate to people you find hypocritical, as they are often unaware of the hypocrisy that characterizes them. It is often advisable to tolerate their attitude and move on, especially if it does not matter much. However, if you do decide to face them, be respectful and don't be judgmental.
Method 1 of 3: Identify hypocritical behavior
Step 1. Stay calm and don't give in to anger
Don't let that person's actions or words ruin your day or cause you to lose control. Take the time to breathe deeply, or count from 1 to 10 to calm yourself down and stay in control. If necessary, go outside for a few minutes to clear your mind.
Step 2. Ignore the moved exchanges
If you are in the middle of a discussion with someone and you know that you are not able to change the way they think or behave, try to just let go. Pointing out your hypocrisy is unlikely to benefit you or the person you're talking to. Identify his hypocritical behavior at your level and get on with your day.
Step 3. End the conversation if you cannot tolerate his attitude
Admit that the person you're talking to is a hypocrite and slip away from the discussion if you start to be affected by their attitude. Take your distance to help you stay calm and avoid confrontation.
- You don't have to walk away looking bad! Smile and say your last words briefly, then remove yourself from the discussion as soon as possible.
- For example, you can say this: "I'm late for class, I have to go!" Or "I'm going for a bite to eat." Bye ".
Step 4. Avoid confrontation if the attitude is minor and harmless
If the person is hypocritical about a lesser topic and isn't hurting anyone, just admit it and move on. This is even more important when you are dealing with someone you see on a daily basis as a classmate, teammate, and co-worker. His demeanor may be unpleasant, but it's not worth making a big deal out of it or complicating the situation further.
Method 2/3: Ignore the hypocritical attitude
Step 1. Support the person for a moment if necessary
Sometimes you have no choice but to deal with someone's hypocritical behavior. If the attitude bothers you so much, but there's nothing you can do about it, bear with it for a short while and then try to let it go. It can work if you don't see the person often.
For example, this can be done if the person in question is a distant friend or family member
Step 2. Ignore it if you don't have any proof
It can be difficult to "surprise" a hypocrite because chances are you don't have all the elements. Unless you have proof of someone's hypocrisy, try to control your emotions and ignore their behavior.
As an illustration, suppose you suspect your friend of not recycling when he is just talking about the importance of the practice. Don't get carried away by the urge to prove his hypocrisy. You're not sure if he's recycling, but it's not worth a confrontation
Step 3. Spend less time with hypocrites
You don't have to blatantly ignore them, but keep a respectable distance. Avoid dating these people only in their company or having conversations with them one-to-one about things that might provoke you.
For example, if it is a moralizing uncle with repulsive ideas, avoid talking about his personal life. If you continue to chat with him, limit contact and do not bring up anything controversial
Method 3 of 3: Confront a hypocritical person
Step 1. Judge the seriousness of the hypocritical words
Hypocrisy can be relatively harmless or very harmful. If this behavior is on a small scale and is more of a hassle than anything else, don't be fooled by it. However, if this affects you or someone else is affected in a major way, take it seriously and consider facing the person.
- For example, if your friend likes a band and refuses to admit it in front of popular students because the band members aren't "cool," that's okay.
- Suppose someone you know constantly talks about tolerating all races and genders. However, in private you have heard him make harmful racist comments. This is more serious.
Step 2. Face the person respectably
If you think confrontation is the right thing to do, then confront this person in a civilized and peaceful manner. Approach the question with the “sandwich” technique, mentioning between two positive comments what you have to say about his behavior.
For example, if you want to confront your racist loved one, say this: “Bernard, I don't really know you, but you've always been very kind to me. You say you tolerate everyone, but I heard you say racist things to a friend of mine. I want to maintain my friendship with you, but it will not be possible if you behave in this way towards my friends”
Step 3. Express yourself using the personal pronoun “I”
Confronting a hypocritical person can be tricky. Use first person singular sentences as a way of talking about the problem without blaming or humiliating the other person. Sentences with "I" can help to argue less aggressively.
For example, you can say, “I'm really disappointed about this. I would have liked to understand your thoughts on this, but I can't "
Step 4. Be prepared for an emotional reaction
Sometimes you can have a positive outcome from confronting a hypocritical person, but the latter can be hostile. Be prepared for any possible negative reactions. Remember not to go with the flow if the person is trying to make the situation worse. React calmly while not raising your voice. If it is obvious that the person refuses to accept or is unable to realize their hypocrisy, you need to get used to it.