3 ways to deal with an unpleasant person

3 ways to deal with an unpleasant person
3 ways to deal with an unpleasant person
Anonim

In life, you often meet difficult and annoying people. To demonstrate maturity and self-control, it is important to understand how to behave with these people despite their unpleasant behavior. By controlling your emotions and the way you relate to these people, you will learn to master yourself and deal with difficult situations in a calm and peaceful manner.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Interact with this person

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Step 1. Identify what bothers you

Take the time to analyze what is bothering you about the person concerned. Is it what she says or the sound of her voice? Is it his attitude or something else? If you can figure out why this person is annoying you, you may be able to communicate with them more easily.

  • If, for example, she annoys you with her negative attitude, you can try to prepare for the dialogue by mentally saying to yourself something like, "I don't see things like Peter, that's okay. He has a negative personality, but it is due to events that have taken place in life. Just because he is pessimistic and sees things negatively, it does not mean that I should be like him. "
  • You can also look for a way to limit your interactions with this person. If you work in the same company, you will certainly need to hang out on a regular basis, but if it's a family member, you can avoid bumping into him and talking to him (or listening to him) by being late for family reunions. when you know it will be there, and by eclipsing you sooner.
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Step 2. Keep Calm

When you see someone who is really annoying you, you can quickly feel agitated, upset, or even nervous. There are a variety of tactics and strategies for staying calm, so you don't get agitated unnecessarily and don't react negatively. You can start by breathing deeply and slowly. You can also think of a mental scenario or memory that calms you down.

  • For example, you can imagine yourself taking a walk on a beach or in nature.
  • Breathe in slowly through your nose and then breathe out through your mouth. Repeat until you feel calm.
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Step 3. Choose a word to calm yourself down

Sometimes anxiety and restlessness can be alleviated by the recitation of mantras. Repeat a word such as "peace" in your mind until you feel it resonates with you and describes your mental state perfectly.

You can also choose a word such as "serenity" or "happiness". Repeat it in your head or write it down in a notebook

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Step 4. Manage your non-verbal reactions

Communication often speaks louder than words. Avoid adding tension and anger by being closed off and angry. Do not cross your arms or legs, avoid grimacing or staring at the ground, and never put your hands near anyone's face, nor invade their space.

Make sure you do your part of the job well so that the situation does not escalate, both verbally and physically

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Step 5. Practice talking to him in the mirror

Having to interact with annoying people can make you anxious. Practice talking to that person without sounding dry. If, for example, this person tends to interrupt you by cutting you off, practice continuing to speak without stopping. You can even practice with a friend. Also work on your facial expressions so you don't look harsh.

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Step 6. Be direct and discreet

Sometimes it is more effective to confront an annoying person directly than to try to ignore or avoid them. Train her aside, away from prying ears, and talk to her about the relationship you have. She may ignore the fact that she is upsetting you. Or maybe she realized it without realizing how much. Then keep this discussion to yourself.

You can start with something like, "Patrick, in the morning I sometimes need a little time to organize myself, could you give me time to settle down? Maybe you could wait an hour before you start chatting? I would like you to give me a little time before tackling topics that have nothing to do with work, it's starting to really annoy me. "

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Step 7. Set limits

The person who is annoying you may have a hard time understanding your limits. Maybe she's invading your personal space, maybe she's still trying to discuss everything, or she's telling you overly personal details of her life. Maybe even, she wants to know personal details of your life. Let her know that you want this situation to end and that you want to have a more professional or more cordial relationship.

You can say something like, “Sarah, I know you like to talk about your sex life, but could you do this with someone else? I don’t want to know that stuff”

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Step 8. Don't get into an argument

It is sometimes tempting to argue with an annoying person, especially when it is a combative person or Mr. Know-It-All. However, it is best to avoid going down this road. Instead, let it go, unless you've been lied to about something important or spread a lie about you. Choose your battles and don't get angry for trifles.

  • If someone is gossiping about you, take action and get back to the truth.
  • If anyone has a strong opinion about their favorite musician, drop it.
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Step 9. Practice silence

Know that you don't have to answer every sentence and every action. If you are overwhelmed or have nothing constructive to say, practice being quiet. It is likely that without any reaction from you, this person will change their behavior or look for someone else to talk to.

