It might seem impossible to get your ex to fall in love with you again, but it is still possible. For that to happen, you need to think about the things that brought your relationship to an end before you find ways to show yourself in a better light. You are also going to have to talk about your feelings with your ex and what you want to do with them.
Part 1 of 3: Preparing your ex to fall in love again
Step 1. Keep your distance
While you are deciding whether or not to get back together with your ex, you shouldn't come into contact with him or her. It's important to be out of touch with your ex so that you can deal with your emotions, understand the break-up, and prepare to move on. Even if you decide to get back together, you still need to make time for yourself, just like your ex needs it.
Don't text him or reply to messages he sends you until you feel you've had enough time to think about the breakup. It can be difficult, but you are doing it for your own good
Step 2. Find out if your ex is still available
Before determining if you are making the right decision in wanting to get back together with your ex, you need to find out if he is still available. If it has been a while since you broke up, it is possible that he is dating someone else. If so, you might be better off trying to start a relationship with someone else.
Don't try to get back together with your ex if they are already dating someone. Follow your own interests, meet other people, and be patient
Step 3. Ask yourself why you want to get back together with your ex
Even if you've had a great relationship together, sometimes it's better to let that relationship go. Before you start trying to date your ex, ask yourself why you want to do it.
- Here are some great reasons to get back together with your ex: It wasn't a good time the first time you tried, you needed more time to recover from a past relationship, or you changed your mind about about your relationship.
- Here are some bad reasons to get back together with your ex: you're afraid of being alone (of course, it's not nice to be alone after a relationship, but that doesn't mean you have to get over it). with your ex without thinking about it), you miss the routine (again, it's a natural feeling, but that doesn't mean you have to get back together), you are jealous of their new relationship (again, this is a normal feeling, but it is not a good basis for building a new relationship).
- You should talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about whether you should get back together with your ex. It will help you forget fancy reasons and maybe even help you move on.
Step 4. Ask yourself if this relationship was healthy and if it is worth rekindling it
As well as thinking about your reasons for wanting to get back together with your ex, you should also consider the relationship as a whole and consider whether it's worth rekindling. If you broke up because the relationship was not right for one of you, you should take some time to consider whether it makes sense to resume it.
For example, if you are constantly arguing and don't appreciate the time you spend together, it's probably not worth rekindling the relationship
Step 5. If you are not sure, make a list of pros and cons
If you have a lot of mixed feelings about why you want to get back with your ex, make a list of pros and cons to help you make up your mind. Be honest with yourself when putting together this list, and don't forget anything even if it seems unimportant or insignificant to you. Make a list of all the things that could help you get a better idea of your relationship and make your decision.
Part 2 of 3: getting your ex to fall in love again
Step 1. Focus on yourself
Even if you're 100% sure that you want to get back together with your ex, it's important that you take the time to refocus on yourself in the first place. Use this time to improve yourself so that it is easier for you to get back together with your ex. Here are several things you should focus on.
- Find yourself a new hobby.
- Improve your health by playing sports or dieting.
- Keep a journal to write down what you think and feel.
- Spend more time with your friends.
Step 2. Behave in a relaxed manner
It's important not to appear desperate if you want to win your ex back. You should not then let him know that you want to get back together. It could scare her and ruin your chances of rekindling your relationship.
Take a long time before contacting him again. If you come across him by chance, act in a relaxed manner. Don't let him see that you would like to get back with him
Step 3. Restore contact
Send a message to your ex to reconnect. Texting would be ideal, as it's a more relaxed way to communicate than a phone call or email. He's also much less likely to text or talk about it, which is why it's a more private way to communicate with your ex.
- Keep the message casual and light. Don't say anything too intense like, “I can't live without you. Instead, tell him something funny that happened to you or something interesting that made you remember him.
- Make sure you're sober when you get back to your ex. Drunk texting or phone calls can only lead to disasters.
Step 4. Choose to meet for coffee or lunch
The best time to meet your ex is during the day, as it will seem less serious than if you wanted to meet him in the evening. Ask if you can meet for coffee or lunch. This will give you a chance to see each other, break the ice, and decide whether or not you want to continue your reconciliation efforts with your ex.
- Don't tell her about wanting to get back together on the first date. Make the date fun and light and leave things where they are for now.
- Make sure you look fantastic when you first meet. You will feel much more confident in looking the best you can possibly be while making your ex want to get back with you.
Step 5. Bring back your happy memories to your ex
Talking about your fond memories is a great way to rekindle the flame. Reminding your ex of the happy times you shared will help them remember what was good in your relationship and they will be more open to reconciliation.
Keep in mind that you also have to talk about the bad sides of your relationship at some point, but in the beginning, enjoy your happy memories together instead
Step 6. Bring out your best assets
As you try to win your ex back, you need to think about the things that attracted him to you in the first place so that you can show them to him. For example, if your ex was initially drawn to your sense of humor, you need to find ways to make him laugh. Or, if your ex admired your cooking skills, find a way to talk about the last dish you cooked.
Step 7. Be patient
Although it may seem difficult, you need to be patient when you start talking to your ex again. If your ex doesn't respond to your first text, refrain from harassing him all the time until he answers you. Just wait to see if he answers you. If it doesn't respond, start over after allowing several days to pass.
Step 8. Observe her signs of interest
If your ex didn't respond to your texts or seemed to answer you coldly when you had a chat, you can assume that he doesn't really want to start your relationship again just yet. But if your ex is warm, friendly, and happy when he hears your voice, you might have a chance.
Just make sure you don't delude yourself too much even if the signs look positive. It is also possible that your ex is just plain polite
Part 3 of 3: discussing the possibility of getting back together
Step 1. Tell him what you think
At some point, you're going to have to tell your ex how you feel and want to get back together. This conversation might seem weird to you, but if your ex hasn't brought it up yet, you're going to have to do it yourself. Make sure you show her that you are willing to put in the effort and that you are genuinely interested in this relationship.
Say something like, “After the time we were apart, I was able to mature and thought it would be good to give our relationship a second chance. What do you think about it ? "
Step 2. Prepare to discuss the things that went wrong when you were together
It is inevitable that you will discuss with your ex the reasons which led you to break up. Your ex might be skeptical about your change or your desire to change, which is why you need to reassure him. Make sure you're ready to discuss the things you've been up to and don't want your relationship to end up in the same dead ends as the first time around.
Step 3. Commit to change
If you say you are going to make an effort to change things or to change yourself, be prepared to keep the promises you made. If you don't hold them, your relationship will soon end again. Make sure that you and your partner really want your relationship to work out and that you are willing to put in the effort.
Step 4. Anticipate his refusal
In some cases, reconciliation is simply not possible. If your ex doesn't want to try again, respect his honesty and don't pressure or harass him to get you back together. Chances are, the two of you need more time or that this relationship doesn't deserve further efforts to rekindle it.
If you feel like you are pressuring him, it's probably because you are. Calm down and relax
- There's one thing you need to keep in mind when trying to get your ex back: if it doesn't work or your ex doesn't want it, don't force it. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and that you don't have to beg someone to be with you!
- Don't try to change who you are for someone else.