How to recognize signs of infidelity

How to recognize signs of infidelity
How to recognize signs of infidelity

You think your partner is cheating on you, you are not the only one. According to current statistics, 25% of husbands and 15% of wives have had sex outside of marriage. This figure rises to 20% when intimate or emotional relationships are taken into account. When you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, there are signs you can look for to try to determine if you have in fact been cheated. Your partner may be behaving unusually, or you may notice a change in his or her habits. There is no reliable way to spot cheating, but you will be able to observe your partner's actions to see if he is cheating on you and take action to either save or end the relationship.


Part 1 of 4: Evaluate Your Relationship

Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 1

Step 1. Take stock of the relationship

Think back to the entire journey of your relationship, to determine if it is still satisfying and happy for both of you. If you usually take the time to take a close look and think about your relationship with a critical mind, you may notice some alarming signs.

  • The most common warning is when your partner tells you that something is wrong, but you don't take it seriously. Here are some common phrases: This marriage isn't working, I need more than that, or I'm not happy.
  • The fact that there are more frequent arguments in a relationship can be a sign that the couple is in trouble. Whether these conflicts are the result of infidelity or the response to being in an unhappy relationship, arguing with your partner more often can be a sign that you need to get your relationship back together.
  • If your partner finds himself giving unconstructive criticism, it may be a sign that something is wrong. If he is clearly becoming critical and telling you things like going to a therapist, trying to lose weight, or going to the gym, he might be subconsciously forcing you to justify his infidelity.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 2

Step 2. Evaluate your spouse's physical behavior

If he is unfaithful, he may approach you less often or change his sexual behavior. He might become distant or distracted.

  • Try to see if your partner seems less inclined to want to have sex with you. If he receives affection from another person, he might be less likely to resent it from you.
  • Pay attention to the way your partner touches you throughout the day. Has he stopped holding your hand or showing signs of affection from time to time? A greater physical distance between you can also be a sign of a sentimental distance.
  • See if things are different during your intimate relationships. Your partner may demonstrate new sexual techniques that they have learned or tried with someone else.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 3

Step 3. Challenge yourself

Think about it, in case you haven't stopped neglecting or ignoring your partner and your relationship, or you haven't stopped treating them in an unfriendly way. Try to assess your own behavior by being honest with yourself and relying on another person's perspective.

  • If you neglect your partner, they will be more likely to seek affection and sexual satisfaction from someone else. A partner might get into a relationship just to try and get their partner's attention and prove to themselves that they are still desirable.
  • If you had spent a lot of time away from your partner or focused too much on your children, your partner might feel lonely and looking for companionship with someone who is available.
  • If you had been lacking in attention to your spouse, an outside relationship might be a way for them to get your attention again while increasing their self-confidence. Her infidelity could also be a way out of the relationship.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 4

Step 4. Trust your instincts

If your intuition tells you that your partner is cheating on you, listen to it. According to a recent story published in New Scientist magazine, our emotions emerge from our subconscious, so they tend to reflect more information than our rational mind. Essentially, it means that our instincts can help us avoid suffering. You might be collecting a few subtle signs, without even realizing it.

Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 5

Step 5. Chat with your partner

If you're worried about your partner having a side relationship, try chatting to find out where your relationship is. Thus, you can easily confirm your suspicions or resolve your doubts. You may not get the answer you want, but at least you have had the merit of approaching your spouse with honesty and frankness.

  • Pick a time when you are both relaxed and calm. If you start the discussion on a negative note, it will be difficult to have a productive conversation. Think about conversation and not confrontation.
  • Pick the perfect place to conduct your conversation. If you prefer to chat privately, choose a place where you can be alone. If you prefer a public place, have your partner walk with you or visit a nearby park. A public place, but easy to leave in case the situation becomes difficult is perfect.
  • Try to start the discussion by talking about yourself. Use neutral phrases like there's something bugging me or we're worried about our relationship. Start your sentences by using I and not you, so that your spouse is less responsive.
  • See if your spouse is looking to discuss your concerns. This is a good sign if he is trying to work on improving your relationship through dialogue or couple therapy.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 6

Step 6. Determine if it is worth it

If the discussion turns sour or you feel like your partner is lying to you, think about the relationship and think about what you want. Is it really worth continuing a relationship with someone you can no longer trust? If you suspect or think your partner is capable of breaking your heart and disappointing you, then maybe this relationship is not doing you good after all.

Part 2 of 4: look for physical changes in your partner

Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 7

Step 1. Pay attention to any physical changes

Any drastic physical change in your spouse's appearance could mean they are trying to impress a new conquest. This change could also mean that he is looking for a new partner.

  • Find out if your partner is replacing or changing their wardrobe. For example, if your partner is used to wearing athletic clothes, but suddenly starts to tailor clothes, it may be a sign of infidelity, especially if there has been no no significant event to justify this, such as a promotion at work.
  • It is possible that your partner will join a gym or workout more often to lose weight or tone their body in order to impress their new conquest. The latter could work out at the gym or come in frequently as well.
  • A sudden interest in how she looks and the urge to look impeccable are potential signs that your partner is trying to impress someone else.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 8

Step 2. Observe your spouse's grooming habits

The latter might be more careful with his toilet if he tries to charm a new person. Despite the fact that it is more normal these days to be careful with your toilet (whether in men or women), a sudden change in habit could be a red flag.

