How to deal with a possessive boyfriend: 13 steps (with pictures)

How to deal with a possessive boyfriend: 13 steps (with pictures)
How to deal with a possessive boyfriend: 13 steps (with pictures)

Of course, it is heartwarming to feel loved and cherished. However, there is a difference between affectionate behavior and possessive behavior. If you notice that your boyfriend is or is becoming possessive, you need to address the situation as soon as possible. Although possessive behavior is usually based on low self-esteem, a possessive individual will turn those feelings against you. A possessive partner may prevent you from expressing your own opinions and feelings, and may even make you feel guilty about living apart from them. He may try to block you from seeing your friends, and will try to gain the upper hand over you. If you do not stop this type of behavior, the situation may escalate. Fortunately, there are some ways you can deal with a possessive boyfriend.


Method 1 of 2: Improve a relationship with a possessive partner

Make Your Boyfriend Feel Happy Step 6

Step 1. Describe your feelings

Your boyfriend may not know that he is behaving in a possessive way towards you. It could be their first relationship, or their ex might have a different personality than you. Maybe he's going through a situation in his life and it causes him to become attached to you more than you would like. Talking about your needs and wants in a relationship is always a good place to start.

  • Try to start with example sentences like when you call me incessantly when I'm with my girlfriends it makes me feel like you don't trust me or I feel really embarrassed when you refuse to talk to me after going out with my boy friends.
  • Give a palpable example of times you felt him possessive by saying I felt really upset when we were at the football game or you ignored me after I finished playing horseshoe with my friends of the University.
  • Avoid name calling. For example, avoid referring to him as someone possessive. On the contrary, you could instead say that you felt his behavior was too possessive and that you were fed up with it. Name calling can lead to arguments, but it won't happen if you only express your feelings.
Calm Down a Jealous Girlfriend Step 5

Step 2. Talk about behaviors that you find unbearable

This should be an explicit, private discussion in which you will talk openly about the behaviors that you do not want to tolerate in a relationship. These should be limited to the issues you don't want to compromise on. Here are some examples of behaviors you can call unacceptable:

  • forbid you to go out with your friends, in this case boys, for no good reason;
  • tell you what outfits to wear or make a fuss if he sees you dressed inappropriately;
  • constantly calling or writing to you when you are away from him;
  • rummage through your phone, email or personal belongings;
  • ask for explanations for all your outings during the day;
  • Blame yourself for needing to change programs for legitimate reasons;
  • give you ultimatums or make threats when you don't give it enough time.
Deal With a Jealous Person Step 5

Step 3. Explain your needs in your relationship

Your boyfriend may not know your specific needs, so it's important to talk to him about them. This can calm their possessive behavior a bit.

  • Explain your need to be independent. Tell your boyfriend that while you enjoy spending time with him, it's important that you can also spend time with your friends and family. Having a life outside of the one you spend with your partner is also an important aspect of a balanced relationship. Also encourage them to spend time with their friends and family without you.
  • Express your desire to be trustworthy. Just like you trust him, he has to trust you too. This is the foundation of all balanced relationships.
  • Understand certain rules in your relationship: for example, you should allow yourself to have and hang out with friends of the opposite sex, but be honest, loyal, and monogamous.
Make Your Boyfriend Jealous Step 2

Step 4. Discuss your commitment to your relationship

Possessive behavior is generally more rooted in low self-esteem and insecurity. If your boyfriend is exhibiting moderate possessive behavior, it might be a good idea to remind him that you are committed to your relationship and that he doesn't need to worry about your intentions at all.

Verbal statements are a powerful way to reassure your boyfriend. A simple I love you and I only love you alone can often do the trick

Stop Being Jealous Step 2

Step 5. Involve him in the programs you do with your friends

Very often his possessiveness will come from jealousy as well as worry. Involve your boyfriend in a few activities your friends organize to help him feel more comfortable about the life you lead in his absence.

For example, it would be better if you introduced your boyfriend to your male friends. He may feel embarrassed that you are spending time with other male friends. However, this is not a reason for you to break up with them. Instead, invite your boyfriend over to show him that there is actually no threat to your relationship

Heal Relationships After Cheating Step 6

Step 6. Give your relationship time to heal

After your discussion of explaining your negative feelings about your relationship, both of your emotions may intensify. So now is a good time to split up and take some time to reflect on what you've been discussing, before getting back together to have a happier, more balanced relationship than before.

