How to continue living after the death of a loved one

How to continue living after the death of a loved one
How to continue living after the death of a loved one
Anonim

It can seem almost impossible to carry on with your life when a loved one goes missing, and you might be completely distraught at first. However, when you start by dealing with your feelings and seek help, you may find yourself able to achieve greater peace of mind. Since you cannot bring the person you lost back to life or completely stop thinking about him or her, you will be able to take steps to deal with your suffering and move forward to live a fulfilling and fulfilling life. makes sense.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Manage what it feels like

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 1

Step 1. Let go

You might think that if you keep your feelings to yourself or pretend that they don't exist, you might be able to return to your ways more quickly. If this can be true at first and on a fairly superficial basis, but you won't be able to move forward if you keep your feelings to yourself. Rather, you should slow down, find some time for yourself and allow yourself to cry, be angry, emotional, or just acknowledge what you are feeling as best you can.

  • Just taking the time to cry can help you feel better. Although no one likes to cry, it is a very healthy reaction and can help you express your emotions.
  • That said, not everyone mourns after the death of a loved one. Just because you don't cry doesn't mean you don't feel sorry for the person who is gone. It just means you have another way to deal with the situation. Don't feel guilty because you're not crying or forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do or that you don't feel ready to do.
  • You can let your feelings run wild when you are alone in your bedroom, or even by talking to someone you trust about what you are going through. You can decide for yourself what can give you relief.
  • You can also feel more balanced and in control by journaling during a time of great sadness.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 2

Step 2. Give yourself time to grieve

After you've let go of everything that was oppressing you, it's important to recognize your grief. The latter takes a long time to go away, and when you are grieving you are unlikely to be able to do most of the things that could put you in a good mood. You might prefer to stay at home rather than go see friends. You might find it hard to emit the shadow of a giggle while watching your favorite comedy on TV. You may be looking at a computer screen and have blurry vision of the words on it. Accept that you are going through a difficult time rather than trying to forget too quickly and know that it will be better.

  • It is quite natural that you need to take time away from your work or school activities. It can be difficult to stay focused when you are feeling so devastated. Others, however, may find relief in the daily routine. It's important to do what's best for you.
  • Don't force yourself to go out. You might not want to hang out with your regular friends or go to a party. While you shouldn't isolate yourself completely, you also shouldn't go out and wear a forced smile where you would have preferred to curl up under the duvet at home.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 3

Step 3. Find support

Spending some time away from others can help you come to terms with and come to terms with what has happened, but you are not going to stay in that state forever. If you want to continue living after a loved one has passed away, you should make sure you have someone you can pour out your heart out on. Talk to friends, family, or even people from your wider social networks, if you don't have anyone closer and let them know that you need help during this time. hard.

  • Don't feel like you're a burden on your friends by being sad all the time. They care about you and expect you to respond. What can your friends do well if you don't want them around during this difficult time?
  • You obviously don't need to have your friends and family around you 24/7. You might even prefer to be alone most of the time. However, you should still let them know that you would appreciate knowing them around you when you need them.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 4

Step 4. Don't force yourself to be too hard

Some people imagine mourners as admirable individuals who impress everyone by overcoming their grief with decency and dignity. There must be some people who behave this way, but you might have mostly seen them on TV. Don't force yourself to act like everything is fine and you have no problem moving forward. While you don't need to cry in public if you don't want to, you also shouldn't make those around you think you're the badass type.

  • Remember that your friends and family care about you. They want you to be honest and open up to them, not cheat on them with a solid outward appearance.
  • It's hard enough having to deal with the pain of a loss. You don't need to complicate your life even further by pretending everything is fine.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 5

Step 5. Don't worry about meeting certain deadlines

While you may think that you should feel better and move on after a while because you read it somewhere or because your best friend did it to get over an identical loss in their life, you any idea of ​​deadlines should be thrown out the window. Don't force yourself to feel better after a while or you may be uncomfortable and disappointed that you don't.

  • Now is the time to be generous, not to limit yourself. Don't tell yourself to act a certain way for a while and instead try to close that wound from the inside.
  • Do not compare your case to the loss experienced by others. Your best friend or cousin may have displayed an optimistic exterior soon after losing a loved one, but you don't know what they may have been going through inside of themselves.

