Maybe it's hard enough being with someone who loves you if you don't love them back. It might make you uncomfortable because she likes you, but you're sure you don't like her that way. The most honest and mature way to stop someone from loving you is to be blunt and set boundaries. In some cases, the person may not listen to you and you may need to start ignoring them.
Part 1 of 2: Be direct
Step 1. Be sure of your decision
It's important to make sure that you really want the person to stop loving you. If you are not sure, you will suffer needlessly, just like her and confuse her if you change your mind later. Think about why you want to end the relationship and write your reasons down or talk to a friend you trust.
Step 2. Set appropriate limits
It is important to have boundaries so as not to confuse the person. It usually helps so that you don't have to have an uncomfortable conversation, but sometimes, even if you try to set boundaries, she will still try to get close to you or make inappropriate comments. Here are some appropriate boundaries you could set before talking to him:
- avoid touching or flirting with her;
- stop following her on social media;
- avoid being alone with her;
- keep busy with other people and friends;
- refuses all of her invitations if she tries to do something with you;
- avoid sitting next to her at work or in class.
Step 3. Don't force it
It can be tempting to try and get her to stop loving you by fighting with her, making a scene, or pushing her away with bad habits. However, it may take a while for you to have an effect and it will be more painful in the long run for both of you. She'll probably know you're just trying to push her away. So, stop playing these games and talk to him directly.
Step 4. Have a one-on-one conversation
If she doesn't respect your boundaries or doesn't seem to get the message, you need to have a serious conversation in person. Be clear and firm in letting her know that you don't like her. Of course, it's very embarrassing to be so direct, especially face-to-face, but she's more likely to believe you than if you just text her.
If you've only recently known her and haven't spent a lot of time together, maybe it's okay to call or email her
Step 5. Be specific, clear and honest
You don't need to come off bluntly, but after the conversation this person should know that you don't like them the same way. Don't list all of her flaws, but think of specific and honest reasons for her why you don't like her. Don't use vague phrases like "This has nothing to do with you, the problem is with me." Make sure the conversation is very light.
- If you've only known this girl for a few weeks, tell her this: “You're a good person, but we have completely different interests, groups of friends and lifestyles. We better go our separate ways. "
- If you've known her for a long time, organize your thoughts well before you meet her. Make it clear to her what led to this decision, either because she is a good friend, or because you are dating another girl, or because she is a co-worker. Whatever the reason, keep telling him things won't work. This will ensure the smooth flow of the conversation.
Step 6. Be nice
Even if you want that person to stop loving you, you can still be nice to them by understanding the feelings and views they are expressing. She may try to persuade you by telling you that you are wrong or that she can change. Acknowledge how she feels, but don't let any emotion change your mind.
Step 7. Stay in your position
If you've tried chatting with this girl and she isn't listening to you, keep trying to win yourself over or break your limits, talk to her again. Make it clear to him that you don't feel the same way and that this behavior needs to stop. Repeat what you have already told him and continue to maintain the limits already established.
- Try sending an email instead of having a face-to-face chat so you don't have to be alone with her.
- Try to voice your concerns as you go. For example, if you notice that she is looking at you or saying something inappropriate, say this: “This is bothering me”, “Please stop. I'm not interested”or“Don't tell me these things. "
Step 8. Ask for help
If nothing works and the person continues to insist, ask for help. Tell your parents, friends, teachers or therapist what is happening. Stay away from her, but if you have to be in the same place as her, don't be alone. Records any messages or emails she sends you, especially if they are inappropriate.
Make it clear to your teacher, parents, or other authority that you have already done your best to discourage that person from being interested in you and behaving like that
Part 2 of 2: ignore it
Step 1. Forget it
The easiest way to make someone stop loving you, especially if you've only recently known them, is to stop responding. You can stop answering their messages or calls gradually or suddenly. The important thing is to ignore it anyway.
Step 2. Stop communicating with her
Avoid sharing anything intimate about yourself. It will be very off-putting, because people need to feel that they can trust you and share important things. Good communication is the key to a good relationship, so the more you avoid sharing things with her, the more she will realize that you don't want that relationship.
Step 3. Be Selfish
A good relationship involves sacrifice and dedication. If you want this boy to stop loving you, stop making him a priority in your life. Don't let him think you want to be with him. Focus on yourself, your friends, and the things you've always wanted to do. Declines all his invitations.
Step 4. Ignore this girl's behavior
After trying to end this situation, she may try to be nicer or flirt with you more. Don't thank her for the compliments she gives you, the gifts she gives you, when she holds the door or asks for your news. Do not encourage any attempt at flirtation. Appreciation, nice words, and gratitude are essential for nurturing healthy relationships. So, avoid all this so as not to send him ambiguous messages.
Step 5. Change the settings of your social media accounts
If you are present on social networks, this person will always be able to contact you. Change your account settings to prevent him from knowing everything about your life. You can change the settings (especially on Facebook) in different ways, sometimes without the knowledge of the other person.
- Block her: This will prevent her from trying to send you a friend request in the future.
- Remove her from your friends list.
- Don't follow her: you'll always be friends on these sites, you won't see her posts.
- Customize the sharing options: this will prevent her from seeing anything you don't want her to see.
- Modify your journal settings: this will allow you to prevent it from seeing anything that appears on your journal.
- Activate the settings allowing you to review the posts in which your friends tagged you before they appear on your journal.
- It is very important to set limits when someone likes you or feels attraction to you.
- If at any point you are worried about your safety, if the person starts following you, tries to stay in touch with you, or continually violates your boundaries and personal space, ask for help. Let your friends, parents and authorities know what's going on. Never go alone with this person who is attracted to you.