Whether it's your old boyfriend, an old friend, or just someone you got along with, until something happens between the two of you, you might be struggling. to continue to maintain the links if he stops liking you. Maybe you just have to keep talking to each other because you work together or have mutual friends or maybe you just want to be friendly. It could also be that you are the type of person who likes to settle differences before continuing to speak freely with the other or you have dumped the person in question or indicated that you are not interested in the kind of relationship that you want. 'he researched before finally regretting your decision upon realizing that you had changed your mind about him.
Step 1. Try to look at the situation from their perspective
What happened between the two of you that made him have such antipathy towards you? Did you do something that really irritated him? If so, then you might want to avoid repeating these behaviors in his presence. For example, you could stop being too talkative, asking too many questions or teasing him about his flaws or you might have hurt him deeply by ditching him for reasons that have nothing to do with him personally. or by telling him that his interest or feelings towards you are not mutual, when you have led him to think otherwise. Once you've identified the likely source of the problem, you'll find it easier to see things from their perspective. He might be scared, ashamed, rightly hurt and waiting for your apologies. Or, he feels weird to keep chatting with you and finds it much easier to ignore you or stay away from you. Trying to empathize with him will help you better understand his motives, and it can help you find a way to overcome his reluctance to talk to you.
Step 2. Determine why you want to continue talking to her
If it's because you just want to rehash the past and make him uncomfortable or ask him to reconsider your old relationship, then the reason why you want to keep talking to him is not healthy and it will only do so. take it further away from you. On the other hand, if you sincerely want to have a friendly relationship that will be constructive and beneficial for both of you, then it is worth giving a try.
- If you still want to talk to the person because it's necessary for work, your hobbies, interests, or other activities like volunteering, then there you have a valid reason. You can also bring up this reason when he asks you why you are trying to talk to him again.
- If you want to talk to him because you have mutual friends and otherwise the whole group would feel uncomfortable or would have to act as intermediaries between you, this is also a good reason to resume cordial communications with him..
- If it's a family member or ex-lover that you now regret rejecting, that is also a good reason to try to reestablish communication. However, it won't always work and it will all depend on what happened between the two of you.
Step 3. Be careful when trying to apologize
If you know that you did something that is unequivocally the cause of the breakup between the two of you, then you can apologize. However, if you don't know why he stopped talking to you, saying you're sorry can make it worse and give the impression that you're trying to take responsibility for something that isn't. has none. Also, it can make you seem like someone desperate or clingy. If you don't know why he stopped talking to you, or if you're sure you didn't do anything to cause the split, don't make unnecessary apologies.
Take care to apologize when necessary. If you're entirely wrong, admit it, apologize, and get ready to move on. Don't mope about it, or you'll both be embarrassed
Step 4. Avoid harassing, threatening, or asking
If you want to start talking with him again, this kind of approach will destroy your chances of getting there. This is especially difficult if you were romantically involved and longed to get back with him. Instead of thinking like that, keep it simple and just try to reconnect with him.
- Say a simple hello or hello whenever you see him, accompanied by a smile. You might even give a friendly little wave of your hand when the time is right.
- Ask him to help you do something. This can be a good way to get him to respond kindly if you can find something that you really need help with. It could be homework or extra work, fixing something that has broken, carrying heavy objects, or even you can ask her opinion on a given topic.
Step 5. Go easy
It will take time to regain his confidence if he has moved away from you because of shame, fear or confusion. If he's just disgusted by something you've done, it will take even longer to rebuild the lost confidence, if you ever do. Whatever the reason he stopped talking with you, try to wear him down by continuing your simple friendly approach. Make it clear that you are asking for nothing more than the opportunity to talk to him in the normal way. This means that you shouldn't plan for anything other than just talking to her. Don't have any other expectations, don't expect things to get back to how they were before, and above all, don't plan a secret revenge.
- Do not rush. This is something that is more likely to fail than to succeed. It's really weird to have the sudden desire to rekindle a relationship that dates back to the age of the dinosaurs.
- Do what you used to do, but in a moderate way. If you used to pat her on the back, now just laugh and wave your hand or something that is also innocent and doesn't involve physical contact. Think of it this way: If you were used to eating spicy foods and quitting, you would need to relearn how to tolerate them, right? It is the same in this case. Whatever you do, don't go slap her on the butt or do something as daring as you used to do!
- If you really want to reconnect through physical contact, keep it soft and refrain from touching private parts. The top of the hand, the side of the arm, and the like are places you can touch, but massaging her neck or trying to hold her hand are things that will indicate that you want too much at this point, which will result in result of scaring him.
- Small problem: if you had a long relationship with him and it was you who ended it before you now want to get his love back, you could be in competition with other women. In this case, moving forward too slowly can cause you to lose your ex-lover forever, for whom you eventually developed a romantic interest or even affection.
Step 6. Ask if you can have a quick chat
Reassure him that it's not about getting back together or anything emotionally complicated. Buy him a drink and have a quick chat centered on why you'd like to get back to talking with him. Try to come out with valid reasons that demonstrate the importance of starting to talk again. For example, you can do the following.
- Guillaume, I know that between us it's over and I accept it perfectly. But I don't like the fact that I can't talk to you. For example, when I was due to return this report last Wednesday and was missing a vital piece for you to send me, I felt so weird that I had to email you as a colleague instead of coming to you. see and request it directly. I think it's important that we keep talking at work, at least professionally, but preferably I want us to be friendly colleagues.