Part 2 of 3: Seeking support

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 6

Step 1. Spend more time with your friends and loved ones

In these difficult times, your friends and family can provide the support you are looking for. You can be on your way to moving forward by making sure you keep in touch with those you care about, whether it's just watching a movie with your family or telling a close friend about your sadness. You cannot remain trapped in your sadness indefinitely or you will be unable to appreciate your relationships with others again.

  • If you've lost a family member, you should spend more time with other family members and share memories of that person with them, which can help you feel less alone. Remember that you don't need to avoid talking about the person you lost if you want to move forward.
  • When you hang out with your friends, you don't have to go to loud bars or join big parties. You can begin the healing process by simply going out for coffee with a close friend, going for a walk, or watching a light comedy with a loved one.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 7

Step 2. Consider joining a support group

You can feel less alone and find new ways to cope with your death by joining a group of people who have been through the same thing as you. It can also connect you with other people and can prevent isolating you from your problem and encourage you to move on when you have lost a loved one. Going to a support group at least once a week can give you purpose as well as new moral support.

Tell yourself that you are at least going to give it a try. Do not try to judge what a support group might be until you have met the people in it and heard their stories. You may feel more comfortable sharing your grief with others who are going through the same thing as you

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 8

Step 3. Find comfort in your faith, if you have one

If you have a religious belief, you can help yourself by spending more time in your religious community. You will not only be able to find comfort in your faith, but also spend more time among your co-religionists who really care for each other, whether you are of Christian, Jewish, Muslim or related to another religious current.

  • Just going to your place of worship even once a week can give you something positive to do in the midst of your routine.
  • The religious community that you are a part of can also offer you other things, such as volunteering, which can help you spend your time more productively.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 9

Step 4. Consider therapy

Psychology or psychoanalysis is not available to everyone, but you should try before you rule it out. You had better get help from a good professional who you can talk to about your feelings and mental state, who can also tell you what you should do, if you feel like you are having a hard time coping. grieving on your own or with the help of family and friends. Bereavement therapy or psychology can help you get a new perspective on your situation and find new ways to get help.

Do not think that you are showing weakness by agreeing to undergo therapy. In reality, the opposite is true. You show strength by not being afraid to admit that you need help

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 10

Step 5. Consider taking a pet

You might think it's stupid to pick up a small cat or dog during a grieving period, but it can actually improve your mental state a bit. A pet gives you a presence that you can stroke and care for, someone who needs you. It can give you purpose and meaning in your life. You're obviously not going to bring back your beloved mom or dear daddy by taking a kitten, but it can help you get on with your life.

Go to a shelter and take an abandoned animal home with you. Bringing home an animal that truly needs your affection and care will make you feel even better

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 11

Step 6. Don't be discouraged by people who don't know how to help you

Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to help you feel better, and some may even make your condition worse. People may say things they don't mean because they think you will feel better or because they think it is what you should hear, which could be misinterpreted. Try to make these people understand how they might be of service to you or even try to point them in the right direction or try to spend as little time as possible with them if they are really bothering you.

  • Sometimes people can compare the loss of your closest relative to that of an acquaintance or a distant cousin. They might say the person is in a better world now or might even add that it took them a few weeks to return to normal life after Untel passed away. These people aren't looking to hurt you, they just want you to be better, even if they find it hard to express it properly.
  • Remember this, if you are wasting your energy getting angry with people who cannot help you. It could just be that you are dumping all of your negative energy and sadness in the wrong place. It's natural to feel frustrated, but try not to confide your feelings to people who can't help you. It is perfectly unnecessary.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 12

Step 7. Don't force yourself to smile

As you continue to move on and spend more time with others in society, don't force yourself to be jovial, super nice, and outgoing if on the inside you feel like crying instead. While you may want to refrain from expressing your sadness in public, you shouldn't try to hide the fact that you are having a difficult time. If you try to convince those around you that everything is fine, they will probably soon realize that you are acting.

It can be quite exhausting to present a jovial facade if you're not feeling right. You can actually feel worse if you are spending this type of energy in an inadequate way

Part 3 of 3: moving forward

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 13

Step 1. Don't make important decisions right away

You might feel like the death of a loved one has made you realize that you should quit your job, sell your house, or move out right away, but you should give yourself time to think it over before taking this guy. decision-making. You would not want to have regrets afterwards while having to deal with your grief. Instead, try to wait a few months, think about it with a rested head and talk about it with a few relatives to be sure you have made a good choice.

