4 ways to deal with falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time

4 ways to deal with falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time
4 ways to deal with falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time
Anonim

When you have feelings for someone and they aren't reciprocated, there's a good chance you're falling in love with the wrong person at the wrong time. You can spend the whole time feeling sorry for yourself and filling yourself with sadness. To live better, you need to stop moping and start taking care of yourself. Avoid falling into the same trap by using the tips developed in this article to understand your attraction to the wrong person.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Assess your situation

Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 1

Step 1. Know how you feel when you are around him

Whether you are sure whether it is your soul mate or not, if you have the vague feeling that something is wrong, it could turn out. Not all love stories are perfect, but the first step in having a healthy relationship is making an honest assessment.

  • If your relationship cannot resist this examination, then you try to hide so as not to see reality in the face.
  • Chatting with a friend in such a situation could be of great help to you. A friend is able to repeatedly help you notice things in your relationship that you are trying to avoid.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 2

Step 2. Pay attention to what your friends and relatives think

If you notice that your family is avoiding talking about your soul mate and your friends are also keeping their distance, it is a sign that you are in love with the wrong person. They are the only ones who care about you and your well-being. Talk to them about what is worrying them.

  • Try to listen without trying to defend yourself or the person you fell in love with. It is in your best interest to try to listen to what they have to say to you. So be quiet and listen to them.
  • Your friends and relatives will have noticed if the person you love does not treat you with respect.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 3

Step 3. Try to visualize your future with this person

If you find it hard to imagine what your future together would be like, you probably already know it's time for you to move on. If you can't really imagine your life in five or ten years, chances are it's because you're in love with the wrong person.

  • Some people's company might be fun at some point, but you don't have to be with that person your entire life. Sometimes it's just a passing difficulty in a long-term relationship.
  • You might also notice that you spend your whole day thinking about what your life would be like without this person. In that case, maybe it is time for you to make this dream come true.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 4

Step 4. Know the signs of rejection

Sometimes the person you love doesn't love you back and you have to come to terms with the situation. It would be easier for you to accept her when you notice that her lack of love for you has more to do with her life and her way of being than with yourself. Maybe he's having problems with alcohol, drugs, maybe he's depressed, upset, or self-centered. He may also have noticed that he is not in love with you and chances are he has even told you that already.

  • He never keeps his promises to you, doesn't communicate, and leaves you alone to think about what you've done wrong. These are all signs of rejection.
  • Try to realize that if this is the case, there is really nothing you can do about it.

Method 2 of 4: Get over feeling sorry for yourself

Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 5

Step 1. Start by accepting the situation

If you seek revenge, you will drag this suffering for years to come. Instead, tell yourself that this suffering is an inevitable consequence of your current situation.

  • Gradually, you will learn from your experiences and have the chance to mature.
  • Learn to have compassion on the one who has disappointed you. While you probably can't understand his decisions, you can try to come to terms with them.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 6

Step 2. Remember your own values

If it helps, use daily affirmations or stick post-its where you can easily see them. Just because you've been in love with the wrong person or felt frustrated that now is not the time to develop such a relationship doesn't mean you are worthless. Remember that your life is made up of a series of experiences and encounters, and this failure will not be the only one.

  • You are exactly the right person for someone else at the right time.
  • This rejection could serve as a lesson to you for the next few times in finding the right person.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 7

Step 3. Stop moping

When you are in love with the wrong person, it is very easy to torment yourself. This is a very sad situation and moping will only comfort you for a while. The first thing to do is decide to never mope again.

  • If you notice that you tend to feel sorry for yourself, remember something that makes you feel good.
  • You will probably sink into this sadness as you try to walk away from it. Don't get mad at yourself, just recognize when it's happening and shift your focus to something more positive.
  • When you start to realize that self-pity is not the solution to your problem, you'll be ready to try new things.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 8

Step 4. Keep a gratitude journal

Striving to notice the good things that are happening in your life that you might otherwise take for granted will seriously help you cope with your sadness. The best habits to take in keeping a gratitude journal are to try to write down in such great detail the names of the people for whom you are grateful and to jot down the events that surprised you.

  • Write without even worrying about the quality of your writing. You can use full sentences or just jot down a few words, ideas, or draw a few pictures.
  • When you're feeling overwhelmed by negative feelings, writing down the different things you're grateful for can help you shift your focus to more positive things.
  • You can read your gratitude journal anytime to give yourself some extra comfort. After all, no matter how difficult your life is right now, there are always things you can be thankful for.

Method 3 of 4: Use self-care techniques

Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 9

Step 1. Consider discussing this with a professional

Therapists, counselors, rabbis, priests, and other professionals will be better equipped to help you come out of the spiral of romantic failure. It may be helpful to chat with neutral people who can talk to you without taking a stand. Self-pity can be the result of a succession of bad relationships that started from childhood. You should be looking to resolve these issues so that you can begin to improve your relationships. You shouldn't try to do this on your own. Seek help from a mental health professional who can guide you through this process.

