How to bring back the love of your life (with pictures)

How to bring back the love of your life (with pictures)
How to bring back the love of your life (with pictures)
Anonim

Romantic relationships can end for a lot of reasons. Sometimes the break is final and sometimes not. View this breakup as an invitation to take a step back and analyze what went wrong in this relationship and start over, if you think it hasn't ended for good.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: fix what didn't work

Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 1

Step 1. Remember

Romantic relationships rarely end overnight and without warning, even if you didn't realize it by then. Try to remember everything your ex may have said or done to you that may have indicated that he (or she) is not happy. It could be the following things.

  • The person may have complained that you were never there or that you did not pay enough attention to them.
  • She doubted you when you mentioned where you were or why you were doing this.
  • She told you that she can never isolate herself (a healthy romantic relationship should give everyone enough room to breathe and be alone from time to time).
  • She told you that she wanted something that you didn't give her.
  • She complained that you never help out around the house.
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 2

Step 2. Don't get angry

Crying is a natural way to overcome difficult emotions, but you should stay calm even if you are angry. You are not going to make someone come back to you by yelling at that person. Here are some tips to try if you're having trouble staying calm.

  • Take a break. You can simply tell the person that you are feeling overwhelmed by your emotions and need a break to calm down and say calmly what you have on your mind.
  • Think about it with a clear head. Give yourself 24 hours to figure out exactly what you're going to say to your ex, before entering into a discussion with him or her. Consider their reactions as well as your own if the person has said similar things to you.
  • Breathe deeply and calmly or visualize yourself in a place that calms you down.
  • Write a letter (or an email) then wait a day before sending it. Putting your thoughts down on paper can be very helpful because you have time to think about what you want to say before the person knows it. You cannot inadvertently change your words or forget what you wanted to say at the last moment.
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 3

Step 3. Ask questions

Ask the person if you don't know what you did wrong and if you have no idea. Ask your partner what you can do to improve the situation, even if you know what upset him. Here are a few examples.

  • "Can you help me understand why you are angry?" "
  • “What can I do to strengthen our romantic relationship? "
  • "Is there something you want me to do more often?" "
  • "What's really bothering you about my behavior?" "
  • "Is there something that I don't do that you might need?" "
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 4

Step 4. Apologize and admit your share of responsibility

Tell your ex that you are really sorry about what happened, if you know what caused you to break up. Apologize in any case, even if you are not sure what went wrong. Take full ownership of your mistakes and explain to the person why you haven't tried to correct them in the past. You could say the following things.

  • "I'm sorry, but I didn't notice you needed such a thing."
  • “I don't know why you left me, but I'm so sorry for what I did. Can you help me find out what it was so I can fix it? "
  • "I know I really went into a mess behaving like I did, but losing you has helped me see that you mean more to me than anyone else." other. I am sorry to have betrayed your trust and I will try not to do so again in the future”.
  • "I know I didn't do as well as you asked me to, but I didn't realize it was so important to you and I'm so sorry I didn't get it." I promise to make it my priority now”.
  • “I know I'm away a lot at the moment and I hate it, but this is only a temporary problem and when I'm done everything will be much better for both of us. It's as hard on me as it is on you and I'm so sorry if I can't help it. Is there anything I can do to help you get through this difficult time with me? "
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 5

Step 5. Change what you have been complained about

After apologizing, it's important to make amends, and not just in words. Now is the time to fix the problem, whichever one you remember and wonder about. Asking more questions is always a good way to clarify the problem, if you still don't understand exactly what you should be doing. Here are a few examples.

  • If the person complained that you weren't there enough, find more time for your relationship. Try to go out on a date more often or to cook dinner together at your house at least once a week (or more often). Ditch other activities to show the other that you care about your partner and your romantic relationship first.
  • If the person has told you that they don't feel appreciated enough, try to thank them (sincerely) more often and try to give them a helping hand to make their life easier.
  • If you've cheated on the person, make sure they don't have a reason to constantly ask you questions. You should show her that she can trust you. Get home on time and let her talk to that loved one you were meant to be with to prove your good faith to her.
  • If the person complained that you had no leisure, do something, go out and find yourself some occupations! You can also take courses and learn skills (whether lucrative or not).
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 6

Step 6. Try to find a compromise

This is especially very effective if the two of you had a tendency to argue a lot, which led to the breakup. Discuss your problems (a list can help you) then agree to a compromise where you each make equal sacrifices for the good health of your romantic relationship.

  • Remember to take into account that some things may mean more to one person than to another. You should compensate for this depending on how important it is to you or how difficult it may be for you.

    If, for example, being on time is really important to one of you and the other often arrives late, a good compromise might be for one of you to help the other (the one who is never on time) to be ready on time when you need to get somewhere

Part 2 of 3: Building a New Romantic Relationship

Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 7

Step 1. Listen

Make sure that you are present and focused on your partner and that they know that you are listening well, when they speak to you. Here are some ways to do it.

