There you are, there are two girls you like. You might be dating one of them right now, you might be both or neither of you. If these two girls like you, they are waiting for you to make a decision and pick just one. Take this situation seriously. Pick one before losing them both.
Part 1 of 3: Thinking about the options
Step 1. Think about what you are looking for
Consider whether you want a serious relationship or a less serious one. Do you want a flirt, a regular girlfriend or a long term partner? Think about your current situation and your goals beyond these two girls. It can be easy to let your judgment be blinded by your passion. It might be helpful to take a step back so you can understand what you're really looking for.
For now, you may need to focus on your career. Maybe you need some stability or more relaxed moments that only one of these girls can give you. What do you need ?
Step 2. Analyze your relationship with each of these girls
Think about the things they have in common and try to understand what makes them different. Consider the things that each of them has to offer and think about how they make you feel. If you want to make a choice, you have to fully understand the choices you are making.
- Ask yourself which girl you like to spend the most time chatting with. Ask yourself which one is the most fun and which makes you want to try new things. You may enjoy the company of one of them more.
- Ask yourself which girl you can trust the most. One of these girls might be a lot of fun, but you can't imagine yourself building a relationship with her. You have to ask yourself if you fancy a stable relationship or a more exciting one.
- Ask yourself if you can communicate better with any of these girls. Communication is an incredibly important thing in any relationship, and you need to choose the girl you can talk to in a more open way.
Step 3. Observe how you feel about yourself when you are in their company
You might feel stronger, more capable, and more deserving of being around one while the other demeans you and makes you feel like a stranger to yourself. Maybe one of them makes you feel happy and carefree while the other stresses you out. Observe the changes in your personality as you spend time with each of them. Ask yourself what aspects of your personality you want to nurture.
Step 4. Be honest with yourself
If you can't make up your mind on one of these girls, maybe you shouldn't be getting into a serious relationship with one of them. You don't have to force a serious relationship, of course, but it's important to understand why you have such a hard time making a choice.
Step 5. Look for other alternatives
Maybe none of these girls are looking for a serious relationship or maybe none of them are even interested in you! This doesn't mean that you have to run two hares at the same time, just that the situation may be simpler or stranger than you think. Try to chat individually with these two girls to better understand what you are looking for.
Don't be afraid to broaden your perspective. There are many ways to make a relationship work. The most important thing is that everyone is in agreement and that you don't hurt anyone
Part 2 of 3: make the decision
Step 1. Prepare a list
Draw a column for each girl and list the qualities of each. If you find any qualities that these two girls have in common, cross them off the list. Review the unique qualities of each and compare them with the qualities you prefer. You should choose the girl who has the most unique qualities that you like. Also consider doing the same for negative traits and choose the girl with the fewest flaws.
- Among the qualities, you might note that this girl is fun, that your conversations are exciting, that she knows how to listen to you, that she is trustworthy, intelligent, beautiful, that she gets along well with your friends, that you live in the same area, that she loves to travel and that she makes you smile.
- Among the flaws, you might note that she gets angry easily, that you have different moral values, that she is not your type, that she lives far from home, that your physical connection is dismal, or that you have a poor physical connection. 'she stresses you out.
Step 2. Listen to your heart
Remember that these lists are only tools. Don't make a decision based on numbers. Instead, use these numbers to better understand how you are feeling. One of these girls could be perfect on paper, that doesn't mean you feel in love with her in any way. If the numbers don't sound like what you are feeling, it's probably because they're wrong. Once you've noted all of the good and bad things, take some time to think about how you feel about each one. Let your heart guide you.
Step 3. Take your time, but don't wait too long
It is important to be sure of your decision. However, if you put these girls on hold for too long, you run the risk of losing them both. Try to make your decision as quickly as possible to clarify the situation. The situation will then become much simpler when you have chosen one of these girls (or when you have chosen not to choose any of them). You can then make peace with the girl you did not choose.
- The exact moment depends on the situation. If you see these two girls every day, it is urgent to make a decision. Are you ready to run into these two girls at the same time?
- Remember these girls are also human beings with emotions. It is not fair to make them wait just because you want to keep your chances, unless of course they are doing the same on their own and they are aware of the situation. Think about how you would like to be treated in this kind of situation.
