How to get rid of an obsessed ex girlfriend

How to get rid of an obsessed ex girlfriend
How to get rid of an obsessed ex girlfriend

You've finally broken up with your girlfriend and are ready to move on. The only concern is that she is not ready to let go! Having to deal with your obsessed ex-girlfriend can be pretty scary. However, you should not allow her to come back into your life, no matter what she is capable of doing. Do you want her to leave you alone? Realize that you will need to learn to act with caution.


Part 1 of 3: set limits

Be a Better Girlfriend Step 10

Step 1. Make it clear to her that your relationship is over

It is essential to make it clear to her that you no longer want the relationship. You don't have to explain yourself. She won't be able to think rationally if she's really obsessed with you. In fact, any explanations you give her will only be proof that you continue to care about her. Just tell him you've broken up. Don't send mixed signals either. For example, if you say something to her like "I will continue to love you" when you told her earlier that you broke up with her, you will only fuel her obsession.

  • Instead, plan to say something like, "Remember we're not together anymore." I would like you to go on with your life and let me do the same. "
  • Say what you have to say and go. The longer you stay with her, the more she will try to change your mind.
  • She may be upset to the point of even crying. Make an effort to resist the urge to try to comfort her, because she will see that she can draw your attention with tears and will use this strategy all the time.
  • Explain to her that she deserves to be with someone who truly loves her. You can even encourage him to find the person who can meet his needs better than you.
Convince Yourself That You're Happy Being Alone Step 17

Step 2. Decide which behaviors are acceptable

An ex-obsessive will try to use all possible tricks to get your attention. She might call at any time of the night, unexpectedly come to your house, send indecent photos, or even use the "no contact" rule against you, which could make you more vulnerable to give in. Make a list of anything you wouldn't be willing to accept. So whenever she does one of the things on the list, just ignore her. Be sure to tell him that you won't give in.

  • For example, if you think she shouldn't come to your place, the next time she does, talk to her like this: "We are no longer a couple and for that reason you shouldn't. never come to my house again. If you do, I won't answer you and if you insist, I will have to call the police. "
  • Never break your own rules. Realize that if you are not consistent, she will continue to do what bothers you.
Be Single and Happy Step 12

Step 3. Don't let your emotions show

She may be trying to use your feelings against you. In other words, she may try to make you regret or make you feel guilty for leaving her. But, you should not let her control your mind. From this perspective, try to keep in mind that you are not responsible for the emotions she shows you to coax you. Refuse to admit his attempts to make you guilty so that you always stay together. If you have the option to remove yourself from the situation, do so. Otherwise, say something like, "I won't talk to you until you calm down."

  • Obsessed people want to be in control. If you don't give in to her attempts at emotional manipulation, she will eventually find someone else to wield her power.
  • She will do whatever she can to make you feel bad. However, you have to stay strong. You might think that you are being gallant in trying to comfort her, but on the contrary, it will encourage her to try to play with your emotions again.
Be a Gentleman Step 26

Step 4. Be kind

If she can't get your attention in any way, she'll try to get it by trying to push you over the edge. She might be sending you harassing messages or verbally attacking you face to face, just to piss you off. However, you should try to keep your cool. While it may seem counterproductive to be cordial with her to drive her away, know that you reward her insults by giving her your attention if you respond to her attacks by attacking back. Let her know that nothing she can do is going to upset you.

  • Say, “I understand that you're feeling upset, but I'm not going to fight back in any way. "
  • Don't be too nice either. Instead, consider responding kindly to their first post and ignoring the others.

Part 2 of 3: Getting away from your ex-girlfriend

Deal With Party Crashers Step 1

Step 1. Try to change your daily routine

If she is used to seeing you all the time, it will be more difficult for her to forget you. To avoid this, try changing certain things in your routine to reduce the risk of her seeing you. For example, if you know she's going to a particular supermarket, shop elsewhere. Try going to a new bar on the weekend if you think she could go to the one you usually went to when you were together.

However, you should be careful that it does not show up unexpectedly in the new place you have decided to go. She may be stalking you

Become Sociable Step 2

Step 2. Talk to your friends

In case you have any friends in common, let them know that you are trying to distance yourself from her. Don't say anything bad about her, but make sure they understand that you don't want to be around her. This will prevent them from inviting you both to the same event. With that in mind, you might say something to them like, “Things between us are a little tense at the moment. I think we better stay on our own. Please don't invite us both to the same place. If they don't respect your request, it might be better to make new friends.