  • You might ask your therapist if they could help you examine your past relationships. Be aware, however, that some therapists prefer to focus on the present rather than seeking to unearth problems from the past.
  • Keep in mind that this experience could turn out to be very unpleasant and will take time to complete.
  • You can be sure that a professional will never disclose your personal information.
  • Consulting a professional can be expensive, but insurance coverage can sometimes help pay the costs. There are also clinics that sometimes offer low-cost or free counseling services for people with low incomes.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 10

Step 2. Learn to love yourself

You might tell yourself that no one wants you after having an unhappy love affair. However, it is the result of rejection or being in a bad relationship. Instead, use this experience to remind yourself of your qualities.

  • Practicing a self-esteem exercise will help you cope with disappointment more easily and enhance your self-esteem and dignity.
  • If you notice that you are starting to say negative things, pull yourself together. Could these be the words you will use to your lover? If not, think about how you'll talk to the one you love.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 11

Step 3. Chat with someone you trust

There are good reasons why you should share your feelings with someone else. Talking about your frustration will help you see your relationship in a different way and offer you solutions that you never thought of.

  • Talking with a trusted friend is the best way to let go of your pent-up feelings and feel better.
  • You may notice that your friend has had a similar experience, which will help you feel less alone.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 12

Step 4. Start to regain self-esteem

Lack of self-confidence is due to negative self-evaluation on an unrealistic scale. People who suffer from this complex are more prone to suffer from disappointment in love. As you develop your ability to take care of yourself, you will be less tempted to mope.

  • It might be a good time to start a new activity, join a support group, or volunteer to help those in need.
  • Giving importance to your feelings can help you develop your self-esteem. When you don't respect your own feelings, you are tempted to believe anything people ask of you.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 13

Step 5. Be active

Being active is a great way to stop moping. You will start to feel better as you focus on exercising and working your core. The release of endorphins during physical activity will put you in a good mood.

  • A study from Ohio University even found that thinking about sports can increase your muscle mass.
  • Sports activity plays an important role in your life. It allows us to sleep better, have better health, be fitter and be less stressed.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 14

Step 6. Be kind to yourself

When you notice that your inner dialogue takes a negative turn, try to see it differently. For example, if you find yourself being too stupid, say to yourself, “It's okay! This is just a small mistake. If the mistake was serious, tell yourself that it will serve as a lesson to you. You might say to yourself, “To err is human after all, and I love myself all the same. I don't have to be perfect."

  • Showing understanding for yourself even when you make mistakes will help you overcome the fact that your love is not shared.
  • It is very important to practice kindness when you are going through such a situation.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 15

Step 7. Live intentionally

In other words, prioritize what you want, feel, and think about. People who are going through this predicament have spent a lot of time relying on what other people would like for them instead of what they themselves would like. If you are trying to break out of the spiral of romantic failure, restore balance by thinking more about yourself.

  • Think about what makes you really happy. When do you really feel like yourself? Do these things more often.
  • If you notice that you've done silly, embarrassing, or unnecessary things in your life, it's good to keep them as low as possible.

Method 4 of 4: Understand your feelings

Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 16

Step 1. Be responsible for your choices

Even though it may not seem like a good thing, making the decision to embrace the choices you have made will help you learn and grow. After all, being responsible for your choices doesn't mean you are the victim, a victim has no power. It is very important to take charge of your life.

  • By taking responsibility, you will be better able to learn from your choices.
  • Even if someone else has done wrong, you have your share of the blame.
  • Talking to a therapist, counselor, or trusted friend can help you come to terms with your choices in another way.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 17

Step 2. Look for a number of attitudes in your love life

If you feel insecure in your love life or find it difficult to get too close to people, chances are you've experienced a lot of disappointment in love. A good friend or a therapist can be of great help in helping you identify the behaviors that lead you to have only bad relationships.

  • Try to find out enough about relationship issues to see if you can relate to these experiences.
  • Viewing your behavior as a series of attitudes rather than moral failures can help you be non-judgmental.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 18

Step 3. Examine how you feel about being single

Being single is still seen as a problem in society. Being afraid of being single can distort your priorities, causing you to start (or stay) in an unsatisfying relationship.

  • People who are in a bad relationship are just as lonely as those who are afraid of staying single.
  • If you are afraid of being alone, there are some warning signs that you may miss out on that could save you from disappointment.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 19

Step 4. Protect yourself

Make sure you use good judgment when choosing which one to let into your life. If you notice that some of your friends are rejoicing over your misfortune, you should consider removing them from your life.

  • Build friendships that will help you feel protected and fulfilled. Your friends should be happy with your happiness.
  • When you are surrounded by people who love and respect you, you are more likely to love and respect yourself.
Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time Step 20

Step 5. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes

If you've made the mistake of loving someone who wasn't able to love you back, know that you are only human. You may need to practice for a long time before you can be less hard on yourself, but learning to forgive yourself could ultimately lead to a more flexible life.

  • Mistakes are nothing more than mistakes and they give you the opportunity to learn from your experiences. Consider the lessons you will learn from your mistakes.
  • There is little chance that you will grow up and learn new things without suffering. Mistakes, even the most painful, are just part of the learning process.

Advice

If you're not sure where to find a counselor or therapist, do some research online

Warnings

  • Don't expect the other to change.
  • Don't keep your feelings to yourself. Finding a way to share your feelings with other people is very important for your mental health.

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