How to overcome trust issues in a relationship

How to overcome trust issues in a relationship
How to overcome trust issues in a relationship

Lack of trust in a relationship is destructive. When trust wears off, it's hard to feel secure, and you might find yourself constantly wondering if your partner is sincere or faithful. Whether it's a social, business or romantic relationship, trust is very important. If you are having trust issues, it is important to know a few helpful tips that will help you overcome it before your relationship takes a hit.


Part 1 of 2: Knowing what causes distrust

Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 1

Step 1. Think about what makes you lose confidence in the other

Some people have a harder time giving their trust than others. This is often due to past experiences, recent disappointments or even education received. If in the past, people have disappointed you, let you down, or weren't there when you needed them to, you might find it hard to trust you. On the other hand, if you've lived with people who were there for you through difficult times and helped you deal with your disappointments, you probably won't have a hard time trusting others. If you are having trouble trusting, then you may be stuck with the following issues:

  • you feel like no one is reliable. You generalize this to everyone you meet, no matter how confident they are,
  • you feel the need to protect yourself by erecting barriers around you, without even giving others a chance,
  • you don't like to ask for help and you feel like it's easier to do everything on your own to make it perfect,
  • you misjudge the personalities of the people who come into your life and you end up finding very unsavory people,
  • you are often easy to convince and you seem to attract people who take advantage of your willingness to help as well as your generosity.
Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 2

Step 2. Think about what you want from others

It is possible that you have very high expectations, maybe even a little too high. Some of the things listed below can cause trust issues in a relationship.

  • Do you expect people to guess what you want or read your mind? This can be the cause of a lack of trust in others, because they don't do things the way you would like them to do, but they don't communicate.
  • You expect others to get involved as much as you. The problem with giving is that when it comes to relationships, it doesn't have to be about weighing everyone's actions. If you had given and hoped for something in return, you will feel a lack of confidence if the other does not return the favor.
  • You hardly ever expect much from others. In this case, it will be difficult for you to trust anyone.
  • When it comes to intimacy and romantic relationships, you might expect your partner to stay with you. It could lead to some kind of harassment or suffocation if it goes too far.

Part 2 of 2: Overcome Your Confidence Issues

Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 3

Step 1. Decide whether or not you are ready to trust

Think about the large-scale consequences that being wary of everyone else will have on your life. Not only does it take a lot of effort, but you will also be constantly suspicious and disappointed. Is this a good way to live? Certainly not ! Think about the big picture and see how giving your trust will have positive consequences that will surpass anything bad there had been.

Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 4

Step 2. Be judicious rather than suspicious

Confidence has nothing to do with gullibility. Critical analysis and instinct are important parts of how you view life. There will come times when something looks fishy and in those cases, it might be good if you change your mind and do some more research before you put your trust in someone or believe in a deal. However, it is also good to use your judgment and realize that the majority of people have the best of intentions and expect to do things on an equal footing with you.

Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 5

Step 3. Give everyone some space

Whether it's a business relationship, social bond, or romantic affair, no one likes to feel suffocated by someone who wants to know everything they are doing. A cornered animal will do everything in its power to defend itself and you can expect it to be the same with a person who feels watched and pursued and who feels suspected. By letting go and giving everyone their space, you pave the way for better sharing and more honesty.

If you used to spy on others, read their diaries, or follow them, stop immediately. Chances are they already know you do and if they don't, they will soon find out. If this happens, they will call you a control freak and lose all confidence in you. So be aware that once someone's trust is lost, you may not be able to get it back

Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 6

Step 4. Deal with your past disappointments

Your disappointments in love, your business that went wrong, your betrayed friendships, all of these events are in a corner of your memory. However, they only occupy part of your life, not all of it. Bad things do happen, but it's how we react that matters. Stop rehashing what didn't work and instead focus on the experience you have gained.

Know that the more you focus on what went wrong in the past, the more you will sink into that behavior each time. What is it for you? Usually it becomes more of a personal safety story than a reflection of reality. Over time, this type of behavior begins to tire those who under other circumstances would have guided you and helped you make better decisions. Make an effort to forget about those stories you tell yourself

Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 7

Step 5. Be imaginative

Find more constructive ways to deal with your trust issues. There is no guarantee that your trust will not be broken over the course of your life. However, you can make the decision to deal with these disappointments so that they don't give you a negative outlook on life.

  • Tell yourself that some people are just bad. Not everyone is like that though, so keep looking for the right people.
  • Learn from the situations you are going through. What can you do better next time? What had you done on your side to endure this betrayal of your trust? You probably haven't noticed a few warning signs or done the checks that would have allowed you to spot these issues earlier.
  • Forgive the person who betrayed your trust. If you don't, you will be dragging that person with you all the time even in the future. It will absorb your energy too much.
Overcome Trust Issues in a Relationship Step 8

Step 6. Stop expecting others to guess what you want

Unless you are prepared to be clear about your wishes, you cannot expect others to read your mind. Learn to speak clearly, be sure of what you want, and stand up for what is important to you. It would be unfair to accuse others of letting you down when you did not make it clear how you expected more from them.

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