Is your girlfriend or close friend behaving strangely around you? Does she treat you coldly or send you negative signals that embarrass you? Instead of ignoring all of this, it's better to try to figure out if something is wrong or if you are just exaggerating. You can do this by interpreting his body language and his words. You can also talk to her friends or family to see if she is angry and if necessary you can talk to her directly.
Part 1 of 3: Interpret verbal and body language
Step 1. Observe if she has closed body language
Not all people express their anger verbally, so analyze their behavior. The obvious signs of anger are: tremors, sweating, and a flushed or flushed face. These signs are not all equally obvious, so also consider the following:
- having a clenched jaw or fist;
- avoiding eye contact;
- moving your body away from yours;
- crossing your arms over your chest;
- frowning, rolling eyes, or other cold expressions.
Step 2. Listen to the tone of his voice
If she's talking to you in a strained or mocking tone, sort of like clenched teeth, it's probably not because you impressed her. Likewise, she may use a sarcastic tone or make fun of you when someone is talking about you in the conversation or when you are trying to talk to her. Here are some other signs you can look for:
- She's screaming;
- she screams;
- she raises her voice;
- she speaks curtly to you.
Step 3. Check if she is not answering your calls or text messages
She can express her anger by ending all phone calls. She might not answer your texts and ignore your calls and voicemail messages. This can be the case if you text her and she doesn't respond quickly as usual or doesn't respond at all.
- If she's texting you back, look for any signs of aggressive passive anger, such as usually sarcastic or short responses. Also watch out for rhetorical responses such as "How do you think I'm doing?" When you ask her how she is.
- You might also notice that she uses more punctuation in her posts, especially the full stop. Putting a period at the end of a message could be seen as a sign of aggression or anger.
Part 2 of 3: talk to loved ones
Step 1. Ask his closest friends if something is wrong
If your boyfriend or close friend has cut off all communication with you, either in person or in some other way, contact her close friends to find out if she is upset. Ask her friend this question: "Have you spoken to her lately?" And "Do you know if she is mad at me?" She might confirm your doubts or speak directly to your friend to give you an answer.
- You can try to reach people with whom she has regular contact, for example her classmates or coworkers.
- Be respectful when approaching a close friend of the girl and don't put pressure on her if she doesn't want to share information with you.
- He may advise you to try talking to him directly. Heed this advice and don't make him feel uncomfortable not telling you the truth.
Step 2. Contact his parents or other close family members
You may also want to talk to the girl's family, especially if she has a close relationship with those close to her and confides in them. Contact one of her siblings who knows you and is close to her. Politely ask him if he knows if your friend is upset with you.
You can also talk to his parents, especially if you know them well and have a good relationship with them
Step 3. Talk to mutual friends, if you have one
If you have a mutual friend, consider contacting them to find out more about your girlfriend. Ask if he has noticed his aggressive or strange behavior towards you and if she has given him a negative comment about you lately. This can help you tell if she is angry.
- If the mutual friend seems to resent you, it means that she may have confided in him. Ask him what happened.
- If the person refuses to tell you what happened, contact someone else. If you get the same answer, you'll probably have to use a different tactic.
Part 3 of 3: talk to him personally
Step 1. Find a quiet, secluded place to talk
The discussion can take place in your apartment, in a park, or at your favorite place on campus. While it can be difficult, having a serious and honest discussion with her can help her express her anger, determine the cause, and perhaps resolve the issue.
Let her choose the meeting place. This is a way of giving him some control over the situation, which can help him express himself more easily
Step 2. Come with a gift of reconciliation
If you're worried about having an emotionally intense conversation, it doesn't hurt to bring a gift to make peace, especially if you think you are wrong. You can bring him a small gift, such as his favorite food or drink. You can also bring her flowers to show her that you understand her state of mind and that you feel guilty about the mistakes you have made.
- Bringing a peace-making gift can also make it easier to start the conversation because you'll lighten the mood by giving her something that she probably likes.
- Keep it casual and don't make it a big show, especially if you're in public. If she's mad at you, she might not want to be put in the spotlight.
Step 3. Ask him directly what you did wrong
If you're not sure what you did wrong, start the conversation by asking her why she is upset with you. Say something like this, “I know you're angry with me, but I don't know why. Can you tell me?"
If you suspect that she is angry, avoid asking her this question, as she will likely resent you more
Step 4. Apologize and redeem yourself
If you admit your mistakes, you should sincerely apologize to her. First admit your wrong and then offer a clear apology. For example, say this: "I understand that you resent me for forgetting your birthday last week." I was very busy at work and it crossed my mind. I am deeply sorry and I promise this will not happen again."
- After you apologize, you can ask him this question: "Do you accept my apologies?" If she says yes, show her gratitude and be humble.
- Make up for your mistake with a concrete action. For example, if you missed her birthday, take her to a special dinner party and be sure not to forget her next year.