Human beings are prone to doubt, anxiety and sometimes even paranoia. This is perfectly normal. Sometimes these doubts and anxious or paranoid thoughts can concern our relationship. To be more specific, your boyfriend might have doubts about your ability to stay loyal. Perhaps these thoughts arose from a specific incident or from what his friends might have told him. Either way, there are several things you can do to show your sweetheart that you aren't cheating on them, so they can relax.
Part 1 of 2: show your boyfriend that you are loyal
Step 1. Discuss your boyfriend's thoughts and feelings
If you suspect that your boyfriend thinks you are cheating on him, but he hasn't told you about it, ask if you can have a serious conversation with him. Let him know that you think something is bothering him and ask if he would like to talk to you about it. Tell him that you would like to be there for him, no matter what subject is bothering him and that you want to help him as much as you can. Listen to what he says to you by remaining open and try to limit your overreactions or your judgments.
- Ask him if there was a specific event or situation that made him think you were cheating on him. If so, discuss the details of the situation and ask him to explain to you what made him think you were cheating on him.
- Explain your perspective on the event or situation to him. Make sure you can understand that he misinterpreted the situation as a sign of infidelity and ask him what you could do to make sure it doesn't happen again.
- Discuss and find a solution so that this kind of misunderstanding never happens again. You might then need to change your behavior towards other men, or your boyfriend might promise to mention any situations that make him uncomfortable. Promise each other to be more open with each other in the future.
Step 2. Evaluate your actions and behavior
Once you have been able to discuss his thoughts with your partner, you will need to take a moment to assess your specific behaviors or actions that may have made him doubt. Is it possible that your actions were reprimandable? Did you lightly flirt with another boy without even thinking about it? Or were your actions perfectly reasonable and his reaction irrational?
- Now that you have a better understanding of your boyfriend's reaction, you will need to make a decision. Is he asking you to change your behavior and become a person that you are not? Is his request perfectly reasonable in view of the circumstances?
- If you want to make the relationship work, you will need to find a compromise with your boyfriend and change your behavior as far as is reasonable.
- If you feel like your boyfriend expects too much from you, see if this is really the kind of relationship you want to get into. Maybe your lover is overly protective and you need someone who gives you more independence. Perhaps your actions reflect your true feelings towards your partner, and you are not truly fulfilled by this relationship.
Step 3. Make it clear that you are incapable of being disloyal
To deceive someone requires the ability to betray, to lie, to cunning. Few people can do this without showing signs of anxiety or stress. Not to mention that some people are simply unable to lie as much as an infidelity demands. If your boyfriend thinks you are cheating on him, ask him to think about your personality. Would you really be able to be unfaithful? Are you really the type of person who could lie without blinking just looking someone in the eye?
In many cases, your boyfriend may already know "the truth" deep down inside him, without it stopping him from doubting. By giving him the opportunity to rethink the logic of his suspicion, you may be able to rid him of his doubts and insecurity
Step 4. Ask your partner to accompany you when you go out with a new friend
Have you recently become friends with someone? Did you have a good time with this new friend and maybe not enough with your sweetheart? Perhaps this change is the source of his doubts. Even if you can reassure him by telling him that you just have a new friend, he may still have doubts. Since you have nothing to hide, the next time you need to see your new friend, invite your boyfriend to join you.
Step 5. Show how happy you are when your partner is with you
When one partner is cheating on the other, there are usually signs that something is wrong. Lack of enthusiasm or communication within the couple is one. By showing your partner that you love spending time with them, that you want to see them as often as possible, that you like to do nothing special around them, and that you can communicate effectively, they'll realize they're wrong. to think you are cheating on him. Why would you spend so much time with someone you don't love that much? Why would you be so happy to see him if you'd rather see someone else?
Step 6. Point out that your sex life has not changed
Couples who don't have any problems generally have healthy sex lives. They try new experiences every now and then, but usually know what their partner likes and needs. Of course, either of you might be too tired or stressed to want to have sex on a certain night, but that shouldn't be the norm. If the sex life you share with your partner is fantastic and you both know how to communicate your desires, your boyfriend should understand that you are not cheating on him.
It is possible that your sweetheart is simply insecure. Maybe he thinks he's not satisfying you in bed, or that he did something that you didn't like. His mind might lead him to think right away that you are looking for someone better than him. He may need to be reassured and you tell him that he is doing very well in bed, or you may need to take the time to explain to him what you want
Step 7. Let your boyfriend rummage through your phone
Unfortunately, in our tech-packed world, electronic devices are often the cause of misunderstandings and doubts in romantic relationships. It could be a suspicious text message or an anonymous call. If your partner is worried that you are cheating on them because of something they saw on your phone or computer, ask them to explain to you exactly what they saw or heard. The situation probably has a perfectly reasonable explanation, but maybe your reaction to the situation has made it suspicious.
