It can be difficult to apologize, especially if you've done something that you regret very much. However, if you are in a relationship with a boy, there are things you can do to help him forgive you. Of course, the most important thing is to apologize to him sincerely.
Part 1 of 3: face the facts
Step 1. Acknowledge what you have done
When you do something wrong, you have to admit it to yourself first. It is human nature to prettify it in your head by making excuses for yourself, explaining why you did it. However, if you want to ask someone to forgive you, you must first recognize that what you have done is wrong and not come up with excuses for yourself.
Step 2. Take a step back from your emotions
This means that you need to take a step back from any emotions that might be causing you to make excuses for yourself. If you were angry when you did it, you're probably going to want to make an excuse for it. However, you can't really be forgiven if you don't accept responsibility for what you have done. It will be his job to accept his share of the responsibility.
Step 3. Write down in advance what you want to tell him
You don't have to read your apologies in front of him. However, writing down what you want to say to him will make it easier for you to avoid explaining your actions or making excuses for yourself. Focus on being responsible for your actions and on his forgiveness.
Part 2 of 3: chatting with the boy
Step 1. Don't put it off
Everyone wants to put off bad things until later. However, you have to be forgiven one day or another. If you wait, this boy might get angrier or feel more hurt.
Step 2. Pick the right time
Don't try to apologize to him while he's watching a football game or reading a good book. Pick a time when he's not distracted by anything else, and ask if you can chat. If he already knows what you've been up to, he's probably going to guess what you're talking about. If you have to tell him, he won't be able to guess it that easily.
Step 3. Show him your regrets
This means that you need to use your tone of voice and attitude to show her that you are genuinely sorry for what you have done. Look him in the eye and tell him in a serious voice that you are sorry.
For example, you could say to him, “I am really, really sorry for what I did”
Step 4. Take responsibility
You also have to accept that what you have done was wrong in front of this boy. This means that you have to name what you did to recognize it.
For example, you could say, "I know that by doing this joke at your expense, I hurt you." I should have thought about it before I opened my mouth. I know this is a sensitive subject for you”
Step 5. Discuss how to improve the situation
Finally, you need to recognize that you will do better in the future. This allows you to improve the situation. You can't take back what you said, but you can discuss how you are going to change your behavior in the future.
At the end of your apology, you might say to her, "Next time, I'll turn my tongue in my mouth seven times before I speak." You deserve better behavior from me. I love you and I respect you, I want to prove it to you by my actions”
Step 6. Let him answer
If this is the first time he's heard of what you've done, he's probably going to be mad. Let him express his anger and don't try to defend yourself. He needs a moment to talk about it. Even if he knows the reason for your apology, he might still need a moment to discuss how he is feeling. Give him the opportunity to explain to you why what you did hurt him.
You can give her that space by saying, “How do you feel about what I just said? "
Step 7. Know how to recognize his feelings
Finally, show him that you understand how he is feeling. Show him that you are listening and that you understand why he is angry.
You can show him that you are listening by repeating what he said. For example, you can say, “If I understand correctly, these kinds of jokes make you feel like you are being belittled and not being respected. I understand that perfectly and you are absolutely right. "
Part 3 of 3: move on
Step 1. Give it some space
Sometimes when someone is really hurt or angry, they just need time to digest what has happened. He might want to be alone for a few days, even a week, to think about what you've been up to and that's okay. He needs time to get into the right mood.
Step 2. Don't argue
If you are trying to be forgiven, you can't have an argument to make it happen. In other words, once you've said sorry, leave the discussion where it is. You are not going to convince him to forgive you by arguing with you until he admits that you are right.
Step 3. Surprise him with something he likes
If you feel like you need to do something to show her you're sorry, surprise her. You can bake him a cake or give him a gift that is valuable to him. By making a thoughtful gesture, you show him that you still care for him.
Step 4. Know that everyone makes mistakes
You need him to forgive you, of course, to continue your relationship. However, you also need to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and the rest of your relationship probably wasn't that bad. Even though it was horrible, you don't have to blame yourself for it forever. Give yourself permission to stop feeling bad about it.
That doesn't mean you have to forget about it altogether. In any case, you must use what you have learned to act better in the future
Step 5. Realize that he doesn't have to forgive you
Even if you really want to be forgiven, no one has to forgive anyone. You may need to learn from your mistakes and move on with someone else.
- If you worry about crying during your apology, stop. It will show him that you are truly sincere.
- Give him time to apologize, otherwise he won't have time to think it over.