There are many reasons that could end a friendship. Sometimes people can't get over disagreements. Other times, they move in different directions. You might find yourself in situations where, despite your best efforts, some of your friends just aren't willing or able to continue to be your friends. These are sad times, but they happen to everyone. Remember that you have the strength to survive it and move on.
Part 1 of 3: let go of the other
Step 1. Take some time to grieve
Losing a friend can be very painful. In the short term, you can pretend nothing has happened, but in the long term, it will keep you from moving on. Recognize that you have lost an important person and that you have the right to be sad.
- Don't be ashamed to cry. Crying can help ease your emotions.
- Listen to sad music or watch a sad movie if that helps. It reinforces the fact that you are not the only one feeling how you feel while giving yourself hope for better days.
Step 2. Delete your correspondence
Don't hang on to your texts or emails, as you might be tempted to reread them. You will only prolong your loneliness and pain at the end of the friendship by returning to those times.
You might have copies saved on a USB stick, in which case give it to a family member or friend, as you might come to a point where the memories of your lost friendship are no longer painful
Step 3. Remove your social media friendships
You'll just rehash the past instead of moving forward if you see what your friend is doing on social media. You'll heal faster and move on more easily if you aren't constantly exposed to his Facebook posts.
Step 4. Store the photos
You don't necessarily have to throw them away, but you could. Get rid of anything that may remind you of your friend, such as souvenirs and gifts.
Step 5. Write down how you feel
A great way to deal with your emotions is to write them down. You might have questions about what went wrong or about the anger you are feeling. You can bring out all of his emotions by writing a letter to your friend that you won't send him. When you're done, you can tear it up or put it away in a drawer. The purpose of this letter is simply to process how you are feeling.
Step 6. Don't blame yourself for what's going on
Avoid seeing the loss of that relationship as a reflection of who you are. There are many reasons that can end a friendship. Even if you think you have your share of responsibility for the end of your friendship, know that all relationships come and go together. You cannot control others.
Part 2 of 3: Asking for support
Step 1. See a therapist
If you're really struggling to move on, it might help to deal with your emotions in a professional setting. A certified therapist could listen to your perspective on what went wrong with your friendship and help you learn from your mistakes.
Step 2. Call a family member
When you have a problem with a friend, sometimes you might turn to your family for a safe solution. If you can, try calling someone who has experienced a similar end of friendship in the past. You may find great comfort in a parent or family member who has had a similar experience.
Step 3. Consult with friends who are not friends with this person
Ask for support from people who are not friends with the friend you just lost. They can listen to you as you explain your feelings to them while giving you an objective perspective on the situation. Tell them how much you appreciate their support. Remember that even if you have lost a friend, you still have others.
Step 4. Be careful with your mutual friends
Your mutual friends might not be the best people to chat with if you really need to deal with that lost relationship. This could put them in an awkward position. You also run the risk of driving even more people away if you make them feel like you're asking them to choose sides. That being said, you can still continue to see them for their company. They can be a great way to remind you that you still have friends.
- Avoid talking about that friend who doesn't want to see you anymore.
- Try to focus on the things you have in common with your current friends.
Step 5. Don't speak badly about your lost friend
You might feel upset when one of your friends tells you that they don't want to see you anymore. Avoid succumbing to the temptation to speak ill of this person or to tarnish their reputation in any way. When these emotions subside, the two of you might find that you can save your friendship. You might even make your friendship stronger after an argument of this strength. You don't want to make it worse or lessen your chances of rekindling your friendship because you said bad things behind her back.
Part 3 of 3: move on
Step 1. Know that you are going to make new friends
Many people come into and stay in your life. Your friendship may have reached its expiration date. See it as a vacant space in your life that you can fill with a new, stronger friendship.
Step 2. Be grateful
When a friendship ends, it can be easy to focus on the negative things. Think about the things in your life that make you grateful. Make a list of the people who are close to you, the skills you are proud of, the groups you are involved in, and the activities you enjoy doing. Keep this list in your wallet or purse, or hang it above your desk to have a look at when you feel more lonely.
Step 3. Leave your home
It will be much more difficult for you to move on if you sit at home doing nothing and rehashing your lost friendship. If you find yourself spending too much time feeling sad in your home, go outside. Go for a run or go to the gym. Go to a place where you can be surrounded by other people such as a cafe, library, or concert.
Step 4. Take classes
You can be entertained and make new friends by finding a new hobby. Sign up for a course that interests you to stay busy. A yoga or meditation class can be especially helpful in these difficult times. You might also consider cooking, dancing, or musical instrument lessons.
Step 5. Do what you love
Don't let your lost friendships keep you from doing what you love. Make sure you take some extra time to do what you love and be happy. Read, play video games, hang out with your other friends or play an instrument. Keep busy.
Step 6. Be patient
It is going to take a while for you to heal from a lost friendship. While you may experience moments of acute loneliness and depression, know that these feelings don't last forever and as long as you take care of yourself, you will find the strength to go through them.