It is one of the worst emotional pains a human being can experience. You spent every second together. You were best friends, you could tell him anything and you even thought he was the only one, but sooner or later he acted differently. He put an end to all this. It hurts, but you have a chance to get over it. Learn how to deal effectively with being dumped here and get back to your life afterwards.
Part 1 of 3: dealing with the emotional merry-go-round
Step 1. Anticipate and overcome the desire to fix anything
After being abandoned, you may want more of the person. You might beg your boyfriend not to leave you or use a variety of embarrassing strategies to keep him from breaking up. Studies have shown that emotional suffering can resemble physical pain. You have to do almost everything to prevent this. This is a common reaction that is seen after sudden rupture. Therefore, you need to put in place some measures to prevent any dramatic actions for you.
- Avoid your boyfriend at all costs until you fully recover from the situation. Be careful not to show up at his door and ask him questions about his reasons.
- If you are required to do so, delete their number and email address from your directory. Of course, you might still have that in mind, but just deleting their contact can help turn the page. Plus, the trouble you will have browsing your phonebook and not seeing his contact might just be what you need to remember that you don't have to reconnect with him.
Step 2. Take the trouble to cry
When someone breaks your heart and you didn't see it coming, you are bound to have various kinds of feelings. You might want to let go of her emotions. You might also tell yourself He doesn't deserve my tears. Since you love her with all your heart, you should at least give yourself the opportunity to grieve the relationship well. There are seven stages you can expect to go through as you grieve.
- Challenging: You have a burning desire to figure out what happened or what was wrong. You can try looking to meet your ex. You can discuss it with your relatives and friends. You also even have the opportunity to connect with real strangers in order to have more insight into what happened.
- Rejection: You find it hard to admit the fact that your relationship has really ended. You can continue to hope that your love can be saved. You might even refuse to believe in anything else.
- Negotiation: you come up with any solution, as long as the two of you are together again. You promise to change and be the perfect girlfriend. You even try to take responsibility for the whole relationship.
- Relapse: You try to convince your ex to give the relationship another chance, just to keep you from breaking up again. After all, you end up convinced that the relationship cannot be saved.
- Anger: This stage occurs when you have let go of some of your fears about being alone and now you can recognize that you deserve better than you have. You might get mad at yourself, your ex, or the circumstances.
- Initial Approval: At this point, you are about to go your own way because you have no choice. You start to see that you just aren't right for each other. Eventually, you stop making the effort to make things right.
- Channeled Hope: As you come to terms with the circumstances, you begin by assessing the possibility that you might be feeling good beyond the breakup. You begin to feel a certain degree of hope that your future, whatever that entails, will be better.
Step 3. Set a deadline for yourself
When a relationship is over, you often feel like you're resigned to getting on with your life. You could sink into grief. Eat your slices of junk foods. Watch your favorite TV shows and movies again. Obviously, you have to cry, but recognize that you don't have to be happy.
Set a specific deadline. It could be one, two weeks, or one month (depending on the sincerity and length of the relationship). Tell yourself that after the deadline you won't have to sit there wasting your days in your misery. Make a wise decision so that you can now live a lonely and meaningful life
Step 4. Get rid of personal memories
As you try to successfully mourn your relationship, it's best that you temporarily purge your life of any memories of your failed relationship. In fact, keeping the belongings shows you were hoping he would come back someday. Throw them away in order to move on in your life.
Just getting rid of these items doesn't mean you have to throw them away. Store gifts, photos, love letters and the like in a box and put them in an attic or warehouse. Later, when you are done grieving and recovering from the loss of your relationship, you can now decide what to do with them
Part 2 of 3: Boost your self-esteem
Step 1. Acknowledge all of your positive traits
There are few situations that damage your ego, given that you have been dumped. From the moment your boyfriend tells you that it's all over between you, you started questioning yourself in order to identify everything that had gone wrong. To counter this, now is the time for you to recognize all the wonderful things that you have to offer.
- Take a sheet and a pen and list some good qualities. If you're having trouble finding some, you can ask a loved one or friend to give you some. You can also find a list of positive characters online by searching the Internet.
- When you have your positive traits at hand, start keeping a journal that outlines specific situations in which you have exhibited these positive traits in your life. For example, if you list caring as one of the positive traits, you might write down in your journal when you had a great art vacation indoors because your best friend broke a leg. and couldn't get out.
Step 2. Go out on your own
Getting to know your personality better can boost your self-esteem. It also plays a dual role in helping you recognize the qualities you need to value in a friend. Treating yourself as kindly as you would like a lover to treat you will help you regain your self-confidence and meet better suitors later.
- Reserve a table in a chic restaurant. Put on your thirty-one and treat yourself to a lavish banquet.
- Treat yourself to spa visits. Get a facial, massage, pedicure or manicure.
- Get yourself a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers, just in case.
- Go watch that movie you crave.
- Take a new cooking, dance or sports class.
Step 3. Make yourself pretty
A great way to maintain your self-esteem after being dumped is to showcase your best profile to the world. Many people do this to show their ex that they are missing out on something. However, you will need to do this for yourself in order to remember that you are an attractive and worthy person, with or without a partner.
Plus, dressing well and looking beautiful will make you feel better
Step 4. Be convinced that there is much better for you
Getting into a new relationship automatically may not be a good idea. However, it can be quite normal for you to go out at times. What matters is that you believe there are better days on the horizon for you, because there are!
Part 3 of 3: get better
Step 1. Keep up
During this state of transition in your life, it is crucial that you take good care of yourself. Spend time with good, supportive friends. Listen to soft music while you take a hot bubble bath. Spend a quiet evening shopping at your favorite stores. Squat at home with an interesting book and some healthy snacks.
It doesn't matter what you do. Just engage in activities and be with the people who support you rather than being with those who take advantage of you. Be flexible with yourself and pursue your favorite hobbies
Step 2. Eat well
You might think that an ice cornea will soothe your sorrows. Complacency here or there can do the trick, but overdoing it can make you feel guilty later. Make a commitment to avoid self-destructive behaviors and eat healthy.
Fuel up with real, whole foods like fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains while avoiding sugary, salty, and processed foods. Healthy eating can improve your mood
Step 3. Be active
In a way, sport can be one of the best forms of therapy. You start a session looking grim and dejected, then thirty minutes later you are bursting with enthusiasm and energy. Take advantage of natural chemicals, endorphins, and incorporate a program of regular physical activity into your day.
Double the benefits by asking a friend to keep you company when you exercise or take a fitness class. Being around those in a good mood can also affect you and make you feel better
Step 4. Make the effort to forgive
If you find that despite the steps you have taken to move forward, you find yourself recalling old memories, then you should be sorry. Having resentment or resentment towards your boyfriend can make it difficult for you to fully recover after your boyfriend dumps you.
- You can forgive your ex by trying to figure out their reasoning. Have you been in a bind in the past and you don't know how to get out of it? Have you ever dealt with a situation harshly and ended up hurting someone? This doesn't mean that what happened to you was good, but at least allowing yourself to empathize with your ex can help move the page emotionally.
- Another way is to write a letter. You could start by describing the separation from your perspective. Then you can continue to mention the feelings, thoughts, and reactions you have about being dumped. Do not hesitate to express your anger or dissatisfaction in the letter. Say whatever is on your mind. Finally, end the letter by telling your ex that you have decided to forgive him and move on (that doesn't mean you forgot everything!). Then you can burn the letter or shred it into pieces.