You might think you're offloading a burden by making an important decision or shedding some baggage that is clogging your life, but it's likely that this decision will give you even more of a headache during these difficult times

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 14

Step 2. Continue to take care of yourself

While the need to sleep well and eat well is the last thing you can think of when dealing with grief, you should remember to take good care of yourself if you want to continue living after your death. You will feel stronger both mentally and physically, and you will be able to deal better with the challenges life has thrown at you by staying as healthy as possible. Here are some of the things you should do.

  • Get at least seven to eight hours of sleep, go to bed and get up around the same time.
  • Eat three healthy, balanced meals a day that include lean protein, fruits and vegetables, and healthy carbohydrates.
  • Pay attention to your hygiene. It is important to take showers or baths regularly, to take special care in your toilet in order to feel more ready to face the world around you.
  • Be physically active for at least half an hour a day if you can. Just walking instead of driving can help increase your energy and can give you better physical and mental balance.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 15

Step 3. Gradually become more social

When you feel like you're moving forward, you can get out of your bubble a bit. Rather than spending time in front of the TV with your friends, go out to discover a new restaurant with a friend or two or go to a small party if you don't mind. You don't need to do this if you don't feel ready, but it can allow you to have more regular contact with others if you feel up to it.

  • You also don't need to fill your agenda with various outings. In fact, it's still important to make time to decompress and think for yourself.
  • You should avoid alcohol until you have achieved greater emotional stability, if you are the social drinker. Alcohol is a depressant and while it can numb your grief at first, it can actually make you sadder and more unstable after a drink or two. Also, don't let those around you drink more if you don't feel like it.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 16

Step 4. Pursue your hobbies and interests

When you regain your strength, you can go back to what you loved to do that put you in a good mood. While you might not be in the mood to resume watercolor painting, yoga, or playing the guitar, you will gradually get nostalgic for your favorite activities.Find a few hours a week to do what you love and immerse yourself in your hobby.

  • While you can't turn your suffering away for good, dedicating yourself to something close to your heart can help you heal faster, rather than doing something that numbs you like watching TV, for example. example. You can obviously find time for both and if you are not yet devoting yourself to something you like, you should exercise a little patience.
  • If you feel like you haven't found something that interests you, you can think of a new passion and immerse yourself in it.
Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 17

Step 5. Continue to respect the memory of the deceased

Just because you are stepping back into the whirlwind of active life doesn't mean you should completely forget about the person you lost. You can remember her by talking about her memory with people who loved her, you can go to her grave, look at photos or cherished items that remind you of that person, or you can just walk around and think about them. It can help you admit that she won't be coming back while still keeping her alive in your memories.

You can wait until you are more comfortable, if it is too painful for you to think about the missing person right now

Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies Step 18

Step 6. Find your zest for life

This step may be the most difficult to complete, but you will be able to do it. It doesn't mean to take stock of the situation or stop thinking about the person you loved in order to find joy in your life again. When you feel like you are on the mend, you can start enjoying anything from a beautiful sunset to a night spent with a great friend. You might feel like it's impossible in your current situation, but there will come a day when you can carry on with your life after a loved one has passed away.

  • If you take the time to appreciate the little things in life, whether it's your kitten's silky coat or a delicious meal cooked at home, you will not only be able to move forward, but also fully enjoy. of your life.
  • Be patient with yourself. Things will look dismal, gloomy, and hopeless for a while. But you will be able to feel joy again, as long as you make the effort to move on and take care of yourself.

Advice

  • Sometimes you need to cry to feel better.
  • Talk to someone you love and know that there is always someone out there who feels the same way you do. You are not the only person in the world who has seen a loved one die.
  • Hold your head up high and think happy thoughts, because the missing person is now in a better world that you will one day join and be with them.
  • Sometimes you should let go of all your sadness when you go to bed. You will probably feel better the next morning.

Warnings

  • Never tell yourself it's your fault, it will only make the situation worse.
  • Remember that this person, although deceased, still loves you and protects you where they are.
  • Do not be overwhelmed by this death.
  • Do not let other family members make this death so terrible. Yes, it will take time for them to think and recover. Don't let them believe the world has turned horrible and don't let them engage in unsafe practices.
  • Don't let yourself go without being able to do anything, and don't think about your death to the point of losing sleep and appetite.

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