- Jean, I don't want to talk again about what happened between us, we know that what is done is done. However, I don't want to stop talking to you either. Rachel, Georges, Josué and Bianca wonder if we can still go out together since the two of us don't talk to each other anymore. Not only does this annoy me, but I also really wish we could keep talking as friends to make life easier for others. That's it, I think you are a wonderful person and I understand that we are both moving on, but I would like us to keep communicating.
Step 7. Try to use fewer methods of communication that involve confrontation
If you can't speak to him directly (or he's the one who can't) right now, use the technology. Take advantage of letters by mail, email, SMS and more. Each time, don't act like a stalker or overwhelm him with a huge amount of weird messages or hints. Just send a few messages here and there, adopting a light tone and showing casual attention.
Step 8. Don't give up if you try and nothing works
Know when it's best to let go and stop trying to get him to answer you. If he doesn't want you, accept it and devote your energy to enjoying chatting with the friends who want you. There are many people in this world with whom you can have a great relationship and it is not good to be a burden to him. Ironically, if you do this it will be a burden on you as well. Make sure you talk to him in person as well. Men like to be talked to and that we try to listen and take into consideration what they say.
- Small things, like a shrug, a small smile, or both of us laughing at something you've seen, can quickly bond again.
- You have to know how to distinguish between patience and despair. If it doesn't respond on the first day, you can still try. If you've tried many times for 2-3 weeks without any results, it's time you knew your limits.
- The old adage that time heals everything is true. If you give her a little time, the tension between you might ease off.
- Men tend to have very high emotional responses compared to women (the use of the word trending here shows that this is not a hard and fast rule!) It can be easy to anger them, so that it won't take just a magic phrase, a simple act or a moment to get them to calm down. It will take time.
- Remember that it is very easy to get involved in an embarrassing situation. To get out of it, you can always laugh and try to change the subject. Don't overdo it or he'll get nervous.
- You may want to consider talking to her in front of a mixed group of friends. It will be more difficult for him not to be polite to you in this context. Obviously, there is a risk that he will ignore you all the same and plant you there, but this will also have a negative impact for him. So if you are with real friends, they will support you.
- Know What You Want: Whether you're forced to keep in touch with him because of family or work, there are lines the two of you should never cross. Set those boundaries clearly if you don't feel like they are aware of them. If you want to maintain an intimate relationship with him, the boundaries will be different from those you will set if you want a more platonic relationship. In short, try as much as possible not to send mixed signals. You are involved in this relationship too, and it will be a bad idea if you cannot get what you want.
- Accept the reality. If someone doesn't like you anymore, let them out of your life and move on. It's the only way you can keep yourself respectful. Asking for explanations, begging, making a scene sounds good, but it only increases the desperation and grief, while destroying any confidence you can have in future relationships.
- Pay attention. People can change completely and become a different person. If he's not the friendly, lovable boy you used to be anymore or if he's starting an argument, walk away.
- Try not to appear desperate. If this really happens to you, your best bet is to stay calm. Be mature instead of begging for something.
- Any strong emotion can lead to violence. This includes but is not limited to jealousy, anger, fear, anxiety, and contempt.
- Don't bother the person for too long if they don't like you anymore. Even if he may have been your friend before, irritating him now could incite violence or, if you keep provoking him by constantly parrying him and not respecting his boundaries. fixed or wanting not to talk, he might beat you up.
When to seek help
Put your safety first. You should never accept or tolerate the following behaviors.
- Places You Don't Know: If he wants you to meet him somewhere you've never been or get in his car alone or meet you in a secluded place, take extreme precautions. Let someone else know where you are, bring someone with you without letting them know, move to another location, or just refuse to meet them alone.
- Threats of all kinds: verbal, physical, intellectual (yes, that exists), sexual or any other type of intimidation such as pointing a weapon. This is called aggression: an act that does not immediately result in violence, but leads a sane person to believe in violence or that unwanted contact will soon occur. Watch for signs of an assault that tell you you should leave or seek help right away. If it is a blatant assault (when the threats are particularly intimidating or emotional in nature), get away quickly and get help.
- Attempts to block exit routes: Be extra careful when you are alone and always look for an exit or know how and where you can exit at any time. Any attempt by him to prevent you from getting out of a vehicle or building is suspicious. He can do this in subtle ways, such as standing in front of the door or preventing you from leaving the conversation or even physically restraining you by all means. Don't tell her you want to leave if you see this happening, it will only make the situation worse and cause her to try harder to keep you from going out. When you feel this happening, do anything to walk away, no matter how subtle or patient you have to be in your approach. If after exiting you feel that he is following or chasing you, call emergency services or ask for help.
- Assault: legal definition. Any violence whatsoever towards a person constituting neither an injury nor a blow (physically). This includes but is not limited to the following.
- Unwanted physical contact (not sexual). Holding your arm, touching any part of your body that you don't want, etc. If you tell him to stop and he refuses, he has committed an assault.
- Physical violence: punching, kicking or any other type of physical abuse, even if you are not the victim.
- Other examples: throwing objects with intent to injure, forcing you to ingest or receive medication against your will (this may include forced injections, putting pills or other substances in your drink, or forcing you to swallow or inhale a drug) or attempting to shoot yourself, regardless of whether you were hit or not.
- Unwanted Sexual Advances: If you're not interested in having sex, make it clear to her No, Stop, or Leave me alone. If it persists, don't just say it, go immediately. If he starts chasing you, leave quickly or get help.