3 ways to communicate with a sociopathic friend

3 ways to communicate with a sociopathic friend
3 ways to communicate with a sociopathic friend
Anonim

Have you often had the impression that your "best friend" is only caring and kind in appearance, but deep down is rather manipulative, selfish, and has no empathy? If this is the case, then know that there is a good chance that your friend is a sociopath. Knowing and understanding the characteristics of a sociopath will allow you to know how you are going to collaborate with your friend and to decide whether you should continue the friendship. In some cases, the best decision might be to break up with your friend for your emotional well-being.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Identify a sociopath

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 1

Step 1. Write down the terms that describe your comrade

If your friend is a sociopath, phrases like "cunning," "ruthless," and "manipulative" will be on the list you come up with to describe them. It is very important that you can identify the qualities of your friend so that you can reassess the friendship you have with him. Despite their individual differences, sociopaths are likely to be pathological liars, manipulators who seek to be close to people and then harm them.

Contrary to popular belief, not all sociopaths (or very few of them) end up becoming serial killers. Also, many of them are not violent at all

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 2

Step 2. Look for signs that your friendship is a trick

A sociopath may not be interested in friendship depending on how you perceive it. Rather than being your friend, he might just be looking for a loyal follower. He may just treat you like a friend with the sole intention of enjoying your company. In these kinds of circumstances, you will notice that as long as you care about him he will do anything to have you by his side. However, the moment he gets tired of you, there's a good chance he'll abandon you.

You won't find two social misfits who are alike, and their actions, points, and motivations can vary widely. You will have to rely on your common sense when it comes to your partner's antisocial personality disorder

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 3

Step 3. Avoid directly calling a selfish friend a sociopath

It is always difficult to identify a true psychopath, because these people are very good at hiding their true nature. Symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder can be mistaken for characteristics of someone who is simply not a good friend or who has very little experience with social interactions. On the other hand, it could also be that your mate is just incredibly egotistical without actually being a psychopath.

At the end of the day, a bad friend is obviously still a bad friend, a true sociopath or not. It's hard to think of someone who doesn't really care about your feelings or who tries to manipulate you as a friend all the time. If friendship doesn't bring you any benefit and doesn't make you happy, then you might want to think about re-evaluating it

Method 2 of 3: Bring up the topic with your friend

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 4

Step 1. Write down the times your friend has abused you

It is important to write down times when your friend abused or used you. You need to reflect on your relationship and then make the effort to determine if there is a lack of guilt or awareness on the part of your friend. In order to get a clear picture of your thoughts, you can write down the feelings that you have had as well as the facts that have happened whenever you have felt that you have been wronged. By doing this, you may end up noticing that there are correlations or trends.

For example, you can note the moment when through your friend's fault you both got a bad mark on an exam because they reproduced the contents of your copy in full and then blamed you for the fact. for not making it easier for him to see what you wrote

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 5

Step 2. Determine the true status of your friendship

You should avoid making embarrassment or grief cloud your point of view based on the evidence you have. Rest assured, it is quite normal to be in denial, as you will have great difficulty coping with your friend's apparent sociopathy. However, you should remember that the sooner you admit the reality of the situation, the sooner you can deal with it honestly.

  • You may feel manipulated or mistreated, and rightly so. However, you should not be ashamed of this, as some sociopaths are proven manipulators and abusers.
  • Your peer may not be a "friend" in the normal sense of the word. It has clearly not been established that a true sociopath can be a true friend. To this effect, some specialists claim that such people cannot really experience emotions like compassion, while others do not share this opinion. You will therefore need to be able to determine your friend's specific situation as well as the status of your relationship.
Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 4

Step 3. Share your concerns with your friend

It is of the utmost importance that you can express your concerns to your friend and then analyze their reaction. Be calm and justify your reasoning on the basis of hard facts. Be honest and don't try to make things better than you think they are. You must avoid underestimating yourself.

  • For example, you can express yourself in these terms, "Marc, I now know that you are lying to me and that you no longer care how much your actions are causing me pain. Allow me to mention a few examples…”
  • You might notice that sociopaths tend to become verbally more aggressive when their integrity is called into question. Rather than trying to argue about the facts you are presenting, he could focus on your motivations or your qualities by making statements like "are you trying to tell me that I am a sociopath?" Know that you are not a psychiatrist! Or "Why are you trying to hurt me by making these accusations unfounded?" Whatever he says, all you need to do to be able to work things out is stay calm and stick to the topic of the discussion.
Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 7

Step 4. Don't beat yourself up for being honest

When feeling confused, the sociopath may seek to make you feel sorry for them. The moment he sees that you feel bad for questioning him, he'll see it as a victory instead of worrying about why you doubt him.

If your friend addresses you in these terms, “You're exaggerating too much. What kind of comrade makes such unfounded accusations? You can respond in turn by saying "I won't allow you to pass myself off as the bad guy here, I'm just presenting the facts and telling the truth"

Step 5. Help him get support, if he wants to

No matter how much you care about the person, you must realize that you cannot successfully "treat" a social maladjusted person on your own. In fact, it has clearly not been shown that treatments related to mental health can significantly affect the behaviors or views of many sociopaths. However, if your fellow student seems to really want help with change, it is up to you to support their efforts. For example, you can help him find a psychologist.

