Romantic relationships can be complex, and feelings of jealousy can eventually arise, intentionally or not. If you've noticed that a boy is intentionally trying to make you jealous, you will need to take steps to end the behavior without further complicating your relationship. The exact method to follow will depend on whether it is someone you have a crush on, a boyfriend or an ex, as there are a few basic principles for each case.
Method 1 of 3: React when it's a boy you have a crush on
Step 1. Examine his actions
If a guy you like is trying to make you jealous, it's important to consider whether the attempt is intentional or not. He may be flirting with other girls in your presence to get your attention, but he may be just flirting with you, causing him to make you jealous without thinking.
- This problem usually arises when the boy is flirting with you and other girls at the same time. You may have a hard time finding out if he actually loves you or if he is just flirting with random girls. To find out if he likes you more than other girls, ask yourself if there is a difference between his attempts to flirt with you and his interactions with others.
- For example, when you see him in the hallway of the school, follow his gaze. If he looks at you immediately, that's probably a good sign. On the other hand, if he keeps looking at another girl and barely notices you (or not at all), that's a bad sign.
- Try not to assume that a guy who talks about his girlfriend all the time in front of you is doing it to make you jealous. It is quite possible that he is head over heels in love with her and is just trying to talk to you about her. Even if he really does use his girlfriend to try to make you jealous or arouse romantic feelings in you, his infidelity and disrespect is a clear sign that you should avoid him, as he would likely be a toxic partner..
Step 2. Be honest about your feelings
If you really believe that this guy is trying to make you jealous, it might be best to talk to him openly and honestly about your romantic feelings. It is not unlikely that he will get carried away by his actions because he is not sure what feelings you have for him. Letting her know that your feelings are mutual may solve the problem.
- This is of course easier said than done and you also run the risk of being rejected if you go all the way to confess your feelings to her. Either way, clarifying things is the only way to solve the problem and prevent the situation from escalating.
- Wait until the next time the two of you flirt in a quiet place in private, then let him know that you feel something for him. Wait for her response before thinking about the best way to approach the issue of jealousy.
Step 3. State the problem
Regardless of how she responds to your statement, you won't be able to avoid facing your feelings of jealousy. However, what exactly you need to do will depend heavily on its concrete response.
- If this man wants to build a serious relationship with you, you should tell him in a relaxed and jovial manner that from now on he will only have to book his attempts at flirting for you. Avoid making him feel guilty, but make it clear that you don't want him to keep hitting on other girls.
- If he reacts indifferently to your confession or dismisses the idea of having something more serious with you, politely ask him to stop hitting on you. If a guy is just flirting with you without committing, he will only play with your emotions, which is not healthy for either of you.
Step 4. Say goodbye if things don't change
If that man you like doesn't change his behavior after you've expressed your feelings to him and exposed the problem to him, you're probably better off breaking contact with him.
- If you start a relationship with a boy who can't help but flirt with other girls, it will only breed constant frustration and insecurity, which in the long run will cause serious damage to your relationship.
- It's always difficult to have a good relationship with a man who doesn't share your feelings. However, if he continues to cheat on you even though he should know you better, it would be best if you move on.
Method 2 of 3: Behave when it comes to your boyfriend
Step 1. Discuss your feelings with him
Sit down with your boyfriend for a conversation and let him know what you think about the behavior he's been having lately. Try to set limits, specifying what behaviors you think are acceptable and not.
- He might not be trying to make you jealous because he might not realize the effect his interactions with other girls are having on you. If you tell him about it, it could limit his inappropriate behavior in the future.
- Even if he deliberately tried to make you jealous, it could be due to his own feelings of insecurity in the relationship. If you fully discuss it, both of you will have the opportunity to express yourself. At the same time, your boyfriend can assure you that his feelings towards you have not changed.
Step 2. Keep Calm
Before, during, and after the conversation, try to stay calm. Don't get angry if your boyfriend does or says something that makes you jealous again.