Step 4. Choose a girl
If these two girls are equally amazing, you will never feel like you made the “right choice”, sooner or later you are going to have to make a decision if you want to keep one. Honesty is probably the hardest choice to make, but it is also extremely rewarding. Take your pick, tell the girls and make your life easier. Ask yourself which girl you most regret to see go.
Consider discussing it with your friends and family. If you can't make up your mind, you need outside advice from someone unrelated to two girls
Part 3 of 3: Breaking the news to the two girls
Step 1. Be direct
This means that you need to be honest and clear with the girl you chose as well as the girl you didn't choose. If you are not clear then you are going to create a lot of problems and then it would be better not to choose anything. Don't leave anything hanging. If you want to have a genuine relationship with one of these girls, you have to close the second door.
Consider writing down your thoughts beforehand or practicing saying what you are going to say to them with a friend. If you are not sure what to say, this may help
Step 2. Let go of the girl you didn't choose
It's important to tell this girl that you didn't choose her. You might have made your decision on paper, but it won't become effective until you talk to them. This is all the more important if the girl you chose knows the girl you didn't choose. You'll add weight to your proof of love (or commitment) if you can show her you've cut ties with the other girl.
- You might be tempted to confess your love to the girl you've chosen, but if she says no, you can still choose the second girl. However, you really have to ask yourself if you want to end up with your second choice. Better to be with someone you really love or to be single,
- By letting this girl down, you force yourself to face your feelings. In the heat of the moment, you might regret your choice and think that the girl you didn't choose is actually the right one. You might just indulge in spending a night with her and find you have to cut ties completely. Whatever the situation, it will help you keep the promises you made to the other girl.
Step 3. Announce the news to the girl you have chosen
Once you've broken the news to the girl you didn't choose, you can focus on relating with the one you like. Tell her exactly what you want from her and tell her that you only want her, of course, if you're willing to only engage with her.
Take it easy. If you had a hard time deciding between the two girls, you might need a little time to get used to the new situation. Don't expect to jump straight into a deep, serious relationship, just let things unfold naturally
Step 4. Stick to your choice
Take responsibility for your decision and don't waste time questioning it. If you don't keep your promises, neither of these two girls will trust you and the word will run! Don't go back and forth between these two girls and reverse your decision unless you are absolutely sure it's the right thing to do. Remember that actions speak louder than words.
- Think carefully about your decision and make sure you don't rush into it.
- Pick the girl you feel most comfortable with.
- Be prepared to live with your decision, if you choose one you probably won't have a chance to date the other if you made a bad choice. Think about it carefully.
- Don't choose the two girls. You will find yourself in an extremely complicated situation.
- If you are not satisfied with the methods explained above, choose the girl you have the most in common with.
- Don't be too hard on the girl you didn't choose. Talk to her and explain the situation to her. The worst thing to do is ignore her or ignore how she is feeling.
- If you have already chosen and believe you have chosen wrong, go back and right your mistakes. It's going to take time and effort, but you can make it happen.
- Not all girls are the same, some might get caught up in silly subterfuge, but others not.
- When you go to bed, think of these girls and try to remember their smile. Pick the girl you thought about before you fell asleep. If you can't remember, try again.
- You have to choose the girl who makes you feel your best for the long haul.
- Don't put pressure on yourself. These girls will be able to realize that you are worrying or putting pressure on yourself.
- Pick the girl you feel most comfortable with, because at the end of the day you don't want to end up with a girl who doesn't let you be yourself.
- There will always be one that you have a stronger bond with, there is always one.
- Don't let these girls know that you are watching them to discover their unique qualities! They will definitely act out if they know you are watching them. You want to know their "real" qualities.
- Don't think that everything will work out if you wait for things to happen. All you are going to win is lose both girls.
- You are unlikely to date both at the same time. If you try to date them both, you're going to lose them both. Don't waste two girls unnecessarily when you only need one.
- Do not deceive them! You could hurt them and ruin your reputation if you tried dating them both at the same time.
- It's hard to think about the feelings you might have for someone else when dating another person. It could ruin the relationship you have.
- If you tell her that you can't live without her, make sure it's sincere. Otherwise, they might laugh at you.