How to react if your boyfriend is obsessed with your butt

How to react if your boyfriend is obsessed with your butt
How to react if your boyfriend is obsessed with your butt

Your boyfriend is probably drawn to hundreds of things about you … However, sometimes the attraction borders on obsession. If your boyfriend has made your butt an obsession, it may make you feel some kind of embarrassment. Over time, you might feel like you're just an object in his eyes… If so, start trying to fix the problem now. Make him aware of his behavior at every opportunity that presents itself in order to set limits. Have a frank discussion with your boyfriend to explain to him what is bothering you about his behavior and why. Eventually, if things don't change, you may have to question your romantic relationship. There is no point in wasting your time with someone who only sees you as a sexual object …


Part 1 of 3: cope in the moment

Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 1

Step 1. Identify your own limits

Before knowing what behavior to adopt, you must identify your limits. You need to understand what you are capable of accepting and not accepting in your relationship.

  • You should never feel guilty for setting your limits. If a behavior makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, you have the right to say so. Don't worry what your boyfriend thinks about it.
  • Think about what is bothering you about his behavior. Maybe in private, you like your boyfriend to emphasize your physical advantages, but you don't like him touching you too much in public. Try to make a mental list of your limits. This way you will know when to express your needs.
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 2

Step 2. Fix the problem as soon as the opportunity arises

For a relationship to work, you should never let resentment set in. You should be able to talk about your rights and limitations without embarrassment at any time. As soon as your boyfriend crosses the line, let him know.

  • For example, let's say your boyfriend starts making degrading comments about your butt that bothers you. Maybe you even mind when he does this in private?
  • As soon as this opportunity presents itself, tell him you are bothered by it. Above all, don't get angry, but don't be silent either. You can tell him something like, "I don't like it when you talk to me like that".
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 3

Step 3. Be nice, but firm

There is a difference between being assertive and defensive. The point is not to provoke an argument. When dealing with behavioral issues, be clear and direct without being aggressive.

  • You don't have to raise your voice or slap your boyfriend. You can just tell him about the problem in a calm, clear voice. Avoid arguing or getting angry. Be firm, but polite.
  • For example, if you don't like your boyfriend touching your butt in public, say, “I really don't like you touching me like that, it bothers me”.
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 4

Step 4. You need to be aware of your rights

Often, we feel responsible for what the other may be feeling. We tend to think that being nice means avoiding any form of conflict. This is not true. If that annoys or infuriates your boyfriend, that's not your problem. You have rights and it's up to you to decide who can touch your body (and in what situation) and no one has the right to choose for you.

  • If your boyfriend makes you feel guilty, be strong. He may resist and answer you something like: "It's not something serious" or "It's not my fault that you are so attractive".
  • You are not responsible for how he feels. His right to express his feelings is no more important than your right to respect. If your boyfriend is frustrated, it's nothing to do with you. Remember that you have the right to feel comfortable and secure in a romantic relationship. Nobody should take that away from you.

Part 2 of 3: Discuss the Problem

Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 5

Step 1. Think about what you would like to say to her

Your best bet would be to sit down and have a frank chat with your boyfriend. Don't let resentment set in. Before you speak, think about what you want to say. What exactly are you expecting from this conversation? How do you want to approach the problem?

  • You can try to put your thoughts down on paper. Jotting down your feelings in a journal can help you figure out how to best express them.
  • Think about what you think is vital. Do you just want your boyfriend to understand how you are feeling? Do you want him to change his behavior? Think about what you expect from this conversation while writing down what you are going to say.
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 6

Step 2. Get started without any special expectations

Expectations can generate apprehension or anxiety. If you think your boyfriend is going to react in a certain way, it may influence your behavior.

  • You might assume that your boyfriend is going to get angry. If you think about it, you might immediately get on the defensive and be hostile.
  • Try to let go of all the waiting. It will help you stay calm. You can also let things happen naturally rather than trying to control the situation.
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 7

Step 3. Speak in the first person

This way, you will put forward what you feel instead of being in judgment. Your boyfriend will feel less like you blame him. Do this in three steps. Start by saying “I feel…” and immediately express your feelings. Then explain what behavior causes these emotions in you. Finally, explain why you feel these negative things.

  • For example, you could say something like, “When you touch my butt in public, I feel devalued. I have the impression that you consider me as an object”. How you feel is very valid, but it is possible that your boyfriend will feel attacked or judged if you present it that way.
  • Instead, rephrase it by saying something like, "I feel devalued when you touch my butt in public because it makes me feel like an object and not a person."
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 8

Step 4. Discuss what you want to see changed about him

By the end of the conversation, you should have decided on a plan of attack. It is necessary that you both have a clear understanding of what needs to change.

  • Give him concrete and positive indications to move forward. Don't just tell him he's done wrong. Tell him what behavior you will no longer tolerate and also tell him which behavior to replace his bad habits.
  • For example, you could say something like, “I like it when you compliment me on my looks. It makes me feel good. But I prefer that you do it in private and not in front of your friends”.

Part 3 of 3: Make Relationship Decisions

Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 9

Step 1. You must know how to recognize a sexual objectification

There is a clear distinction between sexual attraction and sexual objectification. If your boyfriend tells you it's about attraction, his obsession with a part of your body can turn into objectification.

  • Do you think your boyfriend has a special perception of this part of your body? If he is only interested in your body and not in your personality, it is because he perceives you as a sexual object.
  • Think about how he talks about your butt and how he interacts physically. Do you think he treats you like a person? Do you think he cares about your personality and your intelligence beyond your physique?
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 10

Step 2. Observe any misogynistic tendencies

These tendencies can end up hurting your relationship. If your boyfriend is the macho type, it may be difficult for him to change his behavior.

  • Does your boyfriend tend to change his personality? Maybe it happens to him to exceed the limits to get angry, then to do everything so that you forgive him … In this case, know that he will start crossing the limits again.
  • Is your boyfriend trying to control you? Is he competitive? Is he trying to control the way you dress, the way you behave? Does he feel threatened by your successes and your successes?
  • Is he communicating in a fuzzy way? Does it happen that he talks to you every day, then disappears from your radars for a whole week without giving an explanation?
Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt Step 11

Step 3. Decide whether you want to stay or not

It takes hard work to make a relationship work. You have to make a whole lot of compromises, but your personal limits are not to be negotiated. Your boyfriend should respect you as an individual. If not, it's not worth it.

  • If you've discussed your limits with your boyfriend, but he refuses to take them into account, then he has no respect for you. Yet you deserve much better than that.
  • If your boyfriend consistently oversteps the boundaries you've set for him, that's a very clear sign that your relationship isn't healthy. It might be better to leave it and move on.

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