It can seem daunting trying to win over someone who has already turned down a first invite. But it may be that by giving her a little time to get to know you better, the girl (or boy) you care about will also be interested in you. In other words, don't give up right away. Instead, give yourself the time and courage to invite her again.
Part 1 of 2: Knowing where you stand in the relationship
Step 1. Find out why she refused the first time
It can be a bit difficult, because you wouldn't like to look desperate or too hurt. However, if he (she) has not given you a satisfactory answer that justifies his refusal, it would be a good idea to ask him a few questions in order to get an idea of what he is thinking.
- If she tells you very openly that she wouldn't want to date you by saying something like "I don't care about you the way you think" or "I'm going through a rough time right now and I don't want to date anyone. So don't bother her by asking for further explanations.
- We are often caught off guard when someone asks us on a date, and as a result, we make up an immediate response that may not be quite the truth. Approach him calmly and ask him if he would like to have coffee (as friends) so that you can talk to him about something. Once you're together, ask her if there's a specific reason she refused to date you or if this is how you approached her the first time she didn't. loved to the point of refusing your invitation. Don't ask him for another date after that and thank him for enlightening you and showing patience and understanding.
Step 2. Think about the relationship you have with the person today
Sometimes it is the essence of the relationship itself that is the source of the denial. Is this your best friend? Maybe she's afraid this will ruin everything? Have you recently had conflicts with her to the point that it causes her to be confused or angry? Think back to the nature of your relationship with her to try to understand if it in any way influenced her refusing to date you.
If this is someone you invited after meeting them at a party or party, that doesn't necessarily apply to you. However, if he's a good friend, maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship you have now or something in his life is preventing him from starting a new relationship. You may also simply not be interested in you. In this case, take your time and be patient before trying again
Step 3. Think about your approach
Is this someone you didn't know and invited in a humiliating way? Were you nervous or overconfident in your approach or did you catch your friend unawares who doesn't know how to react? If you've ever invited someone out, think back to which approaches worked and which failed. Also, think about how you approached it.
Step 4. Respect his decision
If you invite her on a date and she refuses, don't insist. She will see you as desperate and it can be particularly annoying for her if you keep pushing when she has already told you no. Once you know the reason she refused, you should respect her decision and not ask her to date you again.
Step 5. Be patient
As mentioned earlier, it is essential to respect your decision and give it time. She may need to reflect on the situation a bit and over time she may find that you are interested in her too. Then give her some space for her to think about how she feels about you so that she might say yes.
Part 2 of 2: Invite her out again
Step 1. Don't show that his refusal affected you
One of the most obvious ways to show someone who's refused to date you that you're hurt is to act weird or awkward when she's around or to avoid her. While you're not supposed to be too much of her life, you still need to act casually and not show that you're affected when you're around her. If you step out of her life and become distant, you might miss the opportunity to ask her on a date again.
She may feel a little embarrassed after finding out that you are romantically interested in you to the point that she takes her distance from you a bit so that you aren't with her all the time. Analyze the situation to decide if it is better for you to distance yourself from her or if you need to remain as present as you always have been. Either way, it's important not to show that you were too hurt by her refusal or that it created a lack of confidence in you. No one is attracted to those who lack self-confidence. So keep an air of confidence
Step 2. Become friends with her again
After giving her time to think, it's time to come back to her life. Maybe you've decided to act like everything is okay or gave her some space, but know that you need to befriend her again before you offer to date you again.
- If you weren't friends, maybe by becoming one you'll be more likely to accept her. She may not be comfortable with someone she doesn't know. Therefore, giving her the opportunity to get to know you better can increase your chances of accepting your new invitation to date you.
- If you were already friends from the start, you should try to leave the friend zone you were in before. That way, she'll feel like you've already accepted the fact that nothing is going to happen between you and that you don't love her anymore. Approach her now as a simple friend and don't show that you're interested in something else so that she won't be uncomfortable with you.
Step 3. Practice good hygiene
Obviously, this doesn't guarantee 100% that she will accept your invitation, but it will help you get the “yes” you want to hear, especially if she finds you attractive. Consider starting the gym or trying out a new hairstyle to get her attention. Also take care of your hygiene. People don't like dating someone who isn't taking care of their body!
Step 4. Flirt with her and with other people
From time to time, it can be helpful to flirt with the one you are interested in to show them that you like them. However, you shouldn't just flirt with her or do it all the time. Make it clear that you have several options and that you are also thinking of other people. Maybe the jealousy will make her realize that she is interested in you too.
If you want her to realize that you still have an interest in her, don't focus all of your attention on someone else. This can make her confused or make her think that you have completely forgotten about it
Step 5. Pay attention to the way she behaves around you
Before asking her to date you again, it can be helpful to see if anything has changed in the way she interacts with you. If she's more playful or suddenly interested in your love life, know that she may be starting to see you differently.
Step 6. Use a different approach
Now that you've taken the time to improve your relationship with him (her) and grabbed his attention, it's time to ask him to date you. Nevertheless, it would be better if you change your approach and do things differently this time around to improve your luck. Be confident and ask him the question of how you think you are most likely to hear “yes”.
- Be calm while you invite her out on a date. Don't seem desperate or make her feel like all you've been thinking about is inviting her again. Tell her that you'd like to invite her over for coffee or lunch (or whatever else you want to do) and make it a little casual. Also, you could take him to a concert, in other words, something that could also be done with a friend. He may be more willing to accept this kind of date if he feels that you are not going to be in a serious relationship.
- If after all this he rejected you again, it's time to put him aside and move on. A boy (or a girl) may refuse to date you once, without really thinking about it. But, if he (she) does it a second time, it means that he has had time to think about it and is still not interested. In that case, you better respect her decision and understand that you weren't meant to be together.