3 ways to behave with people who don't like me

3 ways to behave with people who don't like me
3 ways to behave with people who don't like me
Anonim

Being hated by people can be a painful experience, but it is also an aspect of life that everyone faces. However, if you learn to defend yourself against these people to avoid getting hurt, to resolve misunderstandings and to keep things from getting out of hand, then it will move you forward in life. Remember, there is no way the experience can turn bad if you know how to behave when faced with unpleasant situations.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Take care of yourself

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Step 1. Decide if you should be interested

Not everyone you meet should be a friend. If a coworker or someone you're not used to hates you, it might be unpleasant, but you can decide if it's really worth trying to make the necessary connections and get them interested. you. Not all people deserve you to put in the effort for them, especially if they are really difficult to hang out with and you lose nothing by avoiding them.

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Step 2. Challenge yourself

Ask yourself if you made a mistake and if the person has a good reason to dislike you. It might be worthwhile for you to apologize and make the effort to clarify things if you feel that it might be right to not appreciate what you are doing or have done.

Recognizing a mistake you made doesn't mean you have to blame yourself for it. Everyone makes mistakes and the most important thing is to forgive yourself, even if others don't

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Step 3. Walk away

Don't be afraid to walk away if the person is actively trying to hurt you. In these situations, it's best to put yourself first and walk away. Sometimes people irritate each other and the best thing to do is to avoid each other, especially if the situation gets out of hand and you are affected.

  • Sometimes you might be tempted to stay and fight to make sure everything is okay, but pulling away is a form of power in and of itself. This is a way of standing up for yourself and telling the person that you don't want to be bullied.
  • Walking away might mean avoiding the person when it is appropriate to do so. For example, if you are a colleague, avoid collaborating on anything. You can also remove that person from your social media feeds so you won't be tempted to chat with them.
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Step 4. Don't wait for the approval of others

How important is it that this person loves you? Are there others who like you, i.e. friends or family? In fact, you should avoid worrying about someone who is having a dispute with you, which could be about their personal issues, rather than something that concerns you.

Some people will hate you because they are jealous of you. So don't allow people to demoralize you because of your successes

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Step 5. Focus on the positive things

If you're demoralized because someone doesn't like you, do something that will make you feel better. If you like to exercise, go to the gym to take your mind off things. If you have friends who value your company, spend time with them to remind yourself that you have invaluable intrinsic value. You should not mind if you do not allow it.

  • If you have a clear idea of ​​why the person doesn't like you, ask yourself if it really matters the other way around. Does what the person thinks really matter? Does he hate many people? You may not be a "special" case.
  • You can also try to reframe the review to make it positive. If someone says that you are always late or always asking people for favors, try to find ways to improve on these things. Also, if you think she is wrong, remember all the times you weren't late and the times you helped others.

Method 2 of 3: Restore the relationship

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Step 1. Ask questions

If you want or need to improve the relationship, start by asking the person why they don't like you. There could be a huge misunderstanding behind all of this, and you could gain valuable insight into the person's opinion of you (which is not necessarily who you really are).

Make an effort to ask the questions in a way that does not create a confrontation. Instead of saying "what's your problem? You can express yourself in the following way: "Did I do something to make you dislike me?" "

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Step 2. Avoid being defensive

It is quite natural to want to fight back, but if someone is expressing frustration over something you are doing, it can be helpful for you to take a break and do your best to calmly deal with the situation., rather than making it worse by inciting an argument.

  • Avoid picking on the person or responding to criticism. You can certainly think of different things that you don't like about her as well, but being mean to her won't solve the situation. So criticizing her will only worsen the conflict.
  • Practice deep breathing while the person is speaking to avoid getting angry and fighting back.
  • It’s also a good thing to step back for a while and come back to the person when you have calmed down.
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Step 3. Take the time to listen to the person

If you talk to her, let her finish her thoughts before reacting. You might not like what she is saying, but if you want to reestablish the relationship you will need to know what you are dealing with. Plus, you'll earn her respect if you respect her enough to listen to her before responding. You might even receive more constructive criticism.

