There are many reasons that can make a woman curious about having a relationship with two boyfriends at the same time. She may be polyamorous (a sexual preference that involves loving several people at the same time) and may wish to have an open relationship with more than one partner. Additionally, a woman may be looking for a non-exclusive relationship that allows her to know what a romantic relationship is like without seriously committing to it. On the other hand, she may be trying to keep two relationships in secret. If the latter option is your case, know that it can lead to the destruction of both relationships, making it impossible to have a future with one of the two men. There are some very good arguments for dating more than one person. That said, be aware that having two relationships at the same time when each of your partners believes you only have one boyfriend puts you in a much darker moral position.
Part 1 of 4: Dating two people on a non-exclusive basis
Step 1. Experience it through non-exclusive dating
Dating two or more men can have several potential benefits for you and your partners.
- Interacting with multiple people simultaneously can help you find your soul mate faster.
- Having two boyfriends allows you to compare and analyze the personalities of each of them. There are important lessons you can learn about your personality and preferences for this.
- You will improve your ability to make a success on a first date, thus increasing your self-confidence. The more you learn about dating, the more you can avoid getting nervous and even take an analytical approach to whether your partner is the right person.
Step 2. Tell them that you are not looking for an exclusive relationship
At least not now. Honesty allows you to gauge your level of compatibility. One of the positive aspects of this type of relationship is that it stimulates the competitive instinct of your partners.
Step 3. Take your time
Don't get into a relationship that will make you regret it. Having non-exclusive relationships gives you a better chance of knowing your preferences, priorities, and increases your ability to make better decisions when you decide it's time to make a more serious commitment.
Part 2 of 4: Maintain a relationship with two men
Step 1. Determine your motivations
Do you consider it a “betrayal” to have two lovers? If so, you recognize that there will be constant moral pressure. On the other hand, by believing that you are polyamorous, you may be looking for relationships that are more appropriate to your personal identity.
Step 2. Decide if they are going to know each other
In some cases, you and your partners will find the polyamorous relationship satisfactory. Even if they are not interested in a relationship with more than one person, they may be drawn to your honesty by saying that you are not ready to have a relationship with only one partner.
Step 3. Establish your expectations for both relationships
Do your lovers meet different needs? How are you going to organize your time and your mood?
- Establish a schedule. When are you going to meet one of them and what will you do?
- If you keep your relationships a secret, how will you make sure that one partner doesn't know about the other?
- Think about how the other relationship can be affected by this situation. Will your family and friends approve of this? Who are you going to talk to about it? How do you deal with the possibility that one of your partners is seen as your boyfriend for a certain group of people (like your friends, for example), while for your family, the second is your spouse?
Part 3 of 4: manage both relationships
Step 1. Find a strategy to maintain each relationship
The option of establishing a schedule as mentioned above, will require constant maintenance if you want your partners to be happy. This is a fundamental factor, whether it is open or secret relationships.
- Think about how you will spend the time you need to pay attention to each partner and their needs. This task requires knowing how to manage time and not being confused with the details of each relationship.
- It can be helpful to compartmentalize each connection so as not to confuse aspects of each boyfriend. One of them, for example, may be your jogging and tennis partner, while the other is the one you study with or have conversations with at the cafe.
Step 2. Find a plan if they accidentally meet
What will you do if you meet one of them while spending time with the other? If your liaisons are open it's easier to get around, but if they're kept secret you need to have a plan B.
- There is a way to cover up the nature of the affair by treating lovers as just friends. However, you need to consider how they will react to your behavior. Will they be confused or irritated by your sudden lack of affection?
- It can lead to building a complex web of lies and escapes, with you right in the middle. It is important to think quickly about what you are going to say. In addition, your moral discomfort will worsen.
Step 3. Decide how you are going to handle the exits
Which lover will accompany you to social events, such as company parties, weddings and other parties? The context in which you know each of them can help you answer the following questions naturally, but sometimes you will need to make a choice.
- If you're not ready for a group of relatives or friends to consider one of your partners as your official boyfriend, you might be better off going out on your own.
- Think about your circle of connections. Will choosing a lover to attend an event require you to bring them to all your outings in the future? Will there be problems if people from the same social circle see you with two different men?
Step 4. Decide how you will use your social media profiles
Even if you don't mention either of the two dating on the internet, the chance of finding yourself linked to one of your lovers through your friends' profiles will be great. If one partner knows the other, there will be fewer problems, but you should still be aware that there may be jealousy if one of them considers that you are spending more time with the partner. 'other. If your attendance is exclusive, the situation will be much more complicated and you will have to give them explanations.
- Be prepared for the possibility that one of them will share the new relationship on their social media account. If they don't see themselves as sharing time and affection with you, how do they cope with this problem?
- Consider strengthening your account's privacy protections by preventing third-party logins from accessing information posted by friends in various circles of acquaintances.
Step 5. Take time for yourself
A serious relationship is likely to occupy all of your time. Two relationships mean you don't have time for anything, especially if each partner thinks you are loyal to them. Think about what activities you find most relaxing and set aside a little time each day or week to do them.
Part 4 of 4: protect yourself and your lovers
Step 1. Protect yourself well during sex
Even if you only have sex with one of your lovers, you should still protect yourself, because in the heat of the moment the temptation can be stronger than your intentions.
- Remember that not all contraceptives prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STIs). The least you can do is keep yourself and your lovers healthy and free from infection. You should always use condoms.
- To make sure you're in good health, consider getting tested regularly.
Step 2. Know when to talk
Never put the physical health of your partners at risk. If you find out that you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease, you should let both of you know, even if it means telling them you have another boyfriend.
Step 3. Recognize that this secret can also harm your mental health
The human brain is programmed to speak the truth. Secrets, especially those we consider negative, can interfere with the part of the brain responsible for sharing information. To support this burden, the brain releases stress hormones that impact memory, the gastrointestinal tract, blood pressure, and metabolism.
- Think about your values, what you believe in, and your self-image. How would you describe your personal moral code? By answering this question, you will be better able to make decisions about your relationship with more than one person.
- Remember the golden rule and the consequences that come with it: Treat others as you would like to be treated and never do anything you wouldn't want them to do to you. These axioms, which can be found in both Western and Eastern ethical traditions, are good guiding principles in making decisions that you will not regret.