Respond when asked a question, but you don't have to respond to a simple comment or general statement

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Step 10. Show the example

It can be tempting to be mean or to get revenge by being nasty in turn. However, you may just end up making that person look even more obnoxious than before. In order for your relationship to become more peaceful, you must start by setting an example. Try to be kind, punctual, diligent and respectful at all times, regardless of the behavior of the person in front of you.

  • If you are asked for a favor and you can do it, do it.
  • Don't ignore someone who says hello to you.
  • Don't be slanderous, don't gossip this person.

Method 2 of 3: Limit interactions

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Step 1. Avoid this person as much as possible

Sometimes the best way to avoid getting upset is to get away from the person who is annoying you. Don't take the same route to class, eat lunch at the same time, or reorient your desk so you don't face your annoying colleague in the open space. If you work together with the person you want to avoid, it can cause difficulty. In that case, maybe you can use more emails and phone calls rather than seeing yourself in person.

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Step 2. Close the door

Even if it is impossible to change a person, you can always change their environment. Maybe the person who pisses you off lives with you, or maybe it's a co-worker. If you have your own bedroom or office, you can simply close the door when you need to be a little lonely or when you need to concentrate. Exercise your right to privacy as often as possible and as necessary.

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Step 3. Make yourself unavailable

Another way to control and limit your interactions is to make yourself unavailable, so that you cannot be approached. Put on your headphones, make a phone call or put your bag on the empty seat next to you to prevent people from sitting down.

If this is the last available seat, don't be cruel, release it, but make it clear that you don't want to be disturbed

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Step 4. Get help from a friend

Get help from a friend who knows your situation. While it's best to avoid gossip, if the person in question is being really rude, talk to a friend or let them know when you need them to give you an excuse to walk away. You don't have to seem like you want to walk away in an obvious way, because you would look unpleasant too, especially if the person in question wasn't intending to annoy you.

For example, you can pat your friend on the shoulder or wink at him

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Step 5. Take a step back

Sometimes the best way to calm down is to go for a walk. If someone in particular is annoying you and you're about to collapse, step aside, take a walk, take a break, or use the bathroom. In most cases, you will be calmer and less likely to react negatively after taking a step back.

If, for example, a coworker keeps bragging about his family fortune when you are struggling financially, apologize and take a walk to calm down

Method 3 of 3: Control your dissatisfaction

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Step 1. Talk to a close friend

Talk to a friend who doesn't know the person in question. Sometimes you just need to empty your bag. Rather than getting mad at an unpleasant person, which might not help matters, talk to a loved one. While it may be tempting to speak ill of this person to other colleagues or acquaintances that they also know, it is best to refrain from doing so to avoid creating a conflict.

  • You can call your partner or mom and ask if she has a few minutes for you to let go of your negative thoughts.
  • You can ask him for advice or just ask him to listen to you.
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Step 2. Put their behavior in perspective

Remember that this person may not be annoying you on purpose. Maybe it's just part of her personality. Maybe some of the things you do are annoying to others, so try not to be too harsh so as not to offend or upset the person in question. If the situation escalates or you start to get angry, walk away before an argument breaks out.

  • Think about times in the past when you were found to be disagreeable or annoying. If you were yelled at in anger, it probably didn't help you fix the situation. It probably even got worse.
  • Remember that what bothers you about this person may not displease others. The feeling of discomfort you have with her comes from you, not from her.
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Step 3. Think about the big picture

Very often, what you find annoying at the moment will not matter to you in a week or even an hour. If you start to get upset because someone is making noise, bothering you, or harassing you, ask yourself if it will still matter later.

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Step 4. Use humor

Laughter is the best medicine, in this case as in others. If you feel like you're starting to get annoyed, take the time to laugh a bit. Watch a funny video or pictures on the internet or call a friend you find hilarious. This way you will be in a better mood and it will be easier for you to forget what is upsetting you.

When the emotions you are feeling are strong, distractions can help. Give yourself time to think for a moment about something that makes you in a good mood, then come back to reality more lightly

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Step 5. Report his behavior to whom it concerns

The person who is disagreeable to you may be doing it on purpose and their behavior may be similar to harassment. If, for example, you are regularly the butt of jokes that prevent you from working properly or living in peace, that becomes unacceptable. If you are insulted, or contacted regularly outside working hours, this should not be tolerated either. Talk to the right person, whether it's your boss, your teacher, or someone else.

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