  • Know that progress takes time. Your boyfriend won't change overnight. You should consider investing in it to stimulate the realization of this change in these possessive behaviors.
  • Don't be afraid to report it if he slips back into his possessive behaviors. Don't let him get away with it if he does. On the contrary, at the same time blame him for the behavior and tell him how it feels to you.
  • Encourage him when he shows affection without being possessive. If he's behaving in a way that you like, let him know. It will make him want to do more now.
Make Your Boyfriend Jealous Step 8

Step 7. Be realistic

See if it's worth re-establishing your relationship or not. If your boyfriend wants to change his behavior and is willing to treat your feelings with respect and to listen to your needs and wants in your relationship, you may want to consider giving your relationship another chance. However, if you are feeling depressed, worried, anxious, or scared, you need to end the relationship.

Remember that as much as you wanted it to change, you can't change it. He must decide to take the initiative to change himself

Method 2 of 2: Remove yourself from the situation

Break Up with a Possessive Boyfriend Step 28

Step 1. Prepare to break up with your possessive boyfriend

If his possessive behaviors are gaining momentum or if it is already at a very high level, it is crucial to recognize that there is nothing you can do to change it (at least not without expert advice). Her desire to control her partner may be part of her personality, but it's not something you have to put up with. It is therefore high time for you to break up.

Plan what you want to say. Remember that your opinion matters and you deserve to be heard. Don't allow your possessive boyfriend to turn the blame on you, remember that you are the one ending this relationship and you are doing it for a valid and legitimate reason

Break Up a Couple Step 16

Step 2. Go through the breakup

Separations are not easy and can seem especially difficult if you are the victim in a possessive relationship.

  • Pick a place and time to break up with your boyfriend. While breaking up is always best done on a one-to-one basis, be aware that a possessive partner can react in ways that are too emotional and abusive.

    A crowded public square can be the safest place to break up if you're worried about your boyfriend's potential reactions

  • Tell a trusted friend or loved one about your intention to break up with your possessive boyfriend. Tell him to hold you accountable to make it through.
  • Make him let you talk. You need to be able to tell her what you want to say to her without being interrupted. As long as you do it in a regulated and courteous manner, he should listen to you.
  • Don't dawdle. After you've said what you have to say and given her the opportunity to speak, remove yourself from the situation. Allow the situation to calm down before you reconnect.
Spot a Sociopath Step 7

Step 3. Prepare for the potential repercussions

If your boyfriend was possessive while you were dating, he's likely to exhibit the same behavior in your breakup. Preparing yourself accordingly will allow you to deal with them when the time comes.

  • Be aware of his attempt to make you feel guilty about staying with him. He can do it that way, do you remember one day we went for a walk on the beach at sunrise? or can also proceed with a serious threat (such as end of life). The most important thing is to recognize that this is emotional manipulation and do not tolerate it!

    If your ex-boyfriend is threatening to hurt himself or others, it's important that you let someone know immediately. Call 112 if you believe he or someone else is in immediate danger

  • Camp on your positions. Despite your boyfriend's reaction, remember that you made a wise choice to end this unhealthy relationship you were in.
Know when You'll Get Your First Period Step 14

Step 4. Seek support from friends and relatives

You should seek help and support from close friends and family for whatever you need. You may need them to help you reconfirm your decision to break up or to remind you of some behaviors related to your current ex-boyfriend.

Reconnecting with the people you may have lost while in a relationship with your ex-boyfriend can be an important part of moving you forward outside of this unhealthy relationship

Get out of a Depression Step 16

Step 5. Seek help from specialists if you need it

Breaking away from a possessive relationship is not easy. However, the fear of living alone shouldn't make you want to live with a man who controls you. A therapist can help you deal with your negative feelings and can help you deal with the pain of your breakup as well.

Talking about your relationship can be a great way to end your boyfriend's bad behavior

Get out of a Depression Step 5

Step 6. Give yourself time to heal

Whether it's good or bad, ending a relationship is never easy. It is advisable to take some time before re-entering a new relationship. When you are ready, you can take the following steps to move on from your possessive relationship.

  • Reflect on the vicissitudes of your old relationship. It is important that you remember that you had good times and bad times. The time you spent in this relationship is not wasted, but on the contrary, it served you well: it taught you to know what you don't want in a spouse.
  • Learn to recognize the signs of a possessive partner early on. In the coming times, you will be more used to the warning signs of jealousy and possessive behavior. You will be more careful with the next person you date.
  • Remember to have love for yourself. If your relationship caused you to lose any self-esteem, confidence, or self-esteem, take some time to get them back. Spending time with friends, learning a new hobby, or seeking solace in a favorite place are good ways to reconnect with your inner self.
  • Start your next relationship with care and caution. Use lessons from the old relationship to build a happy, healthy relationship with the next person you find when the time is right.

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