  • Never ask your friends to choose sides. It will only make things worse, and draw them into your drama.
  • Never say anything derogatory about your ex to your mutual friends, because most likely she will, which will give her more substance to attack you the next time she sees you.
  • Cut off contact with any friends your ex might try to use as spies.
Let Go of a Failed Relationship Step 7

Step 3. Block it

More specifically, don't let her contact you by phone or social media. If she tries to call you through another number, block that too. The method of blocking someone varies depending on the make and model of the phone you are using and the social network it is on. Be meticulous. In other words, make an effort to block her on whatever platforms she might use to try to contact you.

  • If you don't know how to block a number on your phone, you might want to read this article.
  • To block someone on Facebook, read this article.
Become an Expat Step 25

Step 4. Move out

If it won't leave you alone for a long time, consider taking extreme measures. With that in mind, you might start a new life in a new place where she couldn't find you. Also, keep this information secret. In other words, do not reveal your new address to any of your mutual friends. Your ex's constant and unwanted attention can be overwhelming. You may be happier if you just go somewhere else.

If you want to keep in touch with your friends, let them know why you want to move. However, you need to make sure that you are completely sure that they won't tell your ex before you tell them where you are going

Part 3 of 3: protect yourself

Deal With Stalkers Step 18

Step 1. Record everything she does

If you are ultimately to involve the police, you must have a record that proves that they are obsessively behaving. So always keep the proof of his harassment in a notebook. If you have the option to do so, take screenshots of the offensive text messages she sends you. If possible, record videos of her refusal to leave your home after showing up uninvited. Obtain a statement from people who may have witnessed his actions. You will need all the evidence you can get.

If she is vindictive, she might try to make false accusations against you for things like sexual assault or bodily harm. It will be easier for you to clear your name if you have hard evidence of his unstable behavior without retaliation from you

Deal With Party Crashers Step 12

Step 2. Protect your home

Her unstable state of mind may lead her to believe that she has the right to enter or vandalize your home. Do not make it easy for him to enter. With this in mind, try to always keep the doors and windows in your home locked when you are not around. If she has the keys, change the locks. You can even install a motion detector to scare it off.

If you can afford it, consider installing a more sophisticated security system that can set off an alarm and notify the police when an intruder enters your home

Get a Job Fast Step 1

Step 3. Stay Prepared

If your ex-girlfriend has threatened you with physical violence and you think she might carry it out, it might be a good idea to carry a “gun” to protect yourself. For example, a pepper spray in the shape of a keychain would be a good non-lethal option to ward off anyone who tries to attack you. You could buy one on the Internet. Keep it on all the time, especially if you are in a vulnerable position.

  • The use of self-defense pepper spray is authorized on French territory for any adult unless they have a legitimate or professional reason.
  • Make sure you learn how to use pepper spray correctly.
Get a Court Order Step 14

Step 4. Obtain a protection order

This order will legally require him to stay a certain distance from you. To obtain one, you will need to present proof of his harassment. Bring to the police any documents that may be able to confirm his behavior. However, you should make sure to gather all possible evidence before attempting to obtain a protection order.

  • Be aware that the first protection order will expire, but if you think it still poses a threat to your safety, you can apply for a permanent order.
  • Remember that some people may not comply with the order. So stay on your guard just in case.


  • In case you feel like you are dating someone who is obsessed with you, end the relationship as soon as possible.
  • Keep in touch with good friends so they can remind you of your reasons for leaving her so you won't be tempted to reconnect with her.
  • Try to detach yourself. The more you fight against an obsessive person, the more obsessive they will become.
  • She may be suffering from an emotional codependency problem. If so, know that all of these manipulative tactics aren't meant to be used to hurt you physically, but at the same time, try to stay in your place and remember your motives. Encourage her to seek professional help and advice.


  • Do not let yourself be fooled. All emotional crises are only meant to control you.
  • Completely eliminate the obsessed people from your life. Do not visit them on vacation or any other special occasion.
  • Never try to appease an obsessed person because they might interpret your submission as weakness.
  • Never make a date with an ex-obsessive.

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