Sometimes you run into people you would like to avoid. While there are a few precautions you can take to avoid the person in question, it may not always be possible to do it completely. There are several options you can think of to dodge people you don't want to see, such as surrounding yourself with people you want to see or avoiding certain situations.
Method 1 of 3: Feel comfortable in your environment
Step 1. Keep a positive attitude
Sometimes you don't want to talk to some people because you don't feel comfortable around them. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are a nice person. Remember that you have the right to have your own limits and to express your feelings of embarrassment.
- Focus on what you want and what makes you happy. Then try to find people with an attitude similar to yours. Instead of trying to avoid people (because that's a negative attitude), instead try surrounding yourself with people like you who make you feel comfortable.
- Your thoughts contribute to your mood and even your actions. Smile and take the time to tell yourself that you are where you need to be.
- A positive attitude will help you attract equally positive people.
Step 2. Do activities that appeal to you
You aren't always going to want to talk to everyone everywhere, but by doing activities that you enjoy, you will put yourself in situations where nicer people will come and talk to you.
- If you are in school, try joining a group or club that interests you. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, there are plenty of extracurricular activities for everyone. Whether it is the theater or a sports team, you can find an activity to practice in a group of people who are like you.
- Doing something you enjoy doing will help you feel more confident and meet people like yourself while also giving you an opportunity to occupy yourself and avoid situations or people that you don't want to see.
Step 3. Focus on your pleasure
Instead of worrying about others and their reactions, focus on enjoying yourself. Realize that if someone is mean to you or tries to make you sad, that's okay with you.
- Often times, people take their frustration off on someone else because they feel insecure.
- It will be easier for you to avoid someone if you use your energy on things that you love to do. You will not have time to take care of someone who does not help you with these activities.
Step 4. Enjoy the company of your friends
Whether you're at a social event, at school, or at work, surround yourself with people you get along with to feel more comfortable.
- If you often find yourself in contact with mean people or people you don't want to talk to, ask a friend to come to the rescue.
- Tell your friends about this person. Calmly explain the situation to them and ask them to come and intervene if this person comes up to you.
Method 2 of 3: Deal with someone you don't want to talk to
Step 1. Treat everyone with politeness
If you meet someone you don't want to talk to because they're mean to you or because you've had issues in the past, you should never forget to be polite. You can effectively shorten the conversation by staying well-mannered and not letting his attitude push you to fight back.
- You won't always be able to avoid someone you don't want to talk to. However, you can keep your interactions to a minimum by avoiding facial expressions.
- Take a break and take a deep breath. Focus on yourself. Your goal is to complete the interaction as quickly as possible.
- Politely apologize for leaving the discussion instead of acting like that person. Stay calm and tell her you have a date. Then go away.
Step 2. Indicate your limits
You don't always have to tell your limits to someone you want to avoid, but you can still tell them what you are and are not willing to tolerate. Camp on your positions and stick to them.
- It could be psychological or physical limitations. You have the right to your personal space and you can explain to him what this means for you.
- Whether that individual is an office colleague, classmate, or ex, you need to make it clear to them how and when you want to interact with them. Even though it may seem difficult, don't be afraid to be blunt.
- If someone has gotten into the habit of invading your private space, just tell them you need more physical space the next time you meet them. You can be direct at the start of the discussion by telling them that you only have a certain amount of time to spend in this conversation. In addition, you can also tell him that you prefer to communicate by email or text.
Step 3. Ignore this individual
Chances are, you're not the only one who wants to avoid it. Watch carefully how other people deal with people they want to avoid. If you've tried more straightforward methods that didn't work, try skipping it now. Ask the class how they ignore unwanted people.
- Sometimes you might have a relationship with someone who isn't going to work out. It can be a couple relationship, but also an office relationship. If you've made several unsuccessful attempts to put some distance between the two of you, you can now ignore it.
- This is not the easiest solution, especially if that individual is insistent, but over time it is an effective method.
- Ignoring him doesn't mean you'll ridicule him or be mean to him. This means that you are going to pretend he is not there. However, you should not handle the situation in a childish way. Sometimes when you ignore it you also have to be smarter and walk away if you find yourself in the same place.
Method 3 of 3: Avoid someone completely
Step 1. Avoid situations where you might see yourself
Sometimes you have to make changes to avoid someone you don't want to talk to. If you know this person is going to a party or event, don't go.
- Unless you find yourself in a situation that you cannot leave, such as at work or school, you may have to give up certain events to avoid people you don't want to see.
- Tell a close friend that you are not going to go there. Tell him honestly why and don't do it meanly.
- If you are out there and see someone you don't want to talk to, try moving somewhere else. If you are at a party or at a bar, you could go to another area so as not to run the risk of running into that person.
Step 2. Ask for help
If you really don't want to interact with someone, but have a really hard time avoiding them, you might ask for help. For example, you can get help from your friends, your parents, your manager or a therapist.
- If you find that you can't avoid each other because you take classes together or because you work in the same place, you might want to ask someone for help, such as your manager or a therapist.
- Calmly explain to them why you don't want to interact with this individual. It may be preventing you from completing your work because you don't feel comfortable. You may find it hard to concentrate in class because this person doesn't want to leave you alone. Talk to an authority official about your reasons for wanting to avoid contact with that individual.
Step 3. Cut ties with him
If at all possible, be frank and end the relationship. If it's an ex you don't want to see anymore or if it's a member of a larger group of friends, you can just cut ties with that person.
- Set your limits once and for all and don't apologize for it. Your health and inner peace are much more important. Although it can be difficult, tell her that you don't want to have any more contacts, whoever they are.
- Don't change your mind. Some people will not leave you alone that easily. However, if you stand firm, you are going to get there. Do not contact him anymore.
- You have the right to tell him directly that you no longer want to see him or talk to him. Sometimes if you're a little harsh and blunt, people get the message better. You might think you were mean, but remember that you did what you needed to do for your own good.
- You don't have to look him in the eye, but be polite and tell him you're not in the mood.
- If someone is mean to you, walk away for three seconds if you can, think about what you want to respond to, get back into the conversation, and do the best you can.