How to solve your relationship problems

How to solve your relationship problems
How to solve your relationship problems
Anonim

Couples can have problems for a multitude of reasons, but lack of communication is often the reason some people struggle to resolve their issues. If you find yourself in a relationship that has struggled, you will benefit from improving communication between you and your partner. You can also learn to solve problems as soon as they arise in order to overcome these justifications and find solutions. After things have improved, there are a few tips you can apply to make sure your relationship continues to thrive. If you want to put an end to these discussions and tackle the problem that is eating away at your relationship, apply the different methods outlined in this article.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Improve communication with your partner

Solve Relationship Problems Step 1

Step 1. Allow time for dialogue

When the problems start, communication often wanes, and you and your partner may not talk as frequently as you are used to. To start revitalizing your conversations, try scheduling small dates to chat about small things.

  • For example, you can choose 15 minutes each morning to sit down and talk about your schedule for the day. Or, you can call your partner during their lunch break to check on their day.
  • Setting aside time to discuss relationship issues can also help. By setting a time frame to discuss your problems, you can reduce some of the tension in your relationship and get closer to the solution. For example, you might decide to discuss a specific issue from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m.
  • Keep these conversations as lively as possible, and avoid discussing details that might make your partner angry during this time. The goal is to get your relationship back on track. Of course, if your spouse is having a bad day or is feeling stressed about something, listen to them and be compassionate and supportive.
Solve Relationship Problems Step 2

Step 2. Discuss the issues in a public place

If you and your spouse have a habit of yelling at each other during arguments, try going to a public place to discuss these issues. Go to a library, cafeteria, or mall to talk about the problem. Knowing that you can cause a scandal if you yell at each other should help you moderate your voices and have a more civilized conversation.

Solve Relationship Problems Step 3

Step 3. Work on improving your listening skills

Problems can also arise in a relationship if a partner feels little or not listened to. To avoid this kind of problem, practice improving your listening skills when your partner is talking to you.

  • Make eye contact between you and your partner when they talk to you. Don't look away, focus on your phone or any other place when your partner is talking to you. Give your partner your undivided attention.
  • Nod your head and indicate your level of interest using neutral phrases, such as "yes", "I see" or "go for it".
  • Rephrase what your partner just said to make sure you understand.
Solve Relationship Problems Step 4

Step 4. Use the personal pronoun “I” in your sentences

Using familiarity could make your partner believe that you are blaming them. This can lead to defense and even an argument. However, it is important to use sentences with the pronoun "I" to let your partner know what is bothering you.

For example, instead of saying, “You never make the bed in the morning,” say, “I really wish you could make the bed if you wake up after me. "

Solve Relationship Problems Step 5

Step 5. Express your appreciation for your spouse

Feeling unappreciated can also cause problems in a relationship. That's why it's so important to remember to say words like “thank you” and “appreciate you” as frequently as possible.

For example, if your spouse loads the dishwasher after every dinner and tidies up the kitchen, let him know that you really appreciate the effort. Say something like, "I just want to thank you for making our kitchen clean and nice." I truly appreciate it. "

Solve Relationship Problems Step 6

Step 6. Think before you speak

Sometimes a discussion can get heated and you may surprise yourself saying something or wanting to say things that upset your partner instead of fixing your problems. If you feel the urge to voice something that could hurt your spouse, take your time to reflect on the real problem and what you could say to get closer to the solution.

For example, instead of calling your partner by a nickname or insulting them in any way, just say what you want them to do

Solve Relationship Problems Step 7

Step 7. Allow your spouse to finish speaking before responding

Interrupting your partner is also a common cause of problems. If you interrupt your partner often, try to stop the behavior and allow them to finish speaking before saying anything. Behaving in this way will help your loved one feel heard and give you a chance to learn about their complaints.

Solve Relationship Problems Step 8

Step 8. Apologize if you are involved

Sometimes you will need to apologize in order to move forward in your life as a couple. Try to be honest with yourself and determine if you are at fault and if you need to apologize. If you apologize, make sure it is sincere, specific, and clearly articulate what you plan to do to correct the situation.

For example, you could say this: “I'm sorry I didn't call you to let you know about my late return. I will try to be more thoughtful in the future. "

Part 2 of 3: come up with a solution

Solve Relationship Problems Step 9

Step 1. Identify the problem

The first step in solving a specific torque problem is to understand the real problem. For example, if you and your partner have been arguing a lot lately, try to determine the reason. It could be different for each of you.

