How to deal with the refusal of a boy who has been invited out

How to deal with the refusal of a boy who has been invited out
How to deal with the refusal of a boy who has been invited out

Being rejected in love can be a painful experience. People who have been rejected even feel pain very close to physical pain. And while hearing the boy you invite out say no to you can hurt a lot, you can get over it and come out even stronger. Learn to respond in the moment, let go of negative feelings later, and focus on other goals.


Part 1 of 3: Respond in the Moment

Get Over Rejection Step 2

Step 1. Accept his decision

Even if you wanted to convince him to change his mind, you would only embarrass yourself. Avoid getting into a debate or trying to show him what he's missing out on.

  • For example, say “I'm sad that you don't care, but I understand and respect your decision. "
  • In addition, you will show him that you are mature and independent.
Get Over a Guy Step 5

Step 2. Acknowledge your feelings

You might be feeling silly for asking him out. You might be devastated, because you really thought he was the right one for you. Maybe you are mad at him (maybe he gave you false hope) and need space. All of these reactions are perfectly normal. Recognize and accept the feelings that come up in you after being rejected. Avoid burying and denying your emotions for the sake of this boy or because you would like not to feel what you are feeling. You cannot control what you are feeling. The best way to move on and let go of these feelings is to let them come up and go their way.

Acknowledging your feelings doesn't mean you have to value them. For example, you might recognize that you felt stupid at the time, without actually thinking that you were really stupid

Deal With Losing a Best Friend Step 04

Step 3. Renew a relationship of friendship

If you were friends with the boy, you might fear that your relationship would get weird after he refused to date you. This may not necessarily be the case, however, especially if you and he are close friends. You could make your intentions clear to him so he doesn't feel uncomfortable. Here's what you might say to let her know how you feel.

  • "I hope we can still be friends, even if you don't want anything more." "
  • "I need some time, but after that we could hang out together as friends!" "
  • “I don't want the situation to be awkward between us. I would like us to remain friends. You agree ? "
Take a Walk Step 1

Step 4. Make your exit

If you are very sad that you have been rejected, don't force yourself to stick around. Apologize and leave the scene. You could go home and calmly deal with your emotions or call a friend to tell her about the situation. Whatever you do, don't try to cry on this boy's shoulder. You would then force him to comfort you, which would be very embarrassing.

If you are very nervous, you might even ask a friend to call you at a specific time to “save” you if the boy refuses your offer

Make Your Boyfriend Feel Happy Step 6

Step 5. Be honest and sincere

You have every right to tell him that you are disappointed, that you need time before you can see him again, or any other feelings. This is not to ask for his emotional support. Being honest about your feelings will show him that you want to stay in touch with him and that you respect him enough to let him know how you feel. And since he has been honest with you, it will be best to return the favor.

Part 2 of 3: Heal Your Self-Esteem

Motivate Yourself Step 1

Step 1. Ask yourself what response you hoped to receive

When we want to be in a relationship with someone, it usually means that we have expectations of that person, in terms of relationship, intimacy, care. Try to figure out what you wanted and then see if there is any other way you can get all of these things.

For example, could you spend more time with a close friend? Is there someone else who would suit you more romantically? Once you determine what you need, you can address those needs directly

Attract Good Men Step 12

Step 2. Recognize that every situation and every person is unique

Just because a boy has rejected you doesn't mean everyone is going to reject you. Avoid overgeneralizing and thinking that you are unwanted just because things haven't worked out with a person. You might even like that person, but they're not ready for a relationship, or the timing is wrong. Avoid questioning your own worth because of simple rejection.

Stop Loving Someone Step 7

Step 3. List the things that you love about yourself

When a boy rejects you, it doesn't say anything about you. It just means that you and him weren't compatible. Other boys will appreciate what you have to offer. List all of these things to remind yourself of your worth and your qualities. See the following examples.

  • Are you a very good cook?
  • Do you have confidence in yourself?
  • Are you financially independent?
  • Are you studying? Have you finished them?
  • Do you know how to deal with spiders and insects? Some boys are afraid of it!
Cope with Depression Step 29

Step 4. Avoid blaming yourself

Don't try to figure out what you "did wrong". There are guys out there who will accept you for who you are, so don't think you have to change to be appreciated and loved. If a boy rejects you, he was not the right one for you.

A lot of people tend to make a mental mistake called “personalization”. It's about thinking that everything people do is in reaction to themselves. Avoid personalizing this boy's reaction by thinking it is a direct reflection of your worth. He refused to date you, but that doesn't say anything about your worth

Get an Adderall Prescription Step 9

Step 5. Take a pain reliever

It may sound silly, but social rejection activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. If this boy's reaction is causing you great pain, take paracetamol. This substance may not completely make your pain go away, but studies have shown that it may help.

  • Nothing will replace the support of your friends and family, however.
  • Do not resort to drugs or alcohol to cope with the situation. These substances will not help you.

Part 3 of 3: Focus on other goals

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Step 1. Focus on your studies

Are you in college? In high school ? At college? Concentrate on what really matters in your life, such as succeeding in school and becoming a more educated, more capable, more mature person. You will meet boys throughout your life, when the opportunities to excel academically may not present themselves.

SMART Goals Step 14 Set

Step 2. Pursue Your Own Goals

Have you always wanted to travel to Europe? Would you like to get into sport? Distract yourself from the pain of rejection by focusing on the things that make you happy and give meaning to your life.

You still have the right to mope for a while. It is natural to feel bad after being rejected. Don't be too hard on yourself if it takes a few days to get the hang of it

Cope With Having No Friends Step 30

Step 3. Spend time with your friends and family

When we are rejected by someone, we sometimes feel like society as a whole does not want us. Strengthen your relationships with your friends. Get involved in a community, whether at church or in a reading group. Even participating in a chat room can help build your self-confidence. Surrounding yourself with people who like you will help you feel better and cope with the situation.

Treat Anorexia Nervosa in Adolescents Step 1

Step 4. Manage the emotional side effects

Rejection can cause other painful and destructive emotions, such as rage or aggression. However, it is possible to manage these emotions.

  • Express yourself in words. You could keep a journal or participate in an online forum or even talk to your best friend.
  • Do breathing exercises. Breathing properly will help you overcome your anger and deal with other powerful emotions. If you can calm your body down, your mind will follow.
  • If you need more help, see a therapist. A therapist or psychologist can help you channel your emotions and regain self-confidence so that being rejected is not so difficult for you in the future.
Let Go of a Bad Friendship Step 09

Step 5. Move on

It's normal to have a hard time forgetting a boy who rejected you. If you feel like you're staring or can't get it out of your head, try the following techniques and take back control of your life.

  • Write down what attracted you to this boy. Is he smart, funny, cute? Does he know how to listen? Recognize the reasons you wanted to be with him.
  • Accept your grief that you cannot date him. You have probably imagined experiences to have with him, but these are now closed to you. You have the right to be sad about it.
  • Ask yourself what is not closed to you. Are there other boys that interest you? How would you like to have more time to work on yourself and your other relationships? Do you want more time to have fun or focus on your responsibilities? Look to the future instead of dwelling on the past and thinking about what might have happened.

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