- Once you know what situations can cause your boyfriend to wonder, ask him if he would feel better if you showed him your texts and emails. Would he ask himself fewer questions if you showed him a particular message? If so, consider showing him the message that caused his doubts and explain the context.
- On the other hand, you shouldn't let your partner constantly monitor your messages to find out what you've been up to and with whom. Your phone remains your private property and your buddy will only have the right to snoop on it with your permission. It's important that you set a limit with your partner if you decide to show them something on your phone. And you will have to respect those same limits with him and his phone.
Step 8. Ask your partner if he really thinks, deep down, that you cheated on him
Our deepest instincts and feelings usually point us in the right direction. When we sense that something is wrong, chances are it is. Ask your boyfriend to take the time to think about if he seriously thinks you cheated on him. He could have had a doubt or have been paranoid about your loyalty, without having gone to the end of his thought and knowing very well, deep down, that you were not unfaithful. He may just need some time to think about the situation and realize his reaction.
Part 2 of 2: Keeping a Healthy Relationship
Step 1. Be reasonable in your arguments
Couples who are having problems generally tend to argue over everything and for nothing. Couples who are doing well argue, of course, but their arguments do not end in a general crisis. As a faithful girlfriend, prove to your girlfriend that if you argue, it's never the end of the world. If you cheated on him, your arguments would probably be much more serious.
Step 2. Be calm
Being unfaithful takes a lot of energy and usually gives rise to feelings of guilt and anxiety. If you cheated on your boyfriend, chances are you are showing signs of depression, anxiety, and guilt. If you're a calm person who doesn't seem worried about dating, how could your boyfriend think you were cheating on him?
- Ask him if you've ever been upset for no reason when he asks you for something (for example, where you have been). If you've always given a reasonable explanation for your schedule, why is he worried?
- Ask if you have had any inexplicable mood swings unrelated to your cycle or obvious external events (like family or work issues). If you've never exploded in anger for no reason, why would he think you're cheating on him and feel guilty about it?
Step 3. Take your relationship seriously
Someone who cheated on their partner would not try to move their relationship forward. If you and your boyfriend often talk about your future or where you will be in 20 years, you are unlikely to cheat on him. These are not the kind of conversations that a cheating partner would want to have. If you cheated on your boyfriend, you will probably try to avoid this kind of discussion.
Step 4. Invite your boyfriend to family meals
One of the last things a cheating girlfriend would do is invite the boyfriend she's cheating on to family meals to introduce him to everyone. To do this, consider offering your boyfriend to accompany you to family events. Encourage your parents and siblings to communicate directly with him. Brag about your partner's success in front of your loved ones. Suggest that your family members add your boyfriend to Facebook.
It could be the same in the other direction. Be enthusiastic about meeting his family, develop personal relationships with those close to him (perhaps with his mother or sister)
Step 5. Share your secrets with your boyfriend
If you cheated on your partner, you would probably stop confiding in them all kinds of things. Since you are not cheating on your boyfriend, be sure to confide your worries to him. Tell him secrets that you have never told anyone. Share your fears with him. Show him that you have complete confidence in him by telling him intimate and even awkward things.
Step 6. Avoid comparing your boyfriend to other men
Perhaps you have already done it and this is why your partner has doubts about your loyalty. It might have been a joke, but he took the pike to heart. No one likes to be compared to someone else to bring out their own imperfections. Just because someone is stronger, bigger, funnier, doesn't mean your partner should change in any way. If you've accidentally compared your boyfriend to someone else, apologize and promise not to again.
Step 7. Compliment your boyfriend every day
Everyone loves compliments! These help us feel good about ourselves, because they are proof that someone is giving us attention and making the effort to recognize our qualities. Compliments aren't just for big events, they could be small things like a pretty shirt, a nice haircut, a well-prepared dinner, holding the door for someone else, etc. Take the time to compliment your boyfriend at least once a day. This will make him happy and he will know that you are paying attention to all the little things he does.
Step 8. Show your boyfriend that he is one of your top priorities
Depending on what's going on in your life (school, work, family, etc.), your partner is likely to be one of your top priorities. Show him that this is the case by taking it into account as much as possible when planning your outings and other events. For example, if you and your boyfriend had talked about going to a movie over the weekend without confirming the plan, ask him about it before doing other plans.
If you've already made plans, but something very important to your partner comes up, consider changing your plans so that you can be there for them
Step 9. Remember the past
Every now and then, take a moment with your boyfriend to discuss past events that you both enjoyed very much. Watch videos or photos from this event. Laugh and share memories to remind each other how much you mean to each other. You could talk about a trip together as a day spent in a theme park.