- Express your feelings by using the first person in your sentences ("I'm mad") instead of blaming him ("you made me mad").
- If it really is a misunderstanding, staying calm can help you resolve issues in the best possible way and with the minimum of conflict.
- However, if he is deliberately trying to make you jealous and you explode with anger in front of him, you will only give him the reaction he was hoping for with his negative behavior. So, instead of reacting this way, you should stay calm and adopt a mature position during the discussion. If his behavior persists even after your conversation, he may have serious self-control issues. In that case, it might be better to break up.
Step 3. Reassure him
Sometimes a boy can try to make you jealous because he's not sure how much you feel for him. This insecurity does not justify his behavior, but makes it something normal.
- His attempts to make you jealous might be aimed at getting your attention. As you "remember" that this is a trap, know that he is just trying to win your affection.
- Try to reconnect with your partner to give them the confidence they need. Compliment him. Be grateful when he does something good for you. Hug him, kiss him, and send him physical affection because you feel comfortable around him.
Step 4. Deal with your own feelings of insecurity
Not only do you have to face his uncertainties, but you also have to deal with your own. If you can manage to gain more confidence and self-esteem, it will probably be easier for you to stop worrying about your feelings of jealousy, which will eventually leave you with more energy to invest in strengthening your relationship.
- Understand your own emotions. When you're jealous, admit it and make sure it's a natural feeling that you don't have to be ashamed of. Only by accepting your jealousy can you learn to overcome it.
- Take the time to focus on your own interests that are unrelated to your relationship. Your personal development will allow you to achieve the good in your relationship, which will help you recognize that your boyfriend really loves you.
Method 3 of 3: React if it's an ex
Step 1. Ignore it
If your ex is intentionally trying to brag about his new relationship, showing you jealousy is only giving him the reaction he was hoping for. Do not respond when he tries to contact you by email, text or social media. If he's trying to make you jealous in person, respond as naturally as possible, end the conversation, and leave.
- In addition to not responding directly, you should also resist the temptation to post vague, passive and aggressive messages on Facebook or Twitter. Also, avoid complaining about his behavior to mutual friends who might tell him about your reaction.
- Persist. It's quite possible that he goes even harder to make you jealous because of your initial disinterest. However, if you persist in ignoring him, he should eventually realize that his behavior is having no effect on you.
Step 2. Limit its options
If your ex is particularly stubborn and his behavior is starting to really bother you, you should cut ties with him. Remove them from the friends list and block them on all your social media accounts. If the situation gets rather serious, block their phone number and mark their email as spam.
He may be happy for a short while if he notices that you are reacting with anger and that he has served his purpose of getting your attention. But now that he has no way to keep making you jealous, he will have no choice but to stop
Step 3. Avoid transitional relationships
You may want to fight fire with fire or in this case jealousy with jealousy. However, in most cases this is not a good idea at all. Starting a new relationship just to make your ex jealous isn't fair to your new boyfriend and you won't gain anything yourself.
Also, if you are deeply in love with your new partner and go out everywhere with him, it can be damaging to your new relationship as well. If you use him to get revenge on your ex, you will only be focusing on your old relationship. Reinforcing jealousy will only fuel the war between you indefinitely. A much better option is to cut ties with him and focus entirely on your new relationship
Step 4. Resist the temptation to get back together
Even if the opportunity to get back with your ex presents itself, and even if you think about it, don't. An ex who goes to so much trouble to make you jealous is clearly capable of hurting you. He's not the kind of boy who deserves your love and affection.
- If your current boyfriend keeps trying to intentionally make you jealous after your conversation, you may need couples therapy to sort out these issues once and for all. In the worst case, your problems cannot be solved. It would then be very beneficial for both of you to end the relationship.
- If your ex's behavior gets worse when you start ignoring them and they are harassing or threatening you, it might be a good idea to file a complaint.