  • Rest whatever you are reading or doing, or turn off the TV.
  • Do not fiddle with anything, look at your watch, or grind your nails.
  • Look at your partner when he is talking.
  • Repeat what he or she said. Start by saying that you understood that it was such and such a thing and summarize what you have just been told. If the partner agrees with your summary, continue. If not, ask him to be more explicit until you are sure you understand what he said.
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 8

Step 2. Pay attention to the partner's body language and look for the presence of stifled emotions

Some signs indicating that the meaning of words goes beyond words may be as follows.

  • The person is tense when sitting or standing (folds his arms, a good sign of anger or impatience).
  • Any facial expression that is not neutral (this is about being in tune with their enthusiasm if so and showing compassion if the person is sad).
  • Touching their neck, ears, and face is a sign of insecurity, which likely means the person is uncomfortable about what they are trying to tell you.
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 9

Step 3. Don't get defensive or jump to conclusions

You tend to jump to conclusions when you are angry, and that can often mean that you hear something (often a criticism of you) that your partner isn't trying to tell you. If he's trying to explain something you are doing that he doesn't like, you should remember that it's in your best interest to understand what you're being told and respond to it.

Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 10

Step 4. Communicate

Talk about whatever is bothering you. Ask your partner if you have the impression that they are hiding something from you. Do not prevent communication from taking place between you. It is important to be honest, but kind. Here are some tips to facilitate your exchanges.

  • Avoid saying "you always do this" or "you never listen". This is probably wrong and it will undoubtedly put your partner on the defensive.
  • Start your sentences with "I have the impression that …". What you feel is always true, and it's a great way to defuse the other, because you're not complaining about their eventual behavior.

    Try to avoid the phrase "You give me the impression that …". You can rephrase it so that you start with "I." Rather than saying "I feel like you never do the dishes," say, "I feel like I am constantly washing the dishes."

  • Do not cut the floor. Give the partner a few seconds of silence, then ask if he's finished, if you don't know.
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 11

Step 5. Find time to talk

This is very useful advice to avoid the build-up of tension in your romantic relationship and the fear that accompanies the expression: we need to talk about it. Schedule a time once a week or once a month to talk about all kinds of issues (big and small) in your romantic relationship. Thus, you will be less likely to have difficulties that can cause a breakup.

You can also schedule the times when you are not speaking to each other. If, for example, you are constantly tired when you come home from work, give yourself a quarter of an hour (or more) to relax and where each of you can hang out

Part 3 of 3: Moving forward in your life

It's time to move on if you've tried everything suggested above and you're not going anywhere. Your ex may see the new person you've become and want to see you back if your situation changes for the better. But don't focus on it, because it won't work. It's up to you to want this change.

Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 12

Step 1. Don't look miserable

It doesn't hurt to make it clear to the other person that you would like to be with him or her again and that you are upset by this breakup, but don't flaunt your emotions. Smile, be cheerful and optimistic, and don't put on a spectacle of absolute doom. Instead, try to express contentment and this attitude will gradually become a reality.

Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 13

Step 2. Make new friends

This is a very important measure, especially if most of your friends were your ex's first. Any activity, such as those listed in the next step, can be a good way to meet new people. It can be helpful to tell them that you are looking for new friends after a breakup, but you shouldn't overwhelm them with information about your misfortunes!

Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 14

Step 3. Go outside and try new activities

Find a new hobby, meet new people and have fun! You can try the following things.

  • Go out with your friends (if you have any).
  • Join a new group and participate in their activities.
  • Work on a project you've been wanting to accomplish for a while.
  • Taking a course is a great way to combine dating and a new leisure activity.
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 15

Step 4. Exclude your ex from your life

You are not going to get over your breakup if you spend your time thinking about him or her. It is best to let your ex distract yourself as little as possible. You can do this in the following ways.

  • Delete it from all the social networks you frequent.
  • Delete their number from your phone.
  • Ask your friends not to talk about this breakup.
  • Try to resist the urge to bring up this topic yourself. Ask loved ones for help if you are having trouble doing so. You can do this when you're about to bring up the topic of your ex or ask them in advance to change the subject whenever you try to talk about your breakup.
Get the Love of Your Life Back Step 16

Step 5. Go out with other people

Play the game and allow yourself to meet new people, even if you think you probably won't meet anyone. Don't compare others to your ex, but appreciate what appeals to you about them. Try online dating sites if you have a hard time meeting people in real life or just hang out with old friends (if you have any) and let them know that you want to have a new romantic encounter.

Warnings

  • Know when you are stuck in an abusive relationship. Don't believe your partner when he or she puts you down or tells you that you can't live without him or her. This is abuse and you absolutely have to go!
  • You should accept your partner's decision and move on if he firmly refuses to get back with you. A romantic relationship is when two people try to make the effort to make it last, and you won't get anything by wanting to pursue an ex who doesn't want you anymore.
  • Respect the limits imposed by your ex if he does not want to see you anymore. He won't be inclined to come back to you if you don't let him do what he wants. Seeking to see him again at any cost is harassment, which is illegal.
  • Never resort to violence. This is the best way to end your romantic relationship for good. It can also lead to legal action: it is illegal to hurt people, no matter how angry you are with that person's choices.
  • Don't blackmail the person to do what you want them to do. This type of process will ruin your romantic relationship as likely as violence. He causes resentment, which will not mend the romantic relationship. Moreover, it is illegal too.

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