  • Find out if your partner washes more often, flosses more regularly, shaves more often, etc.
  • Pay attention to any new perfume, makeup, or cologne that your partner uses or that you have smelled on them. The old cliché of finding traces of lipstick on a man's neck has endured for good reason.
  • See if your partner has changed their hairstyle. Does he suddenly have a new look or has he started dyeing his hair another color?

Part 3 of 4: Conducting Investigations

Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 9

Step 1. See if your spouse's schedule has changed

See if your partner changes their habits. He could do this in order to adjust to the schedule of his new conquest or to spend more time with a new person. These changes could be big program permutations or small changes that happen suddenly.

  • Pay attention to the frequent excuses your partner gives you about their schedule, saying that they stayed late at work, that there was traffic, or anything else that explains why they are no longer. often at home.
  • If your partner suddenly feels like going out with their friends without you, this could be the perfect alibi for their time away from you. See if your spouse stops inviting you to trips or work parties.
  • Watch out for any sudden business trips or any other excuses he might give to justify being away for a rather long period of time.
  • On the other hand, if the fact that you are away no longer bothers your partner and they also seem to put up with the fact that you are working late and traveling, then it is likely that they are spending time with someone. else.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 10

Step 2. Try to get in touch with your partner

Do you suddenly have trouble reaching your partner? If you've tried to reach him a few times, but he doesn't pick up his phone, it could be a sign that your relationship is changing.

  • Your partner may find excuses for you not to pick up. He could make an excuse such as that he was out of the network coverage area or the phone had had a problem or, more commonly, the battery was dead.
  • Be on your guard if your partner tells you he's too busy to pick up your calls or tells you that it would be best if he or she contacts you.
  • Is his phone turned off when you used to reach him? Your partner may have put their phone on silent so they can spend time with another person undisturbed.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 11

Step 3. Pay more attention to what's new

Look out for any new or unusual items that your partner might leave lying around. He may leave compromising objects lying around that prove he is cheating on you, such as a bunch of keys from another person's apartment.

  • Review restaurant or shopping receipts in detail. Search his files to see if you stumble upon a business card, movie tickets, hotel room keys, and the like.
  • You may need to search your partner's car. Some unfaithful partners leave compromising objects lying around in the ashtray, under the seat or in the glove box.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 12

Step 4. Observe how your partner behaves with his computer

He may spend more time on his computer, chatting online, or visiting social networking sites more often.

  • Review your partner's social media accounts. See if he's been talking to anyone lately. Any frequent interaction with an ex can be a red flag.
  • Find out if your partner closes tabs or online sessions on the computer when you enter the bedroom, or if they regularly clear their browsing history.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 13

Step 5. Review bank statements or those from your financial institution

Your partner might start spending a lot on new activities or buying gifts for a new conquest.

  • Check to see if there have been any large withdrawals or purchases made in stores or other places that you rarely go to or that we have never been to.
  • Pay attention to any debit or credit card transaction from a restaurant or bar you haven't visited.

Part 4 of 4: observe how he uses his phone

Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 14

Step 1. See how much he attaches to his phone

Smartphones have made navigation easier than ever. If your partner is unusually attached to their phone, it may be because they are communicating with a new conquest.

  • Watch your partner to see if they are constantly holding the phone close, such as when taking a shower, using the bathroom, or taking out the trash. This may be a sign that he doesn't want you to be able to access his device.
  • Some partners can also change the security level of their phone by entering a lock code. This is probably intended to prevent you from accessing personal data like contacts or messages.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 15

Step 2. See if he's constantly using his phone

See if your partner is using their phone too much, whether it's answering or making excessive calls or writing text messages all the time. Keep in mind the times of day he makes calls or responds to messages and ask yourself if he always does it at that same time.

  • See if your partner acts weird when on the phone or writing, such as quickly cutting off when you walk into the bedroom. Is he trying to hide the message he's writing or even erase it after sending or receiving it?
  • If your partner spends his time whispering on the phone, he probably wants to avoid hearing what he's saying to someone else.
Spot Signs of Infidelity Step 16

Step 3. See if your partner has a second phone

If your partner is in a relationship outside, it's smart to pick up a second phone. With a secret phone, he wouldn't have to worry about leaving traces of nuisance calls.

  • Prepaid phones are cheap and easy to buy. If you see your spouse with a prepaid phone that was not bought for work or some other legitimate purpose, tell yourself that he may be doing something wrong.
  • If you are looking for a hidden phone, look in its pockets or in a bag. It is highly unlikely that your spouse will keep a phone secret somewhere for everyone to see.
  • When it comes to hiding a second secret phone, the car is the perfect hiding place. Look in the glove box or under the seat.
  • Pay attention to any new, unusual bills that come home. If your spouse has signed a contract with a telephone company to purchase a second telephone, there must be a bill. However, if he is the cautious kind, the invoice can be issued to him electronically.


  • Keep in mind that all of the above signs could be signs of infidelity, but they could also have completely innocent explanations. If your partner catches you watching him (checking his emails, looking in his phone or searching his pockets) or you accuse him of cheating, it could be causing you problems that weren't there before.
  • A man's signs of infidelity are much the same as a woman's. It's not just men who are unfaithful, although the term is often applied to them. Women are more likely to have emotional connections. Given the increasing number of economic and personal opportunities that present themselves to women, it is rather common to notice a certain independence even among married women. This growing degree of independence therefore results in a higher rate of unfaithful women.

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