It is also possible that he even mocks the idea of ​​needing help or that he agrees to be assisted only with the sole intention of manipulating you, and with a little hope, to do something wrong. even with the psychologist. If this is the case, then you will have to decide whether your friendship can continue under such conditions

Method 3 of 3: Prioritize your own well-being

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 8

Step 1. Manage your emotions through healthy self-care techniques

Whether you've been the victim of a sociopathic friend or just embarrassed that you didn't know the truth, know that it's completely normal for you to feel frustrated or even angered. Realizing that your boyfriend doesn't really care about you can not only increase stress levels, it can hurt your self-esteem as well. You can successfully overcome negative physical and emotional symptoms by devoting yourself to a self-care regimen.

  • Meditation, yoga, deep breathing, visualization techniques, training for full growth, physical activities, experiencing nature, and reading can all be incorporated into a self-care regimen. You must therefore be able to identify the activities that give you a feeling of serenity and peace and practice them regularly.
  • Eating a healthy diet, drinking enough water, and getting enough sleep can go a long way in improving your physical and mental health.
Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 9

Step 2. Express your concerns to other people

You can also share your concerns with other people who are close to your friend. If you are particularly concerned about the well-being of your friend, consider chatting with his family or with others who know him well. If you take this approach, you should avoid making negative comments about him or her. Instead, calmly present a few examples of his sociopathic behavior. Refrain from telling others what to do with this information, but find out if they think your partner could benefit from therapy or other help.

For example, you can send the following message: “Mrs. Dupont, I wanted to inform you about the reasons why I have distanced myself from your daughter. Laura is still my friend, but I have concerns about her that I would like to bring to your attention. Can we go for a cup of coffee one of these days so we can talk about it? "

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 10

Step 3. Seek help from a specialist for yourself

If you feel that you need it, you can enlist the help of a specialist for your own need. If you can't help but think about the fact that you've been raped, manipulated, or cheated on, you should strongly consider seeking the help of a licensed psychologist. The latter can help you assess the status of your relationship with your sociopathic friend, develop effective coping techniques, and can provide you with advice that will help you decide whether to continue the friendship or put an end to it.

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 11

Step 4. Stop seeing it

As soon as you realize and accept the true nature of your friend, it may be necessary for your well-being for you to take a step back from your friendship by limiting parties, phone calls and many more.. By proceeding gradually, it will be easier for you to deal with your emotions, and this can also allow you to avoid a potentially unpleasant confrontation with him.

  • Without telling your friend anything, you may need to implement a so-called “three faults” policy to make up your mind. This way, every time your partner commits a "mistake" (such as a manipulation technique or a broken promise), you can further distance yourself from the relationship. After the third fault, you should completely end the friendship.
  • Your friend might use the manipulation to try to keep you in check or just get bored of you. Either way, you need to be firm about your choices and your needs.
Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 12

Step 5. End the friendship altogether if necessary

To completely break up the friendship, you need to tell your friend to leave you alone. In addition to being firm and assertive, you also need to make sure you are consistent and direct. Your very soon ex-friend may try to manipulate you into changing your mind and do so by using lies, guilt, or other means.

The best tactic you can adopt to thwart these attempts is to never falter in your decisions. For example, you can say the following: “I'm sorry Mathieu, I made a decision and you need to know it: a friendship is no longer possible between us. It's not very good for me to be with you. There is nothing you can say to change my mind”

Deal With a Sociopathic Friend Step 13

Step 6. Accept reality if you decide to remain friends

In many cases, it is quite possible to form a friendship with a sociopath. You don't have to stop dating for the simple reason that he can't be the perfect mate all the time, unless he's hurting you. Even if your friendship is limited to just a simple conversation that allows you to pass the time, that doesn't mean that he will necessarily be after you.

  • A sociopath always has feelings, even if he lacks them, and there may be situations where he will become attached to a person. You just have to make sure that you are not being manipulated.
  • If your classmate is being rude or disrespectful, tell him or her without hesitation. If you enjoy his company and like spending time with him, make sure he knows that as well. In fact, sociopaths usually have emotional issues and they need very clear directions when it comes to emotional concerns.

Advice

  • Sociopathy is associated with mental illnesses, typically antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. The psychopath generally does not feel remorse or guilt for his attitude or behavior towards others. He also doesn't feel love (although he doesn't always do) or compassion like any ordinary person. The friendship he has with you, as well as all the other aspects that relate to appearance such as charm, charisma, attention or compassion are part of his public personality.
  • Be kind and don't be judgmental in advance, even if you make the decision to no longer be his friend. If you manage to treat the psychopath like an ordinary person, this way you can allow him to experience the pleasure of trust and kindness, which can lead him to seek to consolidate this feeling with others.

Warnings

  • Don't try to change your sociopathic friend's behavior on your own. Give him the opportunity to seek professional help. The obvious thing to face is that you cannot change that person. Sociopathy is considered a lifelong mental illness.
  • It should be noted that not all sociopaths are the same. The characteristics listed below are not always present in all cases.

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