You can put it this way: "I understand that there is something about me that you don't like. I would really like to know what it is and see if we can move on together. "

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Step 4. Take a break

Sometimes people get bored of each other because they spend a lot of time together. This is precisely the case with friends or colleagues. If you are working with the person who doesn't like you, do your best to limit contact with them for a while. If you spend a lot of time with the same people, make an effort to see other friends or meet them while they are away. Staying apart for a while can allow people to come together and they might love you more when they see you again.

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Step 5. Express your feelings

The best way to resolve misunderstandings is to let others know how you are feeling. Try to do this in a respectful and neutral manner. Clarification may be what it takes to get the person to like you rather than rehashing their dislike for you.

Using the "I" in your statements is a good way to communicate without making the person feel like they are being attacked. You can express yourself by saying, "It hurts me that you don't like me and I would like to know what I can do to make things better between us. "

Method 3 of 3: Limit the damage

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Step 1. Explain to the people who matter

If someone doesn't like you, they might gossip about you to friends you have in common or try to hurt you in some other way. If it's a colleague, call your supervisor and explain that you have a dispute with that colleague so that he in turn can be alert to any attempt to sabotage your reputation at work. If this is a mutual friend, explain your point of view to him and make an effort to convey it to him. However, avoid denigrating the person!

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Step 2. Avoid giving the person opportunities to hurt you

When someone doesn't like you, they might try to uncover your secrets to hurt you. You must therefore be careful what you say to such a person. Avoid gossiping about other people in her presence, because she may use this information against you. Protect yourself by being quiet and not giving her the opportunity to use what you say to hurt you. If it's a coworker, avoid making professional mistakes around them, as it could backfire on you.

If that person who doesn't love you is an old friend (or a former friend), chances are they already know a lot that could hurt you. If you think she'll say things that might make you look bad, you can always deliver that information first in case you'd prefer to have control over how it's going to turn out

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Step 3. Prevent the situation from getting out of hand

Sometimes it's a good idea to apologize to someone who doesn't like you, especially if you've done something to offend them. Even if you don't think you've done anything wrong, it might be helpful to apologize to prevent the situation from getting worse. You can do this for your own good, rather than for that person, although you never know how much this might affect their view of you in a positive way.

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Step 4. Communicate with friends

If the person who doesn't like you makes you doubt yourself, ask your friends what they think of the situation if they know him. Getting a second opinion, especially when it comes from people you trust, can make it difficult for you to consider the other's point of view and not be really hard on yourself. Being hated can make you wonder if the person is right about you and that is why it is important for you to be aware of how much it affects you. Prevent your mental health from suffering.

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Step 5. Try to convince the person

Sometimes all it takes to reestablish a professional relationship or friendship is to show your goodwill to that person who doesn't love you. There are a lot of benefits to be gained from doing your best to be of service to people. Kindness alleviates stress and then promotes a longer, healthier life. Also, if you are kind to this person despite their dislike for you, it may cause them to change their mind about you.

However, you should be wary of people who will use your kindness. There are people who take pleasure in using people who are unable to protect themselves against aggressive or manipulative behavior. If such people accept your kindness and then return it out of selfishness or rudeness, it may be better to avoid them than to try to convince them

Advice

  • If the situation turns into a physical assault, make an effort to move away from the person and then call the police.
  • Change direction and walk away from the person or make an effort to fix things.
  • Keep in mind that some people don't like you because of a mistake you might have made, so discuss it with them and don't insult them.
  • If the person is mean to you, that doesn't mean you have to be mean to them. Be honest and remember good manners.
  • Work to become your best friend. It may imply that you need to develop your self-confidence and learn to love yourself. If you become more confident and happy on the inside, it can have a positive effect on the image that others have of you.

Warnings

  • Avoid causing physical conflict.
  • Avoid intense and prolonged emotional conflict with the person.

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