Everyone is looking for that special someone to make a real connection with. Countless literary, musical and artistic works revolve around this theme. Love can be a real battleground, but it can also be a muse. If you are motivated and really believe that this ideal person exists, you will be able to find love.
Part 1 of 4: come out of your shell
Step 1. Get out of your shell and go on a date
The sooner you start looking for love, the sooner you will find that special someone. It can be scary, but you have to start somewhere.
- Start with something as simple as changing your body language. Avoid slouching, crossing your legs and arms, and don't be too rigid. If you open your shoulders and relax, you will look more accessible.
- To break the ice and get a date, you could try dating this acquaintance who has a crush on you.
Not all the people you date might be totally interesting to you, but you will gain experience
Step 2. Pay attention to your daily activities
For example, instead of using your smartphone to distract yourself, get into the habit of looking around in the places you go to regularly. Your future love may be closer than you think, so try chatting with someone you find interesting.
- Start a conversation with someone you see often at your favorite cafe.
- Suggest that your colleague go for a drink after work.
Step 3. Do something you've always dreamed of doing
You might meet someone special by doing something fulfilling. This special person might not be your type, but you might learn more about love and life in general.
- As you try new things together, unexpected and exciting love may emerge. It is not for nothing that we say that "opposites attract".
For example, if you enjoy parachuting and your partner enjoys reading poetry in the park, the combination of a taste for adventure and a love of simplicity can create a wonderful balance
Step 4. Create a profile on a dating site
If you're too busy or nervous to go out, try dating online. Thanks to apps and dating sites, it's getting easier and easier to find someone who shares your interests. Just click a button to find the perfect person.
- In the digital age we live in, it is very common for couples to form through dating apps and sites. To find the perfect dating app or site, search the internet using keywords that describe your personality. Many sites and applications focus on particular activities, careers and philosophies:
Step 5. Ask a friend to set you up on a date
The majority of couples continue to form thanks to their group of friends, so why not you? Ask someone you trust if they know someone who is right for you. In the court of love, your friend might just be the best judge.
- If you're trying to chat with someone you like, your friends might be your best support. They can help you start the conversation, boost your ego, then let you take the lead …
- Try to go out with two couples. You will probably be more comfortable around a friend and have a great time.
- Ask your friends to help you put together this dating profile! They will have an outside perspective and will be able to choose the photos that put you to your advantage, with complete objectivity. They will also help you choose potential candidates.
Part 2 of 4: be yourself
Step 1. Be honest
Don't be afraid to express your real opinions and your real personality. If your partner is still there, your company is appreciated. If another date doesn't turn out, you might feel rejected, but that means the relationship wasn't meant to be lived. Being honest and sincere with yourself can help you avoid wasting time.
Also, if you try to act based on your partner rather than being yourself, you risk harboring resentment, stress, and embarrassment. These feelings are not a solid foundation for a relationship
Step 2. Attend more interesting events
You might meet someone there who shares your interests, or even more! Thanks to this event and the common points you will share, you will easily find topics for conversation and it could lead to a first date.
- If you love literature and art, join a book club or arts community.
- If you love to cook, take a class and strike up a conversation with a classmate.
- Even if you can't seem to make a connection, you'll be doing something you love.
Step 3. Follow your instincts
Your partner might not be the ideal image you have in your head, but if you are feeling well, that is most important. On the contrary, if there is something that is bothering you, do not ignore these signals.
Your subconscious is responding to situations that reflect your purpose (here, finding love), so it's always good to trust your instincts
Part 3 of 4: Be aware of what you deserve
Step 1. Make a list
Note point by point the positive and negative sides present in your partner. The list of positives should always be longer than the list of negatives if you want to have a healthy relationship.
- Keep adding points to the list, as you will learn more about your partner every day.
- After an argument, take a look at your list. It can help you appreciate what you have or realize what you lack.
- This is a great exercise to take a step back from your relationship. This can be useful in times of stress. You might realize that it's not your partner that is making you unhappy, but maybe it is your job or your diet.
Step 2. Think about what you are going to gain from it
Your perfect match could complement your current situation and help you thrive. Relationships are constantly evolving. They undulate and fluctuate as they progress and regress. But in the end, what's interesting is finding a relationship that makes you move forward in a positive way.
- Ask yourself a number of questions.
- Does your partner support you in your goals?
- Will he push you beyond your capabilities?
- Does he inspire you?
Step 3. Look for qualities that you respect
Remember this golden rule: “Treat others as you would like to be treated”. If the person you are interested in does not have the values that are important to you, do not underestimate this problem.
- Pay attention to how the object of your love treats others. Your partner might be treating you well, but if they treat others with disrespect, it can be a good indication of how things might turn out between you.
- Think about the relationships your partner has with friends and family. Depending on the circumstances, this can give you a good idea of how your relationship may turn out.
Part 4 of 4: be patient
Step 1. Have Confidence
The quest for love is worth it and so are you! Confidence will make you magnetic, both physically and mentally, so boost your self-confidence and love yourself.
- Confident people are excellent traders. Sell yourself and prove to others that you are worth it.
- Also, if you trust your partner, they may like you in return. We tend to like people who like us.
Step 2. Don't give up
Don't stop just because you haven't found that gem yet. The more you go out, the more opportunities you have to fall in love. This is pure statistics. Anything worth experiencing is worth fighting for.
You might not fall in love on the first date, but you can't tell if it will happen on the second, 15th, or even 100th date
Step 3. Learn from your mistakes
The more people you go out with, the more mistakes will be made, by you or by your partner. You can learn from each of your mistakes, you just have to know what the lesson is.
- With each missed appointment and each rejection, you will be able to learn how to play the game better.
- You will be better able to interpret red signs and alerts.
- You will also learn in which places you thrive best. What type of meeting allows you to be to your advantage (whether it is a particular activity or a simple coffee)?
- You will begin to notice a pattern taking shape. If you go from failed dates to unsatisfying relationships, take a step back and try to see if there is any commonality between these stories. The next time you enter a relationship, you can try to do things differently.
- You will find out more about yourself and what you really want out of life and your relationships.
Step 4. Don't get completely absorbed in your search for love
Make the effort to find your perfect match, but don't let that research define you too much. This may cause you to get into a relationship with the wrong person.
Some may find a charm in your independence. Individualism is also very attractive
- Give second chances. If a first date doesn't go the way you imagined, that doesn't mean the second isn't going to go well.
- Avoid nitpicking. The minor differences (one prefers cats, the other dogs, one prefers Harry Potter while the other prefers Lord of the Rings…) are probably not important. If you feel good with each other and enjoy spending time together, that's most important.
- If you're nervous, face it. If something is making you nervous, you really want it. Your date is probably just as nervous as you are!