For example, you may think that your partner is not helping you around the house as they should and your partner, on the other hand, may find you too demanding. Take some time to think about what is bothering you and ask your partner to do the same

Solve Relationship Problems Step 10

Step 2. Express your needs

Once you have identified the problem, you will need to express your feelings to your partner. When you do, make sure that you are making statements with the pronoun "I" to express your feelings and avoid blaming your spouse for the feelings you have.

For example, you could say, "I feel overwhelmed with housework and I need more help from you." Your partner might respond like this, "I also feel overwhelmed with my work schedule and I feel you don't appreciate my efforts at work." "

Solve Relationship Problems Step 11

Step 3. Consider your partner's mood

Recognizing that you have heard your partner and understood their feelings is a good way to move forward. Avoid getting defensive, as this will not only lead you to arguing, but also escalate resentments. Instead, let your partner know you heard and understood him or her.

  • For example, you could say something like this, “Okay, I understand you. I didn't realize you felt that way. "
  • Don't be defensive even if your spouse arrogantly answers you, like in this example: "You are always giving me constant remarks and you never appreciate my efforts at work." Acknowledge your partner's resentments and move on.
Solve Relationship Problems Step 12

Step 4. Make a plan with your loved one

After each of you has spoken out and acknowledged your wrongs, you and your partner will need to develop a plan to decrease the frequency of disagreements and the length of arguments in the future. Try to compromise with your partner so that both of you feel that your expectations are being met.

For example, if he has felt underestimated, then promise him to recognize his efforts more often. You could also make it a rule and promise him that you won't ask him to help you again until he has a chance to relax a bit. Your spouse could therefore promise you to take more interest in certain household tasks

Solve Relationship Problems Step 13

Step 5. Keep your promises

Once you and your loved one have come up with a plan to resolve your difficulties, be sure to keep your promises. Otherwise, you may end up in the same situation.

For example, if you promise to take out the trash every night after dinner, make sure you really do. Otherwise, your companion might start to blame himself and also lend himself to a slack in his promises

Solve Relationship Problems Step 14

Step 6. Be prepared to repeat these steps

For relationships to work, each member needs to work consistently. Productive, peremptory open, reliable, and reverent communications on the one hand, and the use of problem-solving skills on the other hand can help you find the key to your relationship issues. Life as a couple is like a continuous collaboration and new challenges will undoubtedly arise. So work with your partner to maintain a supportive and healthy relationship.

Part 3 of 3: Maintain a healthy relationship

Solve Relationship Problems Step 15

Step 1. Plan romantic evenings

Set one night per week or at least per month to organize a romantic evening for your partner. Go out for dinner, go to the movies, take a hike or bike ride, or do whatever you want to do together. Having romantic nights will help you improve your level of intimacy and will also help you maintain a pleasant mood in your married life.

Solve Relationship Problems Step 16

Step 2. Go for a romantic weekend

An occasional pleasure trip on the weekend is one way to enhance intimacy in a relationship. Try to clear two weekends a year to get away from your normal routine and just have a great time together.

You don't have to go far to take a trip for two. Visit a nearby town for a few nights. Go out to have unforgettable dinners, go watch plays or visit museums together

Solve Relationship Problems Step 17

Step 3. Hold hands, hug and kiss

Physical contact is a big part of maintaining a positive relationship, and it can also help you de-stress. Sex is a good way to maintain a physical bond between the two of you, but temporary physical contact can also be beneficial.

For example, you can hold your partner's hand while watching a movie, give them a kiss before you leave for work, or kiss them before going to bed each night

Solve Relationship Problems Step 18

Step 4. Give yourself some space

Spending some time away from each other is a great way to keep a relationship fresh and healthy. Make sure you maintain your friendships and other interests so that you don't overly depend on your partner. It is important to have a life of your own, as well as with your spouse. Make time each week to treat yourself and spend time with your friends.

For example, you could have a women's night out once a week, take classes of your choice, or join a special interest group

Solve Relationship Problems Step 19

Step 5. Try new things with your spouse

To grow your relationship, find new distractions together or do something that's totally new to both of you. This is a great tip for strengthening the bond between you. Choose to do something that you want to do together, but that none of you have tried before.

For example, you could take cooking classes together, join a hiking club, or try to learn a new language together

Solve Relationship Problems Step 20

Step 6. Consider getting couples therapy

If you still cannot resolve your relationship issues despite your best efforts, then couples therapy should be the best option. Sometimes communication can become so forced and resentments can become so intense that professional help may be needed. Find a couple counseling therapist to get the